You're gonna test, and I'm gonna watch.

[testgasm]

Who: Weetabix. YOU.
What: TIME EATING
When: Who even knows.
Where: APERTURE WHEATLEY LABS
Warnings: Weird time shenanigans. Inappropriate noises.

You walk through the door and find yourself in a room.



You appear to be alone. The room is empty save the door you came from and a door that is obviously the exit--though neither will open. A large, red button sits in the middle of the chamber, surrounded by several cube...things.

There is an oversized TV monitor bolted to the wall but it appears to be off.

In front of you is a pedestal that holds two things--a strange device and a pair of boots. The gun-like apparatus has two triggers, but firing either at any of the walls does nothing. More fiddling, however, and you might realize that the gun can be used for picking things up--and perhaps even used to put things on other things (HINT HINT).

The floor and walls shake gently around you, tremors of some far-off disturbance. You might want to put those boots on, and find a way out of here while you're at it.

Comments

[testgasm]

WOW GOSH those cube-guys sure were friendly, weren't they? Scooting around and chirping and BEGGING FOR DEATH nudging up against Byrne's leg.

It's not long, however, before the adorable antics are interrupted by the room shaking and the sound of a far-off explosion.

Perhaps it would be a good idea to get out of the room.

[dothelokomotion]

What. What the hell were these things. Byrne would have automatically swiped at them with his grapple, but he was just... confused. What even were they?

After getting over his initial confusion, though, he did kick them away. And then there was an explosion. Oh.

Okay, it would be a good idea to get out of this room, then. Byrne could use this technology. Yes he could. It wasn't that hard. He sighed, putting on the boots and grabbing the gun. He had a feeling he would need them.

Seeing the large red button, he goes over and stands on it, letting the door open. Oh, that was easy. BUT. When he walked off the button, THE DOOR CLOSED. WHAT TRICKERY WAS THIS?

Instead of using the gun to pick up the cube, though, he picks it up with his hands and smacks it on the button, leaving it there. Then he grabs the gun again and runs through the door. Unfortunately, he refuses to attach it to his arm seeing as one of his arms already has a weapon attached. He's just... holding it.

[testgasm]

All at once, the monitor flickers to life and the door slams shut, even with the cube on the button.

"Hey, hey, hold on, where do you think you're going?"

He can't expect all these new test subjects to really know what's going on, after all.

"Haven't briefed you, yet, and trust me, you look like you're going to want some instruction."

[dothelokomotion]

Byrne stops running toward the door as it slams shut. What? He thought he was doing the damned test correctly. Or whatever this was. Getting out of this dungeon. It was like a badly designed Zelda dungeon.

He finds he wants to glare at whomever is speaking to him, but he can't seem to find the source. So he sighs and responds.

"I'd prefer to leave this place."

[testgasm]

Wheatley, of course, had no idea why anyone would not want to test for him, and narrowed his optical shutters ever-so-slightly in response.

"Well, uh, the way out is just past some test chambers. You'll have to go through them if you want. To leave."

[dothelokomotion]

Test chambers. So he was some sort of lab rat or something.

Yeah, Byrne had absolutely no desire to be a lab rat at all. In fact, he wanted the opposite. The thought of remaining in this powerless position was maddening, so he didn't actually think about it. The thought flashed in his head and he ignored it, determined that he was going to get the hell out of here.

"You'll have to reopen the door then," he said calmly to the annoying voice, "Assuming you were the one who just shut it on me."

[testgasm]

"I was, yes. That was--that was all me. I'll reopen the door, but watch your step on the catwalks."

As promised, the door reopened, revealing a series of platforms that wound around the test chamber. Beneath them was only the vague white mist that explicitly stated this pit is bottomless.

"It's a bit of a long fall."

[dothelokomotion]

Byrne moved forward, then, as the computer opened the door. He did indeed see the horribly long fall, knowing that a fall would indeed kill him if his grapple couldn't hold onto something long enough.

Right, his grapple. He wouldn't have to rely on this dumb little gun here, would he? He wasn't taking off his gauntlet to make room for it. He was doing it his own way.

SO in an act of defiance, he shot his grapple out, grabbing onto a beam on the ceiling and landing at the end of the series of catwalks. SCREW WALKING.

[testgasm]

"Oi, you'll want to put that away, mate," he snapped, clearly unamused by this BLATANT RULE-BREAKING. "It's not going to help you in there."

[dothelokomotion]

Byrne ignored the computer and continued moving into the next room. He would use his gauntlet as much as he could. He wasn't used to that fancy white gun, and truthfully had never used a gun before. They don't really exist in Hyrule okay.

