You're gonna test, and I'm gonna watch.

[testgasm]

Who: Weetabix. YOU.
What: TIME EATING
When: Who even knows.
Where: APERTURE WHEATLEY LABS
Warnings: Weird time shenanigans. Inappropriate noises.

You walk through the door and find yourself in a room.



You appear to be alone. The room is empty save the door you came from and a door that is obviously the exit--though neither will open. A large, red button sits in the middle of the chamber, surrounded by several cube...things.

There is an oversized TV monitor bolted to the wall but it appears to be off.

In front of you is a pedestal that holds two things--a strange device and a pair of boots. The gun-like apparatus has two triggers, but firing either at any of the walls does nothing. More fiddling, however, and you might realize that the gun can be used for picking things up--and perhaps even used to put things on other things (HINT HINT).

The floor and walls shake gently around you, tremors of some far-off disturbance. You might want to put those boots on, and find a way out of here while you're at it.

Comments

[makesithot]

Chili holds the gun up so he can inspect it while Wheatley gives it a name. After the command, he tilts his head, suspicious. He recalls that before when he fired it in the other room, nothing happened, but he's willing to give it another go without complaint.

"Allllllllriiiiight!" Chili chirps, and he springs forward and fires a shot across the room and hits a panel a bit high from ground level. When he stops to see what the damage was, he is met with a luminescent oval hole in the wall. "Huh?" His tone is flat.

[makesitcool]

"You blew a hole straight through the wall," muses Cress. He's pretty impressed with how perfectly oval the blow had rendered the panel's new hole. An Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device... ah! Maybe it was in the name! "So this device creates instant portals that lead into the adjacent rooms?" he questions. "But how do we reach it with a ledge this size impeding our progress... Is there a lever or a switch we're meant to locate somewhere?"

OH LOOK. A button. That's a button over there, right? Maybe the glowy squares are instructions, kind of like in the last room. Cress heads toward it so that he may inspect it more closely. THE CUTE LITTLE PICTURE INSTRUCTIONS READ: Cube falls from chute (oh look a chute dead ahead) and cube falls on switch (hey wow that sure does look like a switch beneath that chute). There really seems to be no harm in pushing this button. So he does it without any further validation. Maybe he'd solve the test?

[makesithot]

The 'portal' remains covered in an orange veil, so Chili doesn't understand how Cress came to the conclusion that the orange-y hole would be something of a doorway. However, it does make some sense... didn't that robot guy call it something-about-a-Portal-Device? Who would have thought something like this existed! Chili leaves Cress to his own musing and button-pressing as he tries to solve the mystery involving the oval-shaped holes.

If Cress was concerned about getting over to the other side, Chili wonders if they could make another portal on the wall behind them. He turns around and shoots another portal using a different trigger, creating a ground-level portal leading to the other side. He blinks in wonder, and stares at Cress through the blue-rimmed portal. He was... all the way over there, and so was he!! He could even see himself looking into the portal down there!

The Fire-type gym leader laughs as he witnesses Cress press the button. "Hey, Cress, I see you!"

[makesitcool]

Cress whips around to see what in the world Chili's talking about when he discovers a brand new hole in the wall, this one girdled in blue and revealing... them? In the room? From the perspective of the other portal, just as though it were some kind of security camera peeping in from across the room? He came closer to the portal.

"Well, I can see you too." He pauses with a hand to his hip and taps his ASHPD against his thigh. "So if Cress is understanding this correctly, these devices create wormholes that allow us easy passage from point A to point B... Unbelievable!" He was just going to keep staring at it because it was fascinating to just... watch.

"Although, you could have stood to aim the first portal a tad lower, wouldn't you say?"

[makesithot]

Chili turns to give Cress a glare. "Then how about you do it, if it bothers you so much?" he grumbles, pouting.

[makesitcool]

"A fair suggestion." With that pert response he cocks his gun theatrically and swirls around to aim it at the panel below Chili's portal, creating a second one in a much more convenient location. Once that was done, he swerves around again to aim his blue portal right next to Chili's, never missing a beat on purpose. With a sure smirk he brushes his bangs away from his face only to let them fall back into their place and saunters off into the fresh portal.

[makesithot]

"What a show-off!" blurts Chili, and he places a hand on his hip. "We don't even need that, see?!"

He looks at his own set of portals that he created, and experimentally sticks a foot through the one at his side. He hops through, hoping he can land steadily in these dumb shoes.

...Unfortunately, he topples right on top of Cress, forcing his brother to meet the ground as he lay on top him. "Yeowch! Cress, you should have moved out of the way!" he scolds.

[makesitcool]

His flawless one-upmanship: RUINED!!

"Mmf... Chili, you clumsy oaf! Get off of me!" he barks as he tries in vain to peel his body from the cold hard floor. Between the harsh chin-smashing collision with the ground and the weight of his brother imposing down upon him, he's in a world of pain and indignity.

