smash_logs | merry merry christmas, and I want you to know

Entry tags:

merry merry christmas, and I want you to know

Who: YOU
What: KISSLETOES
When: December 14th - January 1st
Where: Everywhere
Warnings: Sloppy makeouts.

SUDDENLY, AND WITHOUT WARNING...

title or description

The entire school has become covered in mistletoe overnight. It grows out of the walls! The ceilings! Everywhere you least expect it? HOW CAN THIS BE??

It's probably best not to think about it. Attempts to uproot the plants or burn them away only makes the plants grow back faster. For the time being, it seems the school must live with it.

[OOC INSTRUCTIONS:
+ Post dudes, get kisses!
+ Some (NOT ALL) plants are cursed. If you manage to step under a cursed plant, you will exchange a memory when or if you exchange a kiss. The memories will be first-person and very vivid, and characters will feel like they are experiencing the memory in real time, though in reality the transfer is instantaneous. Memories can be as short, long, happy, sad, or traumatic as you like.
+ If you'd like to participate, we highly suggest making a list of a few memories (with accompanying links/descriptions) that are up for grabs, and linking or posting the list in your top-level comment. Memory exchange is COMPLETELY OPTIONAL. When in doubt, OOC communication!
+ PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE TAG YOUR CHARACTERS
+ That's it, we love you.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

((Let's have some complicated Felicia feelings.))

When it happened, it was like a jolt shooting through her. And not because of the kiss. She could feel things... Memories she had never known before. And she quickly realized that they weren't hers. They were his. And while that happened, Jon started to get a flash of her past too.

The sky was an unnatural shade of gold, black and purple as the dimensional rifts started to close. Eggman and Eggman Nega had been defeated, forced back to their respective worlds. And as the Chaos Emeralds and the Sol Emeralds worked their magic to undo the damage the scientists had caused, Blaze, in her glowing Burning Blaze form, hovered in the sky facing down the first person who she ever thought of as an equal. Sonic the Hedgehog, in his Super Sonic form. He'd shown her that she didn't have to deal with this by herself, that it was okay to count on others. And now... Now she had to say goodbye to one of the first real friends she ever had.

"This is it," Sonic said to her.

"...Yes, it is," Blaze answered hesitantly.

"Everything will go back to normal."

"...I've got to return to my world as well," Blaze added, looking away from him. "The Chaos and Sol Emeralds can not exist in the same world. It would cause another crisis."

The happy-go-lucky look on Sonic's face began to fade somewhat, as Blaze's words began to process in his mind. "I guess it's time to say... goodbye," he said as the realization started to hit him. Seeming desperate for something to say in this situation, he told her, "Cream will really miss you."

Blaze couldn't help a small laugh at that. She knew she would miss the rabbit as well, and regretted she couldn't say goodbye in person... "...I have no choice," she finally said, acceptance the only reaction she could muster in the face of this moment.

"No words from you?" Sonic asked her, crossing his arms.

"It's better this way," Blaze answered. "I first came here as a stranger out of nowhere. I think it's appropriate that I leave the same way." Finally having the nerve to look him in the eye again, she added, "Sonic... Thank you for your help. ...Bye."

She was about to turn away from him, when his voice stopped her. "Wait," he called out. When Blaze looked back at him, her cheeks flushed. He smiled for her. "This is from me," he said confidently, as he promised, "I'll see you again!"

The look on his face became contagious, and she could feel a small smile tug at her cheeks. And for a few moments, she actually believed it was possible... "Yes... Again..."

She floated closer to him, prompting him to do the same. Hesitantly, with red cheeks, she raised her hand for him to take. Sonic looked down at it, then back up to her, and without hesitation he reached out to grab it himself, squeezing her hand tightly. As he did, the world around them began to turn white. It was starting... They'd be sent back to their own worlds soon. A force began pulling at them from opposite directions. Still they held on tight, neither wanting to let go, but both feeling it was inevitable. Sonic reached his other hand out to grab Blaze's, refusing to let go until the force became too strong, and their hands slipped from each other. Blaze tried to grab at Sonic's again, but everything began to fade to white...

And as he was living her memory, one of his own unraveled for her...

...he was laying on his back and she was pinning him underneath her. Felicia. All white fur and wild blue hair and curves. Soft and warm. The floor was cold and hard by comparison. Wooden. It was the Dojo at Capcom High and they had been training their martial arts skills. How had it wound up like this? He was blushing intensely under his thick fur coat, his tail flopping side to side restlessly as he tried to keep his mind safely away from anything too risqué. It was... safer that way.

She made it infinitely harder by leaning down and pecking him on the nose.

"What... what was that, then?"

