What: Biology class
Who: Adam Malkovich and anyone joining the class
Where: Biology classroom
When: Monday, October 3rd
Warnings: None right now

( Riiiiight under the cut )

(OOC: I don't feel like scribbling shit on openCanvas. Sorry guys I was out today and I feel lazy as hell. Just use your imagination.)

As promised, I will continue my explanation of the Grub-Dog family from last lecture. Oh how I wish the entire school year could go on like this...to get paid to talk about things like this. Though I don't think I can finish today, I'll get on to the Bulblax subspecies next time.

*Olimar draws a rough outline of an Orange Bulborb...or tries to, it's a little faded out*
Oh dear, looks like this marker died out as well. Hmmph...Well anyways...This is an Oculus kageyamii orangium, or simply the Orange Bulborb. It shares many characteristics of your typical bulborb. Its large eyes are quite bloodshot, as they are naturally more aggressive and high strung then other bulborbs. They're very sensitive and easy to wake up when sleeping in the day. Again, learned THAT the hard way...

Well I believe I should cover another subspecies that isn't a Bulborb but perhaps...

*He sketches a Spotty Bulbear, this time with a different marker*
Spotty Bulbears, Oculus terribilis dotticum, may look like Bulborbs but as you can see here they are much different in skeletal structure and appearance. Note how the bulbears' mouth structure is nothing like that of a bulborb's. Just to make things more difficult! They sure can devour a lot of Pikmin at once... They are unique in the Grub-Dog species in that they have their less dedicated patrol paths and are not nocturnal like their cousin the bulborb. Now here's an interesting fact to take note of: when 'killed' by a Pikmin swarm they have the ability to revive given a long time to recover. So get that beast to the Onion as fast as possible, you'll regret it if you don't!...Oh oh sorry...rambling to myself again...

Now here's an interesting creature! *Draws a Water Dumple* These aquatic creatures actually have a skeleton near matching that of a bulborb! The Ichthyosa felinis, a Water Dumple. They live in freshwater pools and marshes though they can be lured onto land. If common theory on their evolution proves correct, they have only recently migrated to an aquatic habitat.

While merely a Red Bulborb infected, remember that parasitic Pikmin I talked about a few classes ago? They seem to love taking host of them, giving them the name Bulbmin. Parasiticus pikminicus, rather obvious WHY it's called that yes? Now this is the moment I've been waiting for really. For once I have managed to snag a Juvenile Bulbmin that managed to wander out of the underground caverns they live in. The parasite burrows its root-like limbs into the nervous system of the host bulborb and infusing it with natural hormonal excretion. The bulborb is fully controlled by it, though the host's appetite is completely impossible to suppress. In fact the Bulborb I captured I will probably need to release so it won't grow up to eat everyone overnight! I asked the science wing to kindly store it for me today so I can bring it out here to show you all! No need to worry, at this stage of its life it is completely harmless! It even acts like a Pikmin in everyway!

Errrm, I will be back in a short while. I need to go get it. Don't try to sneak out, this school has had enough trouble this week!

This isn't Zoology, however it seems going over some bits of it has been helping keep you all interested. We've already went over cells and DNA, might as well try to take today's session with more creature analyzes. Just be glad I haven't felt like getting into a lengthy technical lecture!

This will approximately take two classes to cover fully but I'm going to go over yet another fascinating species that those stuck up textbook writers refuse to mention in any Biology covering animals!

I would like to call this family the Grub-Dog family. Why? Well the "Grub" comes from their resemblance to grubs. The "Dog" came from the fact it looks like my dog... (<- OOC: It's true he has a dog according to one of his logs and that's where the name 'Bulborb' comes from, apparently it's name is Bulby. Why is beyond me.)

The most common of the Grub-Dog family would be Bulborbs. While all Bulborbs are Grub-Dogs not all Grub-Dogs are Bulborbs! I'm afraid all are far too big and dangerous to get a hold of, instead I'll just have to draw them. Sorry...

This would be probably THE most common Bulborb. The Oculus kageyamii russus!...or the Red Bulborb...Doesn't sound as impressive when put like that though...

Bare with me, the black marker for the white board is all out of ink and this red one's going to die on me almost anytime now...

ANYWAYS, the Red Bulborb shares many common traits of a Grub-Dog, from the bugged eyes to the abnormally large cranium. They are primarily nocturnal and prey on small animals returning to their nests, so they spend most of the day sleeping. However they will easily wake up anything they sense prey within a reasonable distance. If you haven't guessed already their main diet is sadly...Pikmin but alas, it's the all apart of the food chain. Also please take note that Dwarf Bulborbs are NOT offspring. Bulborb larvae look much different, having no patterns on their backs that usually make Grub-Dogs so distinct.

Pardon my questionable drawing skills. Art is not my major. (Though it's nice to brag and not have to be all "Well I'm no artist..." and reply on stick figures!)

The Oculus kageyamii folliculus, or Hairy Bulborb really isn't much different in behavior to that of a Red Bulborb. You can't tell by this drawing but unlike the Red Bulborb, they are white with blue spots. They are also covered in fur and adapt very well to colder climates. Their hair is very frail despite the ability to warm their internal organs. When they die they lose all their fur.