[makesithot]

"Hey! I am not!" he retorts, pushing himself up with his free palm and letting his knees do the rest. How to get back up on these weird heels...?

"I hope that hurt, because you deserved that, you jerk!"

[makesitcool]

Cress was so tempted to accidentally bring up his own heel at the most opportune moment when Chili was clambering off him. Which was as he was straddling that leg he was itching to kick up.

But he resisted. That was such a cheap method of payback. Besides, then Chili would start pummeling him furiously and they'd become nothing but a squabbling heap of limbs flailing about trying to land blows and shoot portals on one another. That wouldn't do.

"Mark my words; you'll pay for that," mutters Cress darkly as he rolls over and sits up, delicately pushing himself back to his feet. Did you SEE THAT, Chili? Getting back up off these heels? Piece of cake. You just suck.

[makesithot]

Yes. Only the truest and finest of whores can navigate the world so naturally in high heels. Like Cress. Chili gives him a bitter glare and snorts at the thought as he awkwardly scrambles to his feet, adjusting the portal gun in his hand. "Pssh, yeah right! Bring it on!"

...Right, the button. It seems as though the cube landed right on the button, no problem. Chili turns away from Cress and shouts, "Heeey, Wheatley! Are we done here?! We pressed the button!" He sounds... a little ticked. He just doesn't want to work with Cress anymore.

[testgasm]

Though the flood of solution euphoria through his system had been basically the best thing ever, and though he allowed Chili and Cress more than enough time to acquaint themselves with their portal devices, this was just getting ridiculous. He'd watched them blankly for a few long minutes, allowing them to get accustomed to the mechanics, but now it was time to get a move on.

"Yes! Just...got to head through the door, get in the lift, now, and I'll set up something a bit more on the--on the cooperative side, for you."

And lo, the test that awaited them.

[makesithot]

Chili bolts for the door without consulting his blue-haired brother, and the two of them jump in the lift. His mood evens out just a tad, too enthralled by the new sights to behold to continue hating Cress for long.

Once they reach the next testing chamber, Chili blinks at the two split pathways. "Are we... supposed to split up?"

[makesitcool]

"My guess is as good as yours. Let's do it." As good a reason as any to get away from his stupid little punk of a brother. Chili may have been less incensed, but Cress? Cress had morphed into a raincloud. It's not like he was the one who got trampled or anything.

That said, he strolls over to the division on the right.

[makesithot]

Chili bounds over to the left-hand button and bounces to land on it, which he does with a thud. The blue-tinged wall did not budge. He gives it a puzzled look.

"Cress, go stand on the other button! This wall isn't going down!" he commands.

[makesitcool]

With a cold glance, he takes his step. The doors open. He proceeds out into the room ahead and takes a look around. His room is significantly different than Chili's... A few noteworthy aspects that differentiated his from Chili's were a laser, a button, a raised panel, and a chute. HMM.

[makesithot]

Without much thought, Chili decides to sprint forward. This was not a good move, as these wonderful turrets lurked just around the corner. Their sweeping red sensor alerts the gym leader just in time for him to keep out of their way, fortunately, and he plasters himself to the white panels of the wall to keep out of their way. Not without a gasp, of course. H-Hopefully that wouldn't be the end of him...! But he wouldn't tell Cress what he almost encountered just then. He would probably scold him if he'd seen that...

"So, what are you going to do, huuuh?!" he calls, his voice echoing in the empty room. Chili has the mindset that the two of them must be in separated chambers because they are intended to compete... could that be the case? Of course, he has yet to observe the room in detail, but doing that so soon just isn't his style.

[makesitcool]

Cress was already navigating his room and barely paid Chili any mind. His focus was directed on the button that should activate the chute and give him a cube to play with. With a push of the red switch, the cube tumbles out of the chute as he had been trained to expect. This one is a little different than the last cubes he worked with; it has circular glass windows on every face.

With so many options scattered around the room, it was hard to figure out what to mess with first. It was like a puzzle, really. Well, he could try setting it on the bigger button; that always did something, right? He goes over and sets it down right there. The bridge Chili should probably be crossing starts to form. Ah, maybe that was the goal! But what are those glowing lights on the other end from the lasers? He decides to see what Chili will do.

[makesithot]

Oh. Well, that certainly shattered his expectations: it seems as though he would end up relying on Cress to assist him through the level, maybe? Chili frowns a little from across the wall.

A bridge forms. But Chili still knows that something is there to shoot him. He looks back at Cress.

"What are you waiting for?!" he inquires, yelling loud enough for Cress to hear. "I can't go through there, unless I want to be fired at!"

[makesitcool]

So annoying... Brusquely, Cress replies, "Be patient, please."

