So You Think You're Turning Into a Chayzard: An Instructive Guide for Proper Living as a Burn Lizard

[tank_rockarms]

Who: Max and... probably some other charizards
What: Max is turning into some sort of fireman lizard
Where: Max's Forge and Sundry Other Locations
When: June 29th and beyond
Warnings: Swears. Lots of swears. Violence. Some (Lots of?) violence.

Persons wishing to interact with one (1) Maxizard are welcome to do so once he's finished blossoming into a new man.

Other Persons Turning Into Chayzards Are Welcome To Use This Post As Well. We'll get together a regular Conflagration of Charizards (Is that the collective noun? It seems as if it should be.).

Comments

June 29th - Max's Forge

[tank_rockarms]

Max had had a serious case of heartburn ever since the previous afternoon. It was probably something he'd eaten, but he couldn't figure out what it was. No amount of video-game-based-pun TUMS would quell the feeling. He'd taken Vinnie out that morning for their daily constitutional, and usually after that, Max would go in for breakfast, but this heartburn was keeping him from wanting to eat anything. He didn't want to hit the weight room up again so soon, but he needed something to do, so he'd gone to his forge to do something useful with his hands.

Strange parts of his face, his ears and his chest were also feeling itchy. He couldn't figure out what it was. There wasn't a rash, it was just... itchy. And a strange stiffness in his shoulders and his glutes. He thought that the morning's swim would have loosened him up, but it had somehow only made it worse.

He was making a chain for no other purpose than to make a chain, to give him something to do to try to get his attention off of everything bothering him. He hated going in to see the school nurse; that guy was pretty much two inches away from the grave and probably had consumption, or something nobody else had died of for at least a century.

There was a sudden, excruciating bout of pain in his back and shoulders. It reminded him of that time when he was in Bulba's body and he spent hours trying to make vine whips happen, and then finally did, by breaking through the skin of Bulba's shoulders. His face, too, felt like several shades of awful.

He reached up and touched his face with his begloved workin' man's calloused hands. Even through the gloves, he felt bumps of something poking out of his face that hadn't been there a minute ago. He dropped his hammer, and yanked the glove off of his hand, and touched his face. They were little pieces of metal in his chin and his eyebrows, and his ears felt... longer? Somehow? He suddenly wished that he'd learned how to make mirrors.

He looked down to his bare arms and on his right bicep noticed black spots developing. In sort of a band, but not really, because there were spaces between... It was more like the sort of a tattoo a douchebag would get, developing on his arm.

"Shit," said Max, who had just put two and two together. "I think I'm turnin' back into a charizard."

[needsmorebiceps]

Vinnie wasn't there. Maybe that was good. Maybe that was bad. What he needed was somebody to go get him some pants that would allow for a tail. Parakarry had helped him make some the last time this happened. But would Max make it back to his room before that happened? It was hard enough to find pants in his size, he really didn't want to ruin a pair if he didn't have to.

"Only one thing to do," Max said to himself. Max was a Man of Action. When a problem presented itself, Max took it into his own hands to resolve it. So, Max undid his belt, and dropped his pants and boxers to the ground. But he realized that in his haste he'd forgotten to take his boots off, and there was no way his pants were getting over those. So, he sat down on a wooden chair, bare-assed (not one of Max's brighter ideas) to take his boots off, and then his lower clothing.

He was still wearing his leather apron and his tank top. The apron covered up his unmentionables, anyway. The tank top probably wasn't going to survive a pair of wings breaking out of his back, if that was going to happen. He could at least put his boots back on while he was waiting, though. And so he did.

He looked down at his arm. The douchebag tattoos had filled in pretty well by this point. It somehow didn't seem quite right that metallic piercings were appearing on his face, but he supposed they had to come from somewhere.

There was another wave of the intense pain across his shoulders and, dear reader, in his... lower back. "This is way less fun than the last time," Max said to nobody in particular.

He stood up off of his seat, because he was afraid that he was going to knock it over with the sudden appearance of a tail. Was there a tail yet? No. There wasn't. It must be coming in lat...

Another wave of pain rode on the heels of the previous bout, this one far more intense than the other two and Max, brave and valiant, yelled in pain.