I want to cover one more Bulborb today but before I go on, are there any questions?

On an unrelated note, I brought in that red Pikmin you requested Yoshi, it's not the one from last class though that I had to take home...for some reason it just won't part paths. Quite peculiar...Well it's a red Pikmin and I'm sure you'll take good care of it!

As I had promised last class I have brought in the potted Pikmin to class. They're way easier to carry around when you're not almost only three feet.

*There are three pots on his desk, one contains a red Pikmin, the other a yellow and the last one a blue*

I couldn't bring in the purple or white types, sorry. They're an awful pain to grow in numbers if you ask me. Well anyways, they may look like plants but they're so much more than that!

(OOC: OLOLOL NO EFFORT IN SKETCH BELOW)


Note the ominous glow around the tip of the stem, this Pikmin has reach the flower stage. should get it out before it reverts back to leaf form again... Now WHY they glow in the ground or when dismissed from duty I still have yet to look into.

So...I guess before I go on any further everyone in here can observe them if they'd like. Just be careful and don't hurt them.

I need a break anyways so take as long as you'd like. How convenient for myself. I hope I don't look too exhausted. I was up all night again...

*For the first minute into class, Olimar is actually absent, to walk in when everyone else has already taken their seats, however something different; he's in gijinka form!*

...Part of me waits for a crude remark how I was late for once. I don't understand how showing up a minute or two behind does not effect a teacher as much as it does a student

*Awkward pause*

...Well moving on. Yes, it's me, Professor Olimar. You don't have a substitute today, I decided to give Mr. Powalski a visit just to see what things are like. (He's lying, there's a better reason why.)

*Sighs, perks up a little bit*

Before I start off with my agenda for today's class I would believe it's suitable to express any and all apologies for any unusual behavior for the past few weeks. I would also love to disprove all rumors I've heard but I am in no position to do so... Also pay no attention to the sudden change in appearence, I don't know what you all at staring at...Hmm...

*Looks at notes Samus has left to him on what happened last time* ...Okaaaaaay. What was Minch thinking bringing one of his experiments into my classroom!? While this subject is very controversial today and is always left out of text books. Or I cant' find it anywhere. Some written English still confuses me. The idea of a possible hybrid of flora and fauna seems very unlikely and impossible, unless say, Mr. Minch decides to put poor creatures under experiments. How cruel! *Reads more into last class session* ...Oh dear, I thought one point of Biology was to lightly cover zoology without cutting anything open!

Well I promise I will NEVER ask you to dissect anything, we'll be leaving that to Mr. Powalski. I'm sure observing cells and looking into what makes up DNA and all those fun subjects will be enough.

Anyways, on the subject of a possible theory of animal-plant hybrids. I would like to bring to the attention of some research of my own. Keep in mind this will not be tested on as it's still highly controversial among professional scientists and I can not teach unproved theories.

I guess I should abridge my findings to a High School level. That won't be too difficult. My original studies were fairly simple anyways. I was trying to survive! I didn't have time to elaborate!



These creatures are called Pikmin. I FINALLY got the name and species patented to be my discovery!

They are the most intriguing creatures this planet possibly has. Though I've seen some...rather odd beings in my time... From what I have studied of them it could be possible we may have a link connecting animals and plants. Now, much like animals, the Pikmin move about and interact like how any usual non solitary animal would. However these creatures grow from the ground! You all know of a plant's life cycle, yes? Well the Pikmin share many traits similar to that of a very very basic span of a plant as seen on the stems growing out of their heads. Their leaves eventually fall off and flowers bloom in place if left in the ground long enough. They even revert back to their original leaf stage after being left in the ground too long. I learned that the hard way!...

To tie in with their bizarre animal like behavior they can also grow by consuming nectar and are capable of eating on their own. They also are perfectly capable of killing any predators hunting for them as prey. They also sure can build bridges, collect ship pieces/treasure and clear down walls more easily than anything else!

On the subject of hunting and collecting, Pikmin reproduce asexually despite being far more complex in cells than any other organism that shares this trait. Their most common form of multiplying is carrying various dead organisms, whether they be pellets from flowers or dead animals, to a pod Pikmin reside in I named an Onion. Hmmph! They wanted me to rename it but it's all MY discovery and that's the name I gave it!

I could go on SO much further into Pikmin but I wouldn't want to waste the entire class rambling over my findings. However anyone who wishes to read into further detail are welcomed to read copies of my notes. Might have typos and mistakes here and there. It was horrible spending all those hours translating everything into English...

ANNYWAYS, I hope you all brought in your text books today, I really hate having to give out spare ones from this class to everyone who keeps forgetting.

...Now really what is with all the strange stares!?