She giggled in response. "Testing to see if your snout really is as sensitive as you say!"

He admitted it was. Always had been. He was flustered beyond the pale. He'd always had a pretty keen interest in her and she'd never been anything but kind to him. But how far did it extend?

"You don't seem to mind!" she said.

"...I'm not sure. You seem to be having a laugh, at least."

She smiled and admitted she was. Then she seemed to realize what this might look like. "Um... Do you want me to get off...?"

....double entendre aside, Jon wasn't sure. "Yes." he said. "...No? Yes. No... I don't know." he replied, each response heralded by an indecisive flick of his tail making a slapping noise against the hard floor of the dojo. "...You can stay so long as you're enjoying yourself." he finished in the end.

She stayed, of course, and the affections grew to be more than a peck on the snout.

"Do you mind...?" she asked sheepishly.

"One second we're smacking the snot out of each other and next you're ...doing... that." he said, quirking an eyebrow. "You... mind if I ask you why?"

"I really don't know. The cat in me has a lot more control sometimes than I like... It's the part of me that doesn't want to listen when I tell it not to do something..."

Fair enough, Jon reasoned. He had the same issues, after all.

"We've gotten really close since arriving here," she said. "I'm closer to you than I have been to anyone in a really long time. Closer to any man than I've EVER been. I think... I'd be lying if I said there was NOTHING there besides friendship," she said. Then she looked away. "You probably think that's weird, huh?"

He frowned deeply. She liked him as more than a friend? Between eating together every day, spending time running around the school, exploring and just spending time, Jon had noticed that they were becoming very good friends. And if he was honest, he felt very deeply for her. Certainly more than friendly feelings.

Something nagged at him, though.

"Felicia... I don't think it's weird." he said quietly. "And I'm flattered. I..."

I feel the same way. And I didn't notice because I'm not used to being close to anyone. My own parents - or them who filled the role for so long - threw me away like so much rubbish when I was naught but a little boy and I've not cared for many since... two others, actually. And you. And I'd jump in front of a hundred shots from a hundred arm cannons if I thought I had to, to keep you safe. Just watching a film with you was like all the Christmasses I ever missed out on showed up all at once and you make me smile and even LAUGH like I've not done since I was a child...

"... I... I... umm..."

She just leaned in closer, waiting for him to speak.

But how could he? Yes, he cared for her. Very much. But...

I don't understand why I just can't say it. What the bloody hell is wrong with me?

But he knew. Or, at least, thought he knew.

"...You make a lot of folk happy." he said, his voice quiet, lacking most of the roughness it usually possessed. "I don't. You're meant to make people smile. You do it so easily... and I'm the big bad wolf that blows in the straw and stick houses to eat the little pigs. How are you ever going to get to do anything that you could be doing to make the world a better place if you've got me stuck in your shadow?"

"Is it such a bad thing that I want to make your world a better place too?"

His heart broke a little to hear her say it.

"You do. More than anyone ever has. But..."

How could he rationalize holding her back? How could he be so selfish as to thwart her dreams with his mere presence? He wasn't meant to make lives better. He was a Darkstalker. A Monster. A foul thing. She was something else. Something wonderful.

She took his chin in her hand and tilted his head back so he had no choice but to look at her.

"Most people can't stand catgirls," she informed him. "Even if we haven't done anything wrong, humans hate and fear us. But not you. You're one of the few people I've met who is glad to look past how I look and like me for who I am. You're a far better person than you give yourself credit," she assured him. "You've been through so much pain in your life, but every once in a while you smile at me... And you have no idea how happy that makes me."

His heart twisted in his chest. All he wanted to do was take her love and give it back to her as best as he was able. He was still learning, certainly, but he'd try. If she wished it of him, he'd try. He just didn't see it ending well.

"...alright then." he said, relenting. "We can give it a shot and see what happens... if you'd like that."

He knew it probably wasn't the grand, open armed acceptance she probably would have been happier with. But it was all he could offer right now. Maybe one day he'd be warmer and more open, and maybe this was even the first step in that long road. But for now, she seemed willing to settle for him as he was and while he was so grateful he couldn't even describe it in thought let alone speech, he just hoped it was enough.

How awkward, she thought. They kissed each other, and suddenly started to think about other people. She wondered if Jon knew about Sonic already, but she'd never seen the other cat girl in his life.

"...Who's Felicia?" she asked.

Jon had known Sonic for a while. Not the version currently attending, but his previous incarnation. They had met during football games and had shared stories about their respective Lady-Loves during Sonic and Company's raid on CapHigh's grounds, trying to reclaim a mascot that CapHigh had never stolen in the first place.