[maxizard]

He must have passed out, at least momentarily, because when he opened his eyes, he was on the ground and... things felt decidedly different.

The heartburn was gone, for starters. It had been replaced with just regular burn.

And he was conscious of both tail and wings.

He stood up, slowly, from the dirt floor. He took a deep breath. He was aware, additionally, of the desire to want to knock the shit out of everything in the world, because he was a goddamned king of creation.

He'd spent years working through that feeling. He'd spent years working to tamp the impulse down in the man, so that if the beast ever came back, he'd be able to master it.

He was going to walk calmly back to the teacher's dorms, and find the pants that Parakarry had helped him make, and put them on. Until then... he'd just drape his wings down his back and hope that between that, the apron and his tail, he wouldn't be... too inappropriate for mixed company.

He grit his teeth, and, carrying his pants in the crook of one arm, walked down the volcano to make the trek over to the school. He couldn't drive his tank back in, as the tail prevented him from sitting down in the driver's seat, and he resisted the urge to fly in and terrify the shit out of everyone with the sudden appearance of the world's largest charizard, as he felt that would probably not be received well by Char, among several others.

((ANYONE WHO WISHES TO MEET HIM ON HIS WALK BACK TO CAMPUS MAY AT THIS POINT))

PHONECALL ON THE WAY BACK TO VINCENT

[maxizard]

Max took some time on his way back in to call Vincent's Cellular Teleradiophone.

The question, dear reader, was, would he pick up?

Ride of the Charizard

[worldrestored]

Naoki had fought a lot of pretty interesting things in the Vortex World. There was no way to deny it, that demonic side of him craved the challenge of fighting.

And what do you know, the giant dragon currently flying overhead did seem like a threat to the campus. Surely that was the perfect excuse as any to find out what it was.

Raising his hand into the air, he let out a small cry. A small flash of lightning and, the earth tore open, revealing Lord of Flies, towering over the humanoid half-demon. Without saying anything, he jumped on the demon and the giant wings buzzed in the air as they flew over to the dragon.

[maxizard]

Oh look, some kid riding a giant bug was flying at him.

Why was there some kid riding a giant bug flying at him?

Max didn't have time for this, and didn't want to have a fight that he didn't need to have. He had to be in control of this situation.

Maybe the kid was just coming up to talk. Even though Max couldn't talk to people. He continued to fly off toward his destination, trying not to take notice of what's his face.

[worldrestored]

Yes good idea, ignore the kid who was flyawa---

Oh wait no, now that giant fly's suddenly pretty much in his face, towering even the grandest of giant Charizards. And on top, a kid who's much smaller, with one hand on fire. At least he's not attacking yet, but he's certainly...watching him.

[maxizard]

Max has probably had enough of fighting every other charizard at school this week. Some random kid shows up with a hand on fire (good idea, using fire against a charizard, kid) riding on a giant, ugly bug.

Keep on watching him. Max is master of this situation. Riding on a giant ugly bug with a flaming hand or not, you're still a kid. And Max isn't going to fly off the handle and attack some kid he doesn't even know.

at some point later in the week

[firepunch]

There were too many Charizards. That was what Falcon had decided.

It would have been so much easier to oversee his supreme domain if he wasn't so concerned about the gaggle of smelly burnlizards that had up and decided they owned the place. He was going to have to make sure they knew that he meant business. Coexistence would be perfectly fine as long as they all respected boundaries.

That did not, however, mean he wasn't going to let them know he was there, in the form of a very

very

early morning

salute to the sun.

Every day.

Caw caw, mofos.

wut is wrong with you

[maxizard]

Why was there this hideous bird at the crack of dawn every morning. Didn't that bird know that there were people who needed to sleep? Max was awake at the break of dawn, of course, but he didn't go around waking everyone up. Someone needed to give that chicken-thing a stern talking to.

So, the largest charizard in the entire world takes off from the volcano to wherever the hell this chicken is.

you asked for this

[firepunch]

Falcon, being Falcon, had chosen the absolute highest vantage point he could possibly find, and had taken up residence atop the clocktower itself, because that was the best spot for making a lot of bird-noise at the sun.