Samus: *walking briskly down the hallway, ready to sub for Olimar's Biology class.* ... *pushes open the door to see Porky already setting up inside* ....W-What the hell are you doing here?!
Porky: Aaah~~ Were you just stalking me, Ms. Aran~? I know I'm just so charming, but please save it for later~ I have a class to teach~
Samus: D:< Like hell I'm letting you corrupt Ollie's kids, you fatass. *grump* GET OUT.
Porky: Ah? But Ollie asked ME to teach for him.'Sides, the little chill'uns won't learn anything from you. They'll be too busy staring at your body. ... Wait, they're gay...
Samus: *snort* Olimar asked me too, in case you've forgotten in that overinflated head of yours!
Porky: He did? Well, I'm not leaving. I already brought my cute chimeras for today's lesson. *points to the crate on a wagon Porky's pulling*
Samus: *stare* ...... =_= *grits teeth* Get. Out. I'm teaching today. Leave your pets at home, Porky.
Porky: Hey, why don't you get out!? I stayed up all night making up a fun lesson plan and this is my only chance!
Samus: *haughty grin* Oh, you stayed up all night for something I whipped out in only a few hours~~? You're pathetic. *waves him off* You're obviously not suited to teach this class.
Porky: Oh? Only a few hours, huh? Yeah, shows how much you care for your students. Heh. You're not as devoted a teacher I am, who is willing to give up his time all for the children~
Samus: Willing to inflate his own ego, you mean.
Porky: *bell rings* Well, it's about time and I'm not going to let you stop me from teaching.
Samus: ... *stares at crate and grumbles* I'm not leaving either. *pushes up glasses* Tough luck.
Porky: ...Oh, I've got an idea! Why don't we both teach for the day, eh? Kya, ha, ha! It'll be so much fun, us working side-by-side like this!
Samus: D8< ....
Porky: Well, I dunno about you, buuut... *walks into the class, wheeling in the chimera crate*
Samus: *growls loudly and stomps in the class* [Olimar you OWE ME BIG TIME FOR THIS.]



Porky: Afternoon' class! Today, I, Mr. Porky Minch, will be substituting for our dear midget teacher~ So, let's give him and his lovely assistant over there a round of applause~!
Samus: *whacks him upside the head*
Porky: Lovely and violent! Ow..
Samus: *crosses arms* Miss Aran and Porky over here are going to both be teaching Biology today... *grumbles* Apparently.
Porky: Kya, ha, hah! Olimar tells me you're learning about cells here. Very basic. Animal and Plant cells. So, to save some time, I brought this!*opens crate and pulls out a plant with pig heads* Pigtunias!



Samus:  ... :| ...*completely monotone, asks for the sake of the class* And just how is this Pigtunia mess made, Porky?

Pigtunias: *squeal*

Porky: It's a combination of pigs and petunias! Are you dense, woman? A combination of animal cells and plant cells! Today, we're going to dissect one, take a piece, and study the cells inside it!
Samus: *rolls eyes and grumbles under her breath* Where's Leon when you need him... *sets up microscopes and tools on the desks* [Although, I'm kind of curious to see what these Pigtunia cells look like myself...]
Porky: But they're alive and strong here. So, Samus, I'm glad you're here. Now I don't have to dirty my hands. Would you do the honors?
Samus: *sneering glare* What, scared of your own critters there, Porky?
Porky: No, I want to see what you can do with them! I see that you always carry a gun below your skirt. Use it.
Samus: *vein* >8| OK FINE LET ME WHIP IT OUT FIRST. *DROP KICKS HIM*
Porky: Yes, just do that to my chimera... Ow..
Samus: *has the gun in her hands* >:| ... *zaps the Pigtunias into submission* :|
Pigtunias: *squeal~! dedz*
Porky: Did it get any of its seeds on you, Samus?
Samus: No. :| *scootches farther away from the dead pigplants though*
Porky: Heh,heh, heh.. They grow fast, so... If you were carrying some... Heh, heh,heh..
Samus: *smacks him again* GET BACK TO THE LESSON PLAN!
Porky: Yes... So, take your knives and cut a slice of the Pigtunia. Afterwards, give us a simple two page analysis on what you saw. ... You could stop hitting me, Samus.
Samus: *looks away, pouting, with crossed arms and kicks him in the shin* Can't help it. Involuntary reflex.

Alright, the class has officially started so everyone please do sit in your assigned seats. Don't make me get out the whistle like last time, I am not the spineless easy professor that you think I am! Official grades are be going to be handed to all of you in the distant future. From what I've seen so far no one is failing this class as of now, and I know that no one would like to see that change.

This class is not that difficult so personally I am not one bit stunned. Animals and plants are all around us and every single one has a purpose in this life...whether if they directly effect nature or if they're trying to devour you and your army as your desperately attempt to fight for your life.

We're going to be having another test next week so to prepare all of you I have assigned each and every one of you to research a plant, animal or strange hybrid of the two so you can learn what family they come from, their habitats, their diet, behavior and line of evolution. After all it's what we've been learning about since day one so this should only be a warm up.

...Hmmm this morning one of the jars are missing again. It's the one with a preserved underdeveloped Bulborb larvae. That was one of my favorites too, I LOVE irony. This class is not as bad as Chemistry, who keeps breaking all the equipment in that class anyways?! That comes straight out of my wallet you know!