You're gonna test, and I'm gonna watch.

[testgasm]

Who: Weetabix. YOU.
What: TIME EATING
When: Who even knows.
Where: APERTURE WHEATLEY LABS
Warnings: Weird time shenanigans. Inappropriate noises.

You walk through the door and find yourself in a room.



You appear to be alone. The room is empty save the door you came from and a door that is obviously the exit--though neither will open. A large, red button sits in the middle of the chamber, surrounded by several cube...things.

There is an oversized TV monitor bolted to the wall but it appears to be off.

In front of you is a pedestal that holds two things--a strange device and a pair of boots. The gun-like apparatus has two triggers, but firing either at any of the walls does nothing. More fiddling, however, and you might realize that the gun can be used for picking things up--and perhaps even used to put things on other things (HINT HINT).

The floor and walls shake gently around you, tremors of some far-off disturbance. You might want to put those boots on, and find a way out of here while you're at it.

Comments

[baad_romance]

What.


The.


Fuck.

[planking]

Is the answer to this test "curl up in the fetal position and go to your happy place"?

Because that is what Flint wants to do whenever he is surrounded by SCIENCE. Like he is now. He is standing as still as possible, trying not to touch anything, less he get SCIENCE GERMS on him. Because that is totally a thing that happens when you touch technology.

[did_well_enough]

It takes a little bit, but GLaDOS' body on the floor finally shifts as she groggily wakes up. However, her eyes shot open immediately once she sees where she is. In fact, that may be a small smile, as she realizes she's back at Aperture.

Wait...she can't smile as a robot...

And that's when it hits her, she's still in her humanoid body. Not only that, but...there's Frakenturrets here...and that familiar monitor-

"Oh you have got to be kidding me."

Hear that? That's the sound of GLaDOS realizing she's gone...back in time somehow.

With Wheatley in charge.

...well at least she wasn't a potato.

[testsubject1]

Of course. Chell really would wake up here of all places, wouldn't she? You see that face, Wheatley? That's the face someone makes when they're exasperated, as if to say, "You've got to be kidding me."

So, was this Smash Academy thing all a pipe dream then? Probably. GLaDOS never would have let her free and given her back her cube. She never would have stumbled across this random civilization with a school where she was trapped. Again. No, she was back in an even worse situation. With Wheatley. Then again, Wheatley was in her little dream anyway, pretending to be someone named Pendleton.

But, if she had gone back to reality, then where was GLaDOS? She looked at her portal gun and found no potato attached. Okay. Maybe that was a good thing, maybe not. She might as well go through these monotonous tests again and find Wheatley and put an end to him.

So obviously she knows what to do with the red button and cube and stuff. She's pretty quick about it until...

What. Since when were there other people here? Since when.... GLaDOS? But... Wait, GLaDOS was only in a human form in her dream at that school. So that meant that that wasn't a dream. And she had left the school and gone back to the lab. God damn it.

She hoped GLaDOS didn't expect her to carry her around again.

oh my god why is byrne here

[dothelokomotion]

Oh. This was high-tech.

So much technology.

SO MUCH TECHNOLOGY...

Byrne wouldn't admit it aloud, but he honestly had no idea what he was doing. So he just stared. He stared at everything, trying to figure out why he was here. Staring. At things.

Had he gone forward in time or something? Not impossible, since the Academy seemed to converge many timelines into one. But this wasn't the Academy.

So. He continued staring.

[makesithot]

...Huh? Chili groans and looks ahead, feeling kind of sleepy... or, he thinks. Wasn't he just in another one of these dumb dreams? or realities? or somethings? And one would think he'd be done with this by now... Well, it appears not, for here he is! This warrants another groan from the boy.

This time, he notes, he's in a drab room with some lit-up signs. There are two pairs of freaky boots and some other things over there, as well as yet more things that look like weird robots. Chili pulls a long face, suddenly feeling less sleepy than before. He turns to his right, about to moan aloud when he notices a familiar blue-haired boy at his side. Cress!

"Cress!!" he exclaims, his expression brightening up significantly. "Boy, am I pleased to see you! I have no idea where I am right now, but I keep zoning in to the strangest places! ...Well, kind of like this!" He motions around the room to emphasize his point. "Do you have any idea what's going on?"

[whitedeviljack]

Raiden could've sworn he completed a VR mission like this once. Except there weren't freaky... hermit crab robot things scuttling around.

"Where am I...?" He spun around in confusion. Cold, stuffy, unnervingly sterile... if it weren't for the strange, distant burning smell and ominous rumbles he would've likened this place to being inside of Arsenal Gear's guts again. Naturally, this got him to raise a hand to his ear, desperately calling someone--anyone--on his codec.

"Snake, this is Raiden. Do you copy?" No answer, of course.

"Snake?!" He tried again. It's never worked before but, maybe... "Rose? Rose can you hear me? I'm... stuck in some kind of weird place! There's these little things crawling around and the only door won't open..."

No answer.

"Damn it." He muttered to himself, giving up. Someone obviously put all these things here for a reason; that weird looking gun and those weird go-go thigh-high boots. Blatantly announcing your presence was generally Very Bad Protocol when it came to missions, but for all Raiden knew, this was just a bad dream... or another day at Smash Academy.

Tentatively, he approached the gun, carefully minding his step around the box crabs. On-site weapon procurement was standard operating procedure, right? He curiously examined the weapon. It was unlike anything he had ever seen before, but found it rested comfortably in his hand. He took an experimental shot at one of the box crabs. It seemed to shoot some kind of energy beam, but...

"That didn't do anything." Next easily observable thing was the big red button.

Big red buttons were generally a bad idea to push, unless they were attached to a video game controller, but it wasn't hard to see there was a string of lights leading from the button to the locked door.

Raiden... very carefully edged towards the big red button. He brought the tip of shoe closer... he was inching his toe closer and closer.

...CLOSER AND CLOSER.

HE WAS SWEATING. HE WAS MAYBE SHAKING A LITTLE.

WHAT WOULD HAPPEN?

WOULD HE DIE IF HE PUSHED THIS BUTTON?

WOULD IT, PRESUMABLY, OPEN THE DOOR? OPEN HIS HEART AND SOUL AND DREAMS?

WHAT WERE THOSE THINGS SERIOUSLY? THEY WERE KIND OF CREEPY. WHO MADE THEM?! WHY WERE THEY HERE? WHY WAS HE HERE?

Raiden and Raiden's shoe pushed the button.

[thewrightidea]

Phoenix ended up here and was really confused about where he was. When he turned a corner, a turret started shooting at him and he was like "WHAT THE HELL" and he died the end.