The alternate meaning, of course, was come at me bro.

your face is about to ask for what's about to happen to it (a beatdown)

[maxizard]

Oh, the clock tower. How lovely.

The world's largest charizard lands on the roof of the school next to the clock tower and says in poketalk, "You know lots of people are still asleep at 5am, it ain't right to wake them all up like you do. You should knock that off and let folks sleep."

You tell him, Max.

Sometime over the weekend (June 29-30)

[voltecpower]

Thundering along on big stumpy legs was a dodongo of a fairly familiar shade of red, holding a white envelope in a pair of tiny hands, which didn't look at all like they truly belonged to the large, bulky beast. Neither did the expression on his scaly face, which was that of nervousness and apprehension, as though there was something he had to be afraid of. Well, there might be.

At the sight of Max coming up the road toward the school, the dodongo froze in his tracks, eyes wide, his jaw nearly dropping to the ground.

Re: Sometime over the weekend (June 29-30)

[maxizard]

CONGRATULATIONS you've chosen to meet up with mostly-naked-walking-back-to-campus-from-his-forge Max! Don't worry, he's wearing a leather apron.

And as Max was walking, carrying his pants in the crook of his arm, he saw the red dragon thing. It didn't look like a charizard, so that was good. He was aware of how those sorts of meetings tended to go. He really didn't want to have to beat the shit out of someone without pants on if he could help it.

"You got somethin' you need?" Max asked the awestruck creature.

[voltecpower]

Pulse straightened himself up the best he could, having to remain hunched over due to the weight of his head. At least Max didn't look like he was frightened of him. Then again, Pulse halfway expected that he wouldn't. He didn't actually consider the possibility that he would be one of those having suffered a transformation. Just how widespread was this thing, anyway?

And since Pulse was only used to seeing his affected friends having changed into something smaller than their normal dimensions, it certainly surprised him to see something larger than he was. But then... considering how it was Max, if he had anticipated him having changed into something, he probably would have imagined him as something fitting for his stature and build.

Still... that is a darn big Charizard.

"I-I'm sorry... Are you Mister, um, Max, sir?"

He wanted to make eye contact with Max, but some inner reptilian sense told him that it would possibly result in getting the stuffing beat out of him. Instead, he managed a polite bow.

[maxizard]

"Of course I'm Max," said Max. "Who else would it be with biceps like these?" Max asked, as he flexed his free bicep.

"Though I guess the wings and the ink probably make me look not like me."

Just a touch, Max. Just a touch.

"And look at me when you talk to me, don't look down like you think your feet are interestin' when they ain't." Being subjective is nice and all, but you can't experience the full glory of MAXIZARD'S POWER if you don't look him in the eye.

[rivalkidneypunch]

Char had not been expecting for Maxizard to ever be a thing that happened again. Char felt very much that Maxizard was not a thing that should ever have happened to begin with, so clearly the universe could not be so cruel as to inflict another week or so of Maxizard upon him. If he had known what to expect, he probably would have stuck to his usual lizardy form, in order to constantly be as wild and intimidating and battle-ready as he possibly could be.

Unfortunately, he was not. This fateful day would find him in human form, sitting on a human bench out on the campus green and reading some human's dry-ass academic publication on trends in selective breeding of starter Pokemon. A boring read for a boring day wherein nothing horrible would at all happen, clearly.

[maxizard]

Max had managed to get back to his room after meeting with that one guy, and found, in a drawer, a pair of pants that had a strange hole in the back, with a little snap button-setup that let him have a waistband in the back. How classy.

Max pretty much knew that he had to seek out Char, because letting him find this out on his own would only be worse than not confronting him with it straight out. Since he'd met that not-robot-robot-guy, Pulse, as a dragon, maybe there was something catching. Maybe Char had turned into something weird, but even if he had, Max knew he pretty much had to tell him about it.

Char wasn't in his room, but there was a... well. Particular air to a charizard, a scent of burning and hauteur, that Max figured would lead him to Char, eventually. Neither Sasha nor Riwane carried the same aura of superiority as Char did.

And so Max found Char sitting outside, his nose buried in a book by some modern-day Robert Bakewell.