So... yes. He knew Sonic. He'd never seen him in that light, though. Seeing the way Blaze looked at him, through her own eyes...

"Oh. Ah. Felicia is... well. If you'll recall, I have mentioned her to you before. That one evening we were locked into the Library. The girl who I left at Capcom High. I... ah... Yes."

He shrugged, looking awkward and a little ashamed.

It was such an awkward moment. She had no idea what he had to be thinking about her now, after seeing such a personal moment for her. And to see something so personal for him...

Her instinct was to get more information from him. To try and make sense of what she saw. "If you don't mind my asking... Why did you leave her? She seemed so nice..."

"....it wasn't her." he replied. "As disgustingly cliché as this sounds, it was Me. It was.... My insecurity and personal bias that kept me from being what she needed. Or at least, what I believe she needed. She... She's a unique talent. She can sing and dance like you've never seen. She's a heart so large it has room for almost anyone she meets. I... I believe that she might one day realize her dream of helping to bridge her world - Our world - with that of Humans. To help Darkstalkers of all sorts finally find a place outside the shadows. And if not all of us, her own kind, certainly. Cat Girls are the most Human of all of us. Helping them carve a proper niche inside civilized society...."

He shrugged and looked away.

"She's no need of a fellow like me at her back. And I'm not saying that to be self pitying or to play out some strange martyrdom complex. She has a legitimate chance at making our world into a better, more accepting place. Once a month I need to be away from everyone just to prevent myself hurting folk. Potentially killing folk.... it's not a good look for a budding actress and ambassador."

At first, Jon's answer sounded reasonable. Perhaps even noble. But she felt his memory first-hand. She understood, perhaps better than anyone else. She looked the wolfman in the eye now, confronting him with the insight she had gleaned from his memory.

"You still love her, don't you?"

"..."

He wanted to deny it. Mostly on principle. He was a man who was able to make his own decisions! Make a clean break when he had to and do so without regrets. Hell, he'd spent his adolescent years going from place to place simply because he couldn't afford to form attachments. He'd never been good at dealing with people and though he'd gotten better at this school....

But he couldn't lie to her. For starters, it would do no good because she'd seen what he'd felt in those moments. He might as well deny his fur was blue. Secondly... well. He cared for her too and she didn't deserve to be lied to. Thirdly, Felicia deserved more than to have her memory tossed aside. She'd meant so much more to him than that.

"I still.... Look. Yes. So far as I'm aware, when you really love someone, that feeling doesn't necessarily go away simply because things change. She was the first girl I ever loved. The first person who ever loved me unconditionally - I didn't even get that much from my adoptive parents. That's not something that can just be set aside."

"I'm not judging you," she told him in response to his admission. "I know about pushing away what you want."

Blaze turned away from him, arms crossed against the cold. Her own feelings were swimming, mixed up and jumbled. She didn't know what to think anymore. "Do you ever hear from her?" she asked, legitimately curious. She sounded like an important person to him. To just cut someone out of your life like that... it was a difficult thought.

"Every so often." Jon replied. "I'm not particularly good at keeping up long distance correspondence - I never know what to write."

Because using a telephone would just be entirely too easy.

"I told her about meeting Riwane. Becoming a trainer. A few of our adventures abroad. That I've become a teacher, of all things. That I'm doing well and have... ah. That I have friends. That I've learned to be more sociable outside of Football and have something approaching normal relationships with people. That I'm... well. That I'm getting better, I suppose is an apt way to put it."

She nodded as she listened. It was good that he made the effort. But still...

"I have so few people in my life that I'd truly call friend," she admitted. "I've had to say goodbye to them so many times though..." He knew that well enough. He saw her memory of saying goodbye to Sonic. "It's a terrible feeling, to know you may never see them again..."

"It is..."

He paused and placed a hand on her shoulder.

"You know, I... ah... Should it ever be that we need to say Goodbye... It would be particularly difficult for me. Just so you're aware."

"Yes, well..." She looked back up at him. "The feeling is mutual. You've been a very good friend."

"As have you."

Well, what else was there to say? He.... couldn't think of much of anything. Though, he had no great desire to part from her just yet. Such was the strain of being an awkward, generally unsociable canine.

Blaze was equally at a loss for something to say. But that didn't stop her from just enjoying his company there in silence. She was good at silence too.

At least it was a moderately comfortable silence. It wasn't laden with tension. A little awkwardness, yes. But nothing that twisted the gut into knots.

Though, finally, he had to speak, giving voice to an earlier thought.

"...one day, I'd very much like it if we could kiss just because we wanted to. As opposed to it being due to cursed mistletoe or little cupid robots."

A little brash, maybe. But it was honest, at least.