He shoots a portal at the spot where the laser streaks uselessly against, only to find that nothing visibly has changed. Pursing his lips, he shifts his sights on the panel that is raised and shoots that with the second portal. All it does is make the laser beam redirect toward the ceiling, which is even more useless.

Well, maybe he needs that cube again after all. He plucks it from the button, thinking that maybe he should use his own body to hold down the button later as a last resort if he couldn't use the cube. Since it's reflective... Ah-ha! He could perhaps direct the laser with the cube, somehow...

Time to test it out, at least. He approaches it and holds the cube between it, watching to his great surprise as the laser transmits from his cube all the way to the other side of the sheer partition. Since he was still getting the hang of what he was doing he didn't dictate much control over it yet, and the beam rapidly closes in on Chili.

A blip of horror surges through Cress as the next events unfold before him.

[makesithot]

Be patient, he said. So Chili waits.

But before he knew it, Cress was sending a laser beam his way? That was something he was sure he didn't want to be hit by! "Aaaah, Cress!!" he screams, propelling himself away from the offending laser. For all he knew, that thing could kill him!

Of course, that landed him right in front of the searching turrets. They find their target, and just as Chili looks back to Cress, alarmed by what he felt was a close encounter...

From behind him, the turrets nail Chili with a round of shots to his back. He recoils from the impact, emitting something of a broken scream before he plummets to the ground. From there, he does not move; his left arm dangles over the edge of the platform listlessly.

[makesitcool]

The horror is fed, and it grows into a tremendous monster that swallows his mind whole. For a good solid moment, he is unable to process what transpired. His eyes widen. His pulse hastens. His mouth comes unhinged. He drops the cube.

He killed his brother.

That's when Cress begins to shake, delicately at first, but then his body is arrested by tremors so powerful they bring him to his knees, and he's not even strong enough to keep them from sliding out from beneath him. The scene plays over and over again, none of the times seeming real enough to comprehend. But the room is deafeningly silent compared to the carnage that made his brain go on repeat. It echoes mercilessly until it fades into white noise. Staring so hard and long at the very real image of Chili sprawled over the floor and unmoving like that brings him to snap.

"Ch...CH...CHILI!!"

A wild wail follows. He grips onto his skull, the portal device slamming against the side of his head while his free hand digs into his hair. No. No no NO NO! "This cannot be! I refuse to believe! I didn't do it, I, I..." His utterances are fragile as ice and sound like he's trying his hardest not to slip up and let loose another torrential scream.

"I KILLED MY OWN BROTHER!" Now he's in hysterics. He tugs at his locks and withdraws into himself like a scared crab in the sand, curling his legs in as though he can hide from the incident altogether, or maybe curl up back in time and redo it, be more careful, maybe even say a final sorry for being mad at him in the first place... It was his fault! It was all his fault!

"I'M SORRY, I'M SORRY, OHHH I'M SO SORRY!" He flings himself at the see-through barrier and presses into it, claws at it, nails scraping the surface until there's nothing he can do to destroy it, and his fingertips slide down torpidly, never leaving the partition. Tears slide down his face at the same speed. His hyperventilating mixes with the pathetic sobs that rise from his throat. All he wanted was to hold him one last time, and he couldn't even have that. Maybe see if by some fluke he was actually alive. Or maybe he wanted to be shot down too. In his heartbroken delirium he vastly preferred the latter notion.

[testgasm]

"Ohhh..."

Well, this is messy.

Wheatley has been watching the entire time, doing his best to keep his mouth shut, because he does remember what happened when he attempted to provide hints to the solution. "Maybe I shouldn't have started you off on a test with turrets. Unfortunate, that."

As Cress is about to learn, however, their esteemed testing proctor has little to no concern for human life. Maybe if Chili hadn't been so squishy and killable...

"Well, that's that, I suppose." A floor panel unfixes itself from the ground and begins nudging Chili's body towards a similarly-opened wall panel. "That does happen, if you're not careful. We'll have to go back to tests designed for one, now, and I'll, uh. I'll go easy on the turrets. How's that?"

[makesitcool]

Tests, tests, -- Cress could care LESS about TESTS right now! What were those panels doing with his brother? "Where... Where are you taking him?!" he demanded on a wavering breath. "Leave him be! No... YOU LEAVE HIM BE!! Let me see him; let me, LET me SEE HIM!"

More clawing uselessly against the barrier. Maybe some banging of the portal device against it too.

[testgasm]

Though he doesn't quite understand why Cress is so distraught, all the shouting and wailing and carrying on makes him nervous, and the panels come to a halt.

"Hold on, hold on, there's no need to get hysterical. I'm just taking the body off to the incinerator, that's all. It's just company protocol. That glass isn't going to break, it's bulletproof. Lucky for you, really."

Because that's comforting.