So, he stood at the door, waiting for the next room to open...

[testgasm]

If Byrne was going to cheat, then Wheatley certainly wasn't going to play fair either. No sooner had he stepped up to the door, than the chamber in front of him began to rumble and move, shifting out of the way entirely to make room for a completely new test.

"Go on in. But don't say I didn't warn you. Not going to get very far without the ASHPD, and I don't think that thing is going to hold onto panels very well, so you might as well ditch it now. Just going to hold you back.."

[dothelokomotion]

Byrne just wanted to get out of here. But clearly that wouldn't happen unless he played this thing's little game. Which of you would like to play my little game?

So he stepped into the chamber and evaluated the situation. Okay. So. From what he gathered, he needed to put a cube on a button. Maybe. So, he walked over to the button and stood on it. Nope, no door opening. Instead, a weird blue ray was shooting out of a thing on the floor.

What.

How doe

Byrne looked to the ceiling. There were cables hanging around that he could grapple onto, but... that wouldn't help him much. The door was still closed.

So, he walked around and looked at every place in the room, finally discovering another button behind a glass wall with a hole in it. The hole was too small for him to squeeze through, so he did the next best thing: he shot his sharp grapple at it, hoping to shatter the glass.

Nope, it didn't break. It didn't even crack. Okay, so he shot it again, making sure the sharp fingers were pointed out to penetrate the wall. Still nothing. He tried again. And again. It wasn't working, and he was getting extremely frustrated.

"Let me out of here, you fiend," he hissed, tired of putting up with these high-tech logic puzzles. Byrne was a smart man, but this place was so foreign and science-y that it was nigh impossible for him to comprehend. If he had the power, the ultimate power that he had so craved, had worked so hard for... Well, then he wouldn't even be in this situation. If he was, he would have been able to shatter that glass, to grab a piece of wall and throw it on the button.

But for now, he had to make do. He stormed over to the button right next to a precarious edge and pressed it, hoping it would do something to get him out of here. Well, it dispensed a cube. A cube that sat upon that platform high above the bottomless pit.

Byrne shot his grapple up to the edge of that platform, hoping he could grab onto it and climb up, but it wouldn't hold. The platform's surface was too slick for him to get a steady grip.

Now what? Was he supposed to use that stupid gun? He sneered and picked up the shining white device, staring between it and his grapple. Well, you know what? He had two hands. He was going to put the gun on his other hand so that he had two weapons. He wasn't going to give up the gauntlet.

He shot the gun at one of the white walls, and another, producing what looked to be a hole. He peered into the blue one he made, seeing that it led to what looked like a different part of the room. As he stepped in, though, he found that he was in the same room. Just a few feet over.

SO. It was time for his brain to process this logic.

Ding! Finally, the lightbulb appeared over his head and he realized that the gun created portals. Of course!

Eagerly, he quickly shot the gun above the platform, hoping to create a portal there, but... nothing happened. It wouldn't hold.

-----

After much time later and much experimenting, Byrne finally figued out that the portals only worked on those white surfaces. Okay. Sure. But how was that going to help him get the cube?

----

After a lot more time later, Byrne figured out that the weird blue tunnel of light functioned as a transportation. And that he could use that with the portals to bring the cube to him. So, voila, he did it. he brought the cube to himself, and shot a portal through the hole in the glass that guarded the button.

FINALLY. FINALLY HE DID IT. IT TOOK A LONG TIME BUT HE DID IT-- Wait. That button didn't open the door? WHAT THE HELL? All it did was spew some orange gel onto the floor.

Byrne wanted to find this AI and strangle him.

-----



Okay. Byrne figured out that the orange gel made you slide. He figured out how to use the light beam to carry the orange gel. He figured out how to move the cube to the other button to turn on the blue light tunnel.

So finally. FINALLY. He slid up the ramp, and...... into a bottomless pit. Shit. He forgot to add the blue light tunnel to carry him to another platform.

So, he fell. Down down down. He shot out his grapple, desperately hoping it would grab onto something, but it was too late. He was falling too quickly.

So this was it. His life was over. Ended because he woke up in some horribly high-tech test chamber. Because a malicious robot did this to him. He knew so little about robots, only knowing them in legend from the old Hyrule. But now he would die because of one.

So many thoughts. So many wishes. He should have apologized. To Zelda. To Anjean. To Nabooru. To everyone. He should have killed Ganondorf and saved her, despite her protests. He fell, wordlessly, without a scream, his last thoughts resting on those he had wronged. So many people. Hell would await him.