She hadn't expected him to say that, and the surprise on her face said it all. She looked back up at him, face red as she thought about the implications of what he suggested. "Ah... That would... That would be nice, yes," she finally said.

The look of shock on her face, at first, made his heart sink. He wasn't good with this stuff and never had been and probably never would be. Though, she followed it up by saying it would be nice. So. That was something.

"Not that I'd.... well. You know. If the idea isn't your cup of tea, I'd understand."

Blaze hated feeling so confused, so out of control of her own emotions. For someone for whom romantic attachment seemed like something only other people would experience, here she was, with a frankly gorgeous wolf man basically asking her to kiss him. And if she were being honest with herself... she wanted to. It was a hard thing for her to admit to herself, the idea that she was so attracted to him, man and beast both. He was stoic, but patient. He cared about her far more than she ever expected him to. But didn't he have that Charizard girl? And then there was Felicia, whose memory Blaze had just been privy to. If she did give in, was there any future when his heart was so divided?

Not to mention her own? Her thoughts drifted to Sonic. Her first friend. And truthfully, her first love. She had fallen for him. Although admitting it to anyone wouldn't happen any time soon. And of course she had no idea how he really felt about her, as his nature wouldn't have allowed him to show it. And now that he had come back into her life like this, he occupied her thoughts more and more. But was there any future there either...? Her duties were to her kingdom. Whatever dalliances she had in Final Destination City couldn't last when she returned home and had to leave them behind, and that was true for both Sonic and Jon.

She hated this. She hated feeling like whatever decision she made it would be like betraying at least one of them. And that would hurt her just as badly as them. And the thought gnawed at her.

"That's not it," she finally told him, getting over the initial shock of it. She struggled to find something, anything to say to him, but couldn't stop kicking herself over it.

"Alright." Jon replied, scratching at his chin with a handful of long claws. It really seemed as though something was on her mind. And he'd like to know what it was. Maybe help clear things up for her, if he was able.

He sat down, right there, assuming a lotus position. Hey, if they were going to be here for a bit, might as well be comfortable. And it didn't seem like either of them was in a hurry to leave.

"You know, you can talk to me, Blaze." he said quietly. "I am, if nothing else, a good listener."

"I know you are, and I appreciate it, I really do," Blaze told him, arms crossed and shaking her head. "It's fine, really. I don't need to talk about anything," she tried to convince him. How could she discuss something like this with him, when he was part of the problem in the first place? She had to sort things out...

"...you say that." Jon replied. "But I can't help thinking it's not the whole story."

He sighed and shrugged, just slightly, careful to look her in the eye.

"I'm sorry if what I said upset you. I've never been particularly good with.... emotions and the like. Even with experience, I seem to fall flat more often than I shine. If I was too forward or made you feel uncomfortable, then please, you've my most sincere apologies."

He bowed in her direction. He really did mean it, of course - the last thing he wanted to do was make her feel bad.

"It's not that at all, I promise," she told him, immediately on the defensive. He did nothing wrong, and making him feel bad for what was her own problem was something she didn't intend on. This was getting her nowhere. And looking down at him... She finally resolved to say something. This had to be put out there.

She sat across from him. "If you really want to know, then fine. I'll tell you. But promise me you won't say anything until I'm finished, deal?"

"Absolutely." Jon replied, drawing two claws around his muzzle to imitate zipping it shut.

She took a few deep breaths to work up the courage to say what she had to say. She and Jon had danced around the issue long enough. It was time to get it all into the open...

"I think it's fairly plain to say... you have feelings for me. And, well... I have feelings for you too. Though I suppose that's also fairly obvious... I think you're a wonderful man. You've been nothing but kind and patient, and I appreciate it so much."

"But... You're not the only person I have feelings for. That memory you saw... Sonic... He means so much to me. He's the first friend I've ever had. And... the first person I ever... loved." She looked him square in the eye. "I've never told that to anyone before. Anyone. Not even him. I have no idea if he even feels the same..."

She shook her head, forcing herself to continue even as her heart raced in nervousness. "It's not fair to you for me to keep that from you. I don't want to hurt you or anyone. But if I chose... I'm sure I'd hurt someone. And, well... I know you have feelings for other girls too. Felicia, Riwane... I don't know that it's fair to them either."

"I don't even know what I'm trying to say anymore... I just... don't want to give you any misconceptions about where my feelings lie."

Her silence afterwards gave him permission to speak again, even though her stomach was wound into tight knots at the thought of what might happen next.

merry merry christmas, and I want you to know

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MY EMOTIONS orz

FEEL YOUR FEELINGS IT'S OK

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Shortest tag. XD

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