smash_logs | Pokemon! Genie! Kanto? It's a thing that's happening!

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Pokemon! Genie! Kanto? It's a thing that's happening!

Who: Shantae and Sonny Moe!
What: Kanto Adventures!
Where: Kanto! You know! The place where everyone wants to be the very best like no-one ever was!
When: Mid June
Warnings: Pokémon Battle Shenanigans
Music: You know which music you need to listen to.

The train ride from FDC was always pretty pleasant. The scenery was nice and it was a fairly long ride which allowed time for both gazing out the window at things flying by and also napping. Sonny, of course, insisted it was his treat whenever the snack trolley rolled past. The snack lady on the train had never made so much in one shift before...

...anyway. Kanto in Summertime is a wonderful place. The sun is shining, the Pidgey are Shin--er, singing, the Rattata are looking at their masses of squabbling children and regretting each and every life choice that led them to this moment. Today, they are joined by a portly, young, blue haired gentleman and his beautiful purple haired companion who just so happens to be a Genie.

"So! This is Pallet!" he said, turning to her and grinning. "I know it doesn't look like much, but it's a great place!"

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"Alright!"

....huh. They were changing clothes. In the same room.

Doki doki

Well, he was just going to put the Rocket Pants (That sounds way more epic than it actually is.) on over his khaki shorts. But he did remove his blue collared shirt to just put the Rocket shirt (Again: Less awesome than it sounds.) on over his grey undershirt.

Finish off the ensemble with a Rocket Beret set at a jaunty angle.

"Let me know when I could turn around!" He said.

Shantae didn't have time for this doki doki nonsense. Not when there were bad guys to crush! Just ignore the sound of rustling clothes, as she couldn't exactly put the Rocket uniform on over her harem pants. "Jeez, could this skirt get any shorter?" Shantae asked. When she was finally done, she said, "Well, how do I look?"

She wore a Rocket grunt uniform, complete with short skirt and thigh high boots, and a beret, hand on her hip.

Sonny turned to look and felt his mouth go a little dry.

Well. He'd never really appreciated how... uh... interesting the Rocket uniform could be when it was covering someone who's heart was black and bent on world domination. Now that it was on a far more noble person, he could appreciate its... unique look.

"It fits you really well!" he said after a small hesitation. "What about mine? I think it's a little tight in the arms and back side but other than that, it fits pretty well, right?"

His bootylicious back end was shown off to great effect in the tight black pants. At least the top was a little looser fitting. Except for the fabric being asked to contain Max's pride and joy - Sonny's biceps.

"Thanks, Sonny," she said, tugging at the miniskirt a bit. "Just wish this thing was a little longer... First kick I throw, I'm gonna end up flashing people," she mused.

Did Sonny notice she was wearing black panties? If not, he might have noticed now.

"The jacket might have been a little looser for you, but it's doing the job," she said, nodding. "You know, I never noticed you've got great arms there," she added.

"Ready to kick some butt?"

"Don't worry! I'm sure they'll be too distracted by the boot landing in their face to look at anything else!" Sonny relied helpfully.

Oh man.

She thought he had great arms.

"Thanks! I work pretty hard on my arms in the weight room! I'd flex them so you could see better but I think I'd probably rip the jacket."

And this wasn't even boasting. He looked sort of nervous at the idea of ruining his disguise - who knew if there were any more jackets this size?

"I'm ready to kick some butts and take some names!"

"Oh man. You should totally do that," she said. "Just flex and bust out of that jacket when we reveal ourselves. Totally psych them out."

"Oh yeah! Hey! I'll do it!" said Sonny. He'd flexed out of shirts before, though, only usually when Max was around. The Max Power upgrade to his physique helped. But this jacket was tighter than he usually wore. Should be easy.

"Then let's get back to the deck, they'll probably be here any minute," Shantae said, grabbing up their things and stuffing them into a messenger bag that she slung over her shoulder as they left the locker room. If there were any more Rockets here, surely their disguises would get them past.

"You're right! Let's go!"

Sonny followed her to the stairwell and then started following her up. Then, had to avert his eyes in a gentlemanly manner so he didn't accidentally see anything he wasn't supposed to see on his way up, considering that skirt was going to be at roughly eye level.

The day had warmed up quite a bit and Wingull calls were on the breeze. You'd never know that on a nice day like this, terrible deeds could be afoot. Sonny hoped that they wouldn't have to wait long for the Rockets and their cargo to arrive.

Shantae leaned against a wall, arms crossed and tapping a foot. Where the heck were these guys? Did they get here that far in advance?

A sudden sound jostled her from her daze, and down at the ramp, a truck skidded to a stop. "This must be it," Shantae said. "Get ready for anything."

"It probably is them! I'll be ready - just try and look... I don't know? Like, evil and stuff."

He put on a scowl and watched black suited men pile out of the truck. There was one guy with a lab coat on, holding two briefcases.

"This is the boat which will take us to Unova! Where these babies will net us a fortune.. hee hee heeeeeh!" sneered the driver.

"Yes. Very good. You there! Grunts! Have preparations been made to disembark?"

"Yeah!" Sonny Called, keeping his voice as gruff as possible. "We've been ready for a while!"

"Grunt Female - have you made the call to our colleagues in the Sevii Islands so they know to get our supplies ready? I don't want to miss out on restocking our food because you grunts are too dumb to know how to use a phone!" came another voice. This guy was the last one to pile out of the truck. He was big, buff and burly. Any fighting dojo would have been glad to have this guy in there, training Machamps and Hitmon-anythings.

Her eyebrow twitched. "Aye, sir," she responded, saluting, despite how badly she wanted to crack her whip on him right there. She whispered to Sonny, "As soon as all the cargo is out of the truck, we strike."

