So You Think You're Turning Into a Chayzard: An Instructive Guide for Proper Living as a Burn Lizard

[tank_rockarms]

Who: Max and... probably some other charizards
What: Max is turning into some sort of fireman lizard
Where: Max's Forge and Sundry Other Locations
When: June 29th and beyond
Warnings: Swears. Lots of swears. Violence. Some (Lots of?) violence.

Persons wishing to interact with one (1) Maxizard are welcome to do so once he's finished blossoming into a new man.

Other Persons Turning Into Chayzards Are Welcome To Use This Post As Well. We'll get together a regular Conflagration of Charizards (Is that the collective noun? It seems as if it should be.).

Comments

[voltecpower]

Pulse blinked.

"This is your, uh, eighteen dollars, sir. Your change? From the purchase of two pink poffins, one dollar each. The smallest bill you had was a twenty, and I couldn't give you change for it at the time, sir."

If Pulse owed someone anything, he never allowed himself to forget it.

I don't have an icon for the emotions he's feeling

[maxizard]

"I don't," said Max. "What?"

He stared at the dragon-thing deeply.

"Why is there a dragon givin' me change for the bake sale?"

ehehe

[voltecpower]

"...A dragon, sir?"

He paused, his arm dropping somewhat, although that was mostly due to being unable to hold itself up for very long.

"Is that what I've turned into? A dragon?"

Of course, prior to having arrived at Smash Academy, he wasn't the type to believe in the existence of fairy-tale creatures, although having lived in Japan he was used to seeing them featured in the ancient architecture. Dragons were long, lithe, flowing things, representative of the untameable elements and chaotic forces of nature. And he was a... big, fat dinosaur-looking thing, representative of taking up space and breaking things by accident.

"I must be the least graceful-looking dragon that ever was."

He stood silent for a moment, looking at the ground, before raising his hand back up, holding the envelope toward Max.

"...But this is still your change, sir, you had asked me to pay you back when I could."

[maxizard]

"You're the robot guy?" Max asked. "You turned into a dragon?"

He was still trying to process this tidbit of information.

[voltecpower]

"Robot--"

Yeah, he probably means me.

"...Sir."

He straightened back up, turned to face the Charizard man, and bowed politely with his arms at his sides.

"In these circumstances, I forget that I have to reintroduce myself each time. My name is Pulse, sir. I attended your seminar for non-humans and AIs several weeks ago, and I had also served you at the bake sale last Friday. You had asked me about vegan items."

[maxizard]

"Right, your dad had sex with a computer and then you happened," explained Max further.

He reached over to take the envelope from the former-robot-current-dragon.

"Thanks for gettin' me your change even though you're a dragon," said Max, with an actual, genuine smile.

[voltecpower]

...Ugh.

Pulse handed over the envelope, but then stood up as straight as his spine and balance would allow, looking Max straight in the eyes.

"He loved my mother so much that he found a way to transform himself into a data-based object so that he could be with her. What transpired afterwards isn't anything that I prefer to discuss, sir, but he didn't perform sexual intercourse with a machine, and neither am I robotic in any way. Sir."

He then dropped back down into his regular slouching pose.

"And you're welcome, sir. I hope you have a pleasant day, despite the current, um, circumstances."

I'm. I'm sorry. And then again, not sorry in the least.

[maxizard]

Did you just try to be intimidating to a charizard, bro? Did you just make the mistake of trying to pressure a charizard? Bro. Bro. Bro.

The smile on Max's face had gone away and was replaced with a scowl and the appearance of far too many sharp teeth. "Look, maybe I still don't understand stuff and I still have problems rememberin' the difference between a guy whose half computer program and half people and an actual robot, but I don't take that tone from nobody. Call it what you want; so your dad didn't stick his dick into a CD-ROM drive, but if a kid comes out of it in the end, then somebody had sex somewhere. I ain't good at technical stuff. I'm sorry I keep callin' you a robot, but the next time you try to correct me if you give me that attitude I'll knock the look off your face before..."

Max was, at this point, spewing out flames from his mouth and generally being absolutely terrifying to behold.

He stopped what he was saying, and took several very, very deep breaths. The rise and fall of his absurdly large chest was a thrilling sight, I'm sure.

Through grit teeth he released a final, long, low breath. "I'm sorry," he muttered. "It's hard to keep my temper under control right now. Charizard default setting is angry."

It's cool, didn't think he'd be genial about it anyway XD

[voltecpower]

Pulse had a feeling that his standing up like that wasn't going to be taken very well by the large Charizard man. In fact, he already had a strong mental link between tattoos and overly violent attitudes, having fought against so many tattooed yakuza hackers back home. He was also fairly familiar with the crude language literally being fired at him, though it still made him cringe somewhat since the fellow was still making remarks about his late father. He was not a stranger to the sight of a massive creature flashing teeth whilst bearing down on him, either; however, it was at this point when he remembered something rather important.

I can't run. I'd trip on myself if I tried. And I can't fight back, either; all my powers are gone. Well, if I'm going to die here, I will do so with my head held high. Please send my regards to Beatrice.

Feeling the flames licking at his armored face, he closed his eyes, waiting for the end to come.

It was when things had fallen quiet, save for Max's heavy breathing, when he realized it wasn't coming. He opened one eye, then the other, seeing the Charizard man standing there with chest heaving, appearing to be calming down. Pulse remained silent, watching him. When he finally spoke, Pulse nodded.

"I understand, sir. I'm experiencing... similar problems. But if it'll be of some help to you, I will do my best to avoid... inciting your anger, sir."

He wasn't exactly sorry that he did it in the first place, but he decided that the smart thing to do at that point was to forgive him and try to forget about it, at least while he was having to deal with turning into a Charizard.

Fffff genial for Charizard Max, you're hillarious

[maxizard]

"Yeah, it's alright," said Max gruffly. "I accept your apology."

That wasn't really an apology, Max. Oh well.

"I need to get some pants on," he continued. "I'm tired of my bare ass. Thanks for the change." He was hinting at the fact that he felt this little chat was probably over at this point.

[voltecpower]

"Thank you, sir. ...Yes, sir... ...You're welcome, sir."

Pulse bowed his head and stepped aside, off of the path, allowing Max to pass by. He then lay down on his stomach, remaining in that spot for a long while as he appeared to be sunbathing, though he was actually working on gathering his wits back up before he tried walking again. It wasn't until Max was long gone before he decided that it was safe enough to move.