"Hey, uh," Max said from his side. "You ain't gonna like this but you should probably look up from that book, because I've got a situation and we need to talk about it."

[rivalkidneypunch]

At the sound of Max's voice, Char's tail, carefully arranged into a position where it was safely away from both the grass and the bench itself, gave a sudden and violent twitch, as if desperately longing to slap itself against the ground.

"Fuck off, Max, I--"

The sentence abruptly strangled itself the second Char looked up from that horrifically uninteresting bit of scientific literature. Wings. Horns. A tail. A bunch of tacky-ass mid-2000 tattoos. A whole lot of orange. All things he thought he would never have to see stuck onto Max ever again. All things that were very definitely stuck onto Max at this very moment.

The book fell forgotten to the ground. Char was immediately on his feet, wings stretched to their largest extent, tail flame growing hotter and brighter, and teeth bared. In a dazzling burst of eloquence, Char spoke, summing up all the feelings he had on the matter, Max's suggestion, and the prospect of history repeating itself this week:

"Hell no."

[rivalappeared]

Green had always been an aggressive kid, and had even exhibited some of that aggression towards Max, the last time the army man had become a lizard. Now, he would start to understand some of what Max was talking about. Green's human aggression was nothing compared to the blazing, bright anger he felt as a Charizard. He imagined it took some getting used to, but he didn't have the luxury of previously being a Charmeleon or even a Charmander. Tossed right into the pot, and he had to learn to deal.

Either that, or go picking a fight. Where was Max, anyhow. He hadn't talked to him since the incident, but he suddenly felt an urge to share a few choice words. It was an unfamiliar Charizard that went looking for the man that day.

[maxizard]

Max was at his forge; this is where he was most of the week, as he could now use himself as a furnace, and it was safer for him out on the side of the volcano anyway. Nothing much to burn.

There's a forceful ringing and clanging coming from Max's workspace. If you had keen animal-type ears, you might be able to hear it from quite a distance, even if flying high above the beautiful earth as some sort of orange evolutionary impossibility.

[rivalappeared]

Green, unused to having said keen hearing, spotted him and swooped down. Sure, Max was in human form, but even then he still managed to dwarf the newly dragon- Green. Well, he could understand him, right? He chose to give it a try.

"Hey," he barked, all dragon rumbles.

AFTER GREEN

[maxizard]

Max had been going at this for some time now. And he'd yet to snap. He thought that maybe (just maybe) it might be a good time to reach out to Char, just a little bit.

So, Max wrote him up a letter and left it taped to his door. It read as follows:

I thought that you might want to make something for Green to, uh, commemorate this week. It's sort of a special deal thing for you. So, if you want to help make him something worthy of a charizard, I'll forge it if you want to provide the fire. I'm at my forge every morning from dawn to noon. Come find me if you want to talk about it.

A MILLION YEARS LATER wow i'm the worst

[rivalkidneypunch]

Assuming that Green had not, in fact, gotten totally #rekt, Char had not immediately thrown the letter away. Nor, however, did he immediately jump at the chance: he'd spent some time thinking it over, caught between the idea of lending some amount of permanence to the week he'd shared soul-flames with his trainer and his bitter urge to stay far, far away from Max forever.

Eventually, though, he made his choice: That afternoon, he stood at the entrance to Max's forge -- he knew Charizard instincts well enough to know that just barging into a place important to Max wouldn't exactly start things on the right foot, so he settled for calling out, the letter held tightly in one fist.

"Max!"

A PROMPT RESPONSE - to make you feel bad about yourself

[maxizard]

Max was banging away at God-knows-what. Something bright orange-white and being handled with bare hands because, while he was a charizard, he could do that. And it was kind of fun to do it that way.

Max felt a tickling at the back of his neck, similar to that which he'd felt when Green had visited earlier; he turned around when he heard his name yelled, and he saw Char standing in ye olde doorwaye holding a letter. Oh good. This was probably... okay possibly... maybe... not going to end with someone getting punched in the dick. His neck and back muscles tensed slightly at the thought of the other chayzard, but he pushed through the fight-or-flightfight feeling.

"Yeah!" he said from the anvil. "You can come in if you want. Sort of in the middle of somethin', but I can talk."