"I bet it's the guy holding the briefcases. I bet those are them." Sonny whispered back.

"Stop chatting!" roared Rocket McMuscles. "You can socialize on your own time!"

"Sir yes sir!" Sonny replied, saluting the man and watching the guy with the briefcases walk clear of the truck.

"Now?" he asked Shantae out of the corner of his mouth.

"Wait for it," she whispered. When the man with the briefcases stepped on board...

"Now!"

"OK!" Sonny replied, turning to face the Rockets as they climbed on board.

"Sorry! But your trip has been cancelled! HNGH!"

He hunched over and flexed every muscle under every layer of insulation that his massive torso possessed. The R stretched and then tore in a glorious display of shredded fabric. It hung from his body in tatters.

He was keeping the beret, though.

"Hand over the baby Pokémon and no-one gets hurt!"

Shantae didn't say anything, but that was actually really cool. She responded by throwing off the beret she wore, grinning triumphantly. "Go ahead and give me a reason to kick all your butts," she warned. "Your plan ends here!"

Sonny grinned at her. That was all SO BADASS!

The burly guy watched them and said nothing. Sonny took the opportunity to run over and drop the gang-plank into the ocean. "Now you can't escape, either! Hand over the cases with the Pokémon in them and we'll leave you be!"

"Poor, foolish little Rattata." the huge Rocket said, no hint of pity in his voice at all. "You haven't trapped me on this ship with you. You've trapped yourselves on this ship with me!"

And that was when, instead of unleashing a Pokémon, he lunged forward and punched Sonny Moe in the face.

Sonny hadn't been expecting that.

"Hey!" Shantae shouted.

Well. So much for the Kanto rules of engagement.

Sorry, Sonny, it was time for an ass kicking HER way.

"You're gonna regret getting stuck here with me," she warned him, raising her head and cracking her ponytail right at the big guy's back.

The huge Rocket wasn't expecting the attack and stumbled forward.

Sonny, nursing a bloody nose, got to his feet. "Hey! You're supposed to bring out a Pokémon! Not punch me!"

"You fool!" Surly McMusclelump laughed, taking off his own Rocket beret to reveal three parallel Mohawks. "I AM a Pokémon!"

His own shirt started to ripple, then exploded outward revealing an additional set of arms.

"A Humanized Machamp! Now, get ready to deal with some real pain!"

Sonny looked at Shantae, kind of flabbergasted. WELL. This was unexpected!

Shantae was surprised. But only for a moment, before a different emotion overtook her.

Excitement.

"Finally! Someone I can just beat up without having to follow these stupid battle rules!" she declared, cracking her knuckles. "You're in for a world of hurt, buddy!"

Sonny hadn't been expecting this guy to be a fellow Pokémon - a Pokémon working WITH Team Rocket!? Unthinkable! Well, unless this guy had a trainer... That MUST be it.

"Hey! Machamp guy?" Sonny said, extending his hands out in a gesture of peace. "Take it easy? Look, I know that your trainer must be making you do this? But it's OK! You really don't have to! My friend and I can save you, OK? You can come back with us and--"

While Sonny was talking, the Machamp grabbed him with two hands and started wiling on him with the others.

"I have no trainer! I'm the future of this organization! SAVE me? You wretched little Muk! Concentrate on saving yourself!"

Shantae, on the other hand, wasn't all that interested in making peace. No, she was more interested in kicking butt and saving baby Pokemon.

To that end, she took another mighty crack of her hair whip at the big guy. "Okay, you want a fight, you've got it! Sonny, what type is he, and what's he weak to?"

Sonny spat blood on the deck and turned his head to face her as best as he could.

"He's a Machamp which is a fighting type! Weak to flying and psychic type attacks!"

"Shut UP!" the Machampman roared, slamming a fist into Sonny's gut.

The Snorlax wheezed "I'm a Normal type. His attacks are super effective against me. But I bet he's being made to do this? Pokémon wouldn't willingly become Rockets!"

"You know nothing of our plans! What we've become!" The Rocket replied, flinging Sonny across the deck. "But you'll know soon! You'll ALL know!"

The Snorlax came to rest against the side of the boat. Despite being pretty handily punched up and thrown about, he didn't look too badly off. His eye would probably blacken up a bit and that nose was smooshed. But he hadn't lost any teeth and his jaw wasn't broken, so, he was OK. He could still eat.

"How does that hair hurt so much!?" their assailant roared, turning to face Shantae and crack knuckles that were reddened by Sonny's nose exploding. "I'll rip it out if you hit me with it again!"

"Fine by me!" Shantae said, backstepping. "I owe you some payback for hurting Sonny there! Weak to flying, huh? Let's test that!"

She started to dance, and shifted into Harpy form, flapping her wings to get over him. She was gonna enjoy beating him up...

The Machamp was amazed into silence for a moment.

Sonny struggled to his feet and looked up to see Shantae looking Extremely Badass.

"....Grunts! Change of plan!" the Machamp guy roared. "Capture her! Her shape-changing abilities will help us expand our knowledge of Humanization! One Million Pokéyen to the Grunt who nabs her!"

So far as the Snorlax cared, this would not stand.

"Hey! Don't even try it - your Pokéballs won't work on her anyway and besides! I'm a Humanized Pokémon too! And I'm way better at it than you are!" He pointed at the Machamp who turned to look him over. "That's right! I'm a Snorlax! My name is Sonny Moe and my Trainer's name is Red! Maybe you've heard of him?"

If Shantae wanted an opening to drop a harpyload of whup-ass on any one of their enemies, that was it, because every Rocket on deck turned to stare at the bloody face and busted nose behind that proclamation. Red. The most hated name in all Rocket History, destined to go down in infamy as the boy who stole Giovanni from them.

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