So You Think You're Turning Into a Chayzard: An Instructive Guide for Proper Living as a Burn Lizard

[tank_rockarms]

Who: Max and... probably some other charizards
What: Max is turning into some sort of fireman lizard
Where: Max's Forge and Sundry Other Locations
When: June 29th and beyond
Warnings: Swears. Lots of swears. Violence. Some (Lots of?) violence.

Persons wishing to interact with one (1) Maxizard are welcome to do so once he's finished blossoming into a new man.

Other Persons Turning Into Chayzards Are Welcome To Use This Post As Well. We'll get together a regular Conflagration of Charizards (Is that the collective noun? It seems as if it should be.).

Comments

[maxizard]

He must have passed out, at least momentarily, because when he opened his eyes, he was on the ground and... things felt decidedly different.

The heartburn was gone, for starters. It had been replaced with just regular burn.

And he was conscious of both tail and wings.

He stood up, slowly, from the dirt floor. He took a deep breath. He was aware, additionally, of the desire to want to knock the shit out of everything in the world, because he was a goddamned king of creation.

He'd spent years working through that feeling. He'd spent years working to tamp the impulse down in the man, so that if the beast ever came back, he'd be able to master it.

He was going to walk calmly back to the teacher's dorms, and find the pants that Parakarry had helped him make, and put them on. Until then... he'd just drape his wings down his back and hope that between that, the apron and his tail, he wouldn't be... too inappropriate for mixed company.

He grit his teeth, and, carrying his pants in the crook of one arm, walked down the volcano to make the trek over to the school. He couldn't drive his tank back in, as the tail prevented him from sitting down in the driver's seat, and he resisted the urge to fly in and terrify the shit out of everyone with the sudden appearance of the world's largest charizard, as he felt that would probably not be received well by Char, among several others.

((ANYONE WHO WISHES TO MEET HIM ON HIS WALK BACK TO CAMPUS MAY AT THIS POINT))

PHONECALL ON THE WAY BACK TO VINCENT

[maxizard]

Max took some time on his way back in to call Vincent's Cellular Teleradiophone.

The question, dear reader, was, would he pick up?

[punchtheflowers]

He did, after a million years. From the worn out tone of his voice, it sounded like he wasn't feeling too hot either.

"Whadya want, Max."

[maxizard]

"I turned into a charizard," came the reply. "Again."

[punchtheflowers]

There was a pause.

"Fuck."

There was another, slightly longer pause.

"Is it one've those weeks, or is it just you."

[maxizard]

"Hell if I know," replied Max. "I was at my forge when I started gettin' back pains and headaches and douchebag tattoos all over my arms and piercings forcin' their way outta my skin and the next thing I know I'm passed out and I wake up and I got wings and a tail."

"I'm walkin' to campus naked except for my leather apron," added Max, because clearly Vinnie wanted to know this.

[punchtheflowers]

He clearly didn't.

Out of, uh, sheer curiosity of course, Vinnie had to ask, "Did y'feel sick and start running a fever too...?"

In this icon, Char is you.

[maxizard]

"Sorta like I was runnin' a fever, but I didn't wanna be in the AC, which was weird. Usually when I get a fever, I wanna cool off. I wanted to dick around at my forge, instead. Dunno if it was an actual fever, but I was... you know, warm. And then the weird shoulder and ass pains and itchy face and chest, 'cause of the piercings. Sorta like the sort of pain you get if you work out too hard and the next day you got deep muscle pains," added Max.

"Anyway, if you can get to my room and go diggin' in the chest of drawers next to my TV, I think in the bottom one, there's a pair of pants that's got a tail-hole setup thing. I got boxers someplace, too, but right now I'm fine goin' commando if I can just get some pants on. If you can dig through and get those for me and start walkin' to my forge, you'll probably meet me on the way back in. I'd fly in but I'd probably give Char a heart attack, and I wanna try to break this easy on him."

[punchtheflowers]

Vinnie did not like the sound of those symptoms. Because he was having. Some of those symptoms. This did not bode well for him at all, but rather than comment on it, he was just going to keep that to himself.

A sigh. "Fine, whatever keeps you from terrorizing the kids."

There was a slight shift in his tone, something apprehensive as he added, "Max, uh. Look... you're not gonna go repeatin' shit like last time, with the tattooing, are you?"

Because if what was happening to Vinnie was what he thought was happening, he really didn't want more tattoos.

[maxizard]

Whatever, you're probably imagining these things, Vinnie. You're having an allergic reaction to some sort of pollen or something.

There was a decided pause on the other end of the line.

"It ain't gonna happen that way this time," he said, heavily. "I'm gonna work it out with Char." Haha, work it out with Char. Max, you're so coy. "Nobody's gettin' tattoos that don't want to get them themselves."

You probably want a star tattoo on your shoulder, Vinnie. It's a thing you probably have always wanted since forever.

[punchtheflowers]

He never has allergic reactions to pollen. He doesn't have any more room on his shoulder for a star tattoo.

A door could be heard in the background noise, followed by rustling.

Max would just have to forgive Vinnie for sounding more than a little bit skeptic about his plans. "Y'think that's really gonna work? With Char, I mean."

[maxizard]

You probably do now; you can get it on your forearm.

"I'll make it work," said Max. "Got to."

Have you noticed how your boss is stubborn, Vinnie? Have you noticed that, yet?

[punchtheflowers]

Goddammit; goddammit.

But can he out-stubborn Char is the question here.

Rustle rustle.

"Uh-huh. Where'd you say your boxers were?"

[maxizard]

"I didn't," replied Max simply. "I dunno. Probably in the drawer where I keep my underwear, at the bottom or somethin'. That's in the dresser next to my bed. Top drawer's for boxers. Slowpoke's probably next to it on a pile of busted tank tops."

[bluetanker]

[punchtheflowers]

"Hey Slowpoke." Vinnie patted him on the head.

Normally, a man might balk at having to touch the contents of another man's underwear drawer. These are not the kind of men that wear flowery pink clothing and smell constantly of perfume.

They were just fabric that just happened to touch your crotch. Anyway, the ones in here were all clean. And... for some reason, kept with some protein bars.

"Max, why d'you keep protein bars with your boxers. Why're they alternating?"

[maxizard]

Slowpoke, in a minute or two, will register your pat and nod a hello at you.

"What?" said Max at the other end of the line, in a bit of a huff, "You don't get hungry after a shower?"

[punchtheflowers]

"I don't really get hungry," was Vinnie's automatic answer, not knowing he would be eating those words (ha ha) in 24 hours.

"Okay, I found'em. See you outside."

[maxizard]

"Fine, whatever, venusaurs don't eat food," said Max dismissively. "I been a venusaur before. Still think you should eat more if you want to get bigger."

Max, still walking, kept walking towards campus. "Alright, you start walkin' towards me and I'll keep walkin' towards you and will meet up."