smash_logs | [Open Log] Ch-Ch-Cherry Blossoms

[Open Log] Ch-Ch-Cherry Blossoms

Who: You!
What: Cherry Blossom Festival
When: April 10th - 18th
Where: All over town & campus. Wherever you find a cherry tree. Probably even up there on that mystery island for whatever reason, if you're so inclined.
Rating: Flower power.

Pink is everywhere. No matter where you look, you're sure to see the signs of soft pink and white blossoms. There's a fresh spark of life filling the air and just beckoning for everyone to come outside and enjoy the sweet scents of spring. Well, except for you, people with springtime allergies. They just want to make you miserable. But perhaps for everyone else, it was a wonderful amazing time to be had.

There are wonderful spots for picnicking! Frolic inducing atmosphere and the space to do it! Every so often you will see vendors selling treats for the event! Cosplayers taking advantage of their natural environments for photo ops! Hot date spots! Blossoms! Sparkles! Everywhere! Even when it rains.

This log is completely open! You can do whatever you'd like with whomever you'd like whenever you'd like. Just start up a thread and go!

Have fun! Don't forget to add your character to the entry tags! ♥

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"How do they test that?" Sonny asked out of interest and no small amount of hoping that Hagakure actually had no clue what he was doing and therefore the reading was entirely wrong.

"They look at my predictions and see how many of them come true, dude," said Hagakure. "I'm the most accurate. 30%, dude."

".....only 30%?"

That does not fill Sonny with confidence.

"So, actually, she could still be madly in love with me and I wouldn't ever even know it? There's a 70% chance that it could be that way?"

Because apparently there are only two options.

"Well that's one option. Maybe she actively hates you. Maybe she's open to an open relationship with another guy and is interested in polyamory. Maybe she's considering seclusion in a nunnery but if you were to ask her to marry you in the next week, she'd be willing to put off her holy orders for you. Maybe she never loved you to begin with and you only think that she was in love with you. Maybe you were never really in love with her. Maybe you have erectile dysfunction. Maybe she's actually a ghost and you can't actually have a physical relationship with her. Maybe a lot of things, dude."

It's probably the ghost one.

"....but probably it would cost me another fifteen dollars and another sandwich to figure out which one, huh?"

No, Sonny another forty dollars.

"The safest bet," said Hagakure, "would be for me to do a reading ten times, and whatever answer comes up three times is the correct one."

Hagakure did a little mental math. "That's $400, dude."

".....I mean I guess I could TECHNICALLY afford it?" Sonny replied. "Like, if I was to go to my bank and get out all the money I've been saving up? But, um, I'm kind of not sure if that's... I mean..."

He really didn't want to hurt Hagakure's feelings. So far as he was concerned, Hagakure was a friend. But. He was kind of convinced Hagakure was full of the Tauros Poopy in regards to ten readings being in any way useful.

"It's the only way to be sure, dude," said Hagakure, who really wanted $400 to buy shit on the internet. "I mean, if you can live with the knowledge that maybe it's wrong, fine, but I'd want to know." Because that results in more sweet, sweet Hagakurebucks.

"Well... OK. If you're really truly sure." Sonny replied. Because Hagakure was his friend and he trusted Hagakure and if Hagakure said it was the ONLY way, then it must really be the ONLY way.

"Can I just give you a written I.O.U. for now and get you the money later? Because the bank is kind of a far walk from here?"

"I'm 100% certain," said the 30% correct man. "I know where you live, dude, I can get the money from you like, tomorrow."

Hagakure pushes a pen and a notepad over to Sonny that he was using to do some automatic writing practice on. He has a shockingly beautiful hand, although if you cannot read Japanese it probably isn't noticeable.

"Write it out, dude."

"....alright." Sonny replied, just really hoping this was an even remotely OK idea.

I, Sonny Moe Snorlax, owe Hagakure $400 as of this date:

And then he wrote the date.

"We'll do tarot this time, dude," said Hagakure, pulling a tarot deck out from underneath the deck.

"Time to do ten different readings. This is gonna take awhile, dude," he added.

So, he drew out the cards and read their interconnections as regarded Mr. Sunshine Mortimer's love life. The process took two hours.:

97/100 - incorrect -- You and the girl you are thinking of will have five children and then get divorced after you get hooked on drugs.

10/100 - correct -- The girl you are thinking of is no longer interested in you because you were too slow, and you missed your chance at a relationship with her.

17/100 - correct -- The girl you are thinking of is no longer interested in you because you were too slow, and you missed your chance at a relationship with her.

7/100 - correct -- The girl you are thinking of is no longer interested in you because you were too slow, and you missed your chance at a relationship with her.

80/100 - incorrect -- The girl you are thinking of was only using you for the wild sex, and there was never even a chance at a relationship based on emotional love.

95/100 - incorrect -- The girl you are thinking will marry you on her deathbed, leaving you a widow before age 30.

55/100 - incorrect -- The girl you are thinking of will spurn your advances in real life, all while forming a relationship with you online; when she comes to discover your true identity, she will at first be adverse to the relationship, but eventually come to terms with it, and marry you.

94/100 - incorrect -- She awaits your call; you will meet up soon, and over a delicious picnic, rekindle the love that once existed between the two of you. You will be married within two years, and have at least two, but no more than four, children together.

92/100 - incorrect -- Days before you are set to marry the woman you are thinking of, she will be abducted into a carriage by a seducer; you will throw yourself into the river and drown from sorrow in response.

10/100 - correct -- The girl you are thinking of is no longer interested in you because you were too slow, and you missed your chance at a relationship with her.

"Oh."

That was more than three times. If it had been less, Sonny could have held out some hope that he'd pretty much just flushed away four hundred dollars on nothing. Kind of a sad day when losing four hundred dollars is the up-side.

He felt wet heat on his cheeks and raised his arm to wipe his face.

Hagakure looked up at Sonny and blinked a few times.

Why was he crying?

Oh, right, loss of human affection. Emotions. Girl-problems.

"Uh, cheer up, dude, I mean, remember, I said you'd have sex sometime in the future. You aren't going to die a virgin. You've got that going for you, yeah?"

What a voice of comfort in times of distress you are, Hagakure.

"Oh. Yeah Uh-huh. That's good news? I think? Thanks?"

He sounded entirely unsure and was just kind of hiding in the crook of his own elbow, by now. He'd probably have gotten up to leave already so as to not interfere with Hagakure's business. Except that he was weeping and snotting like a faucet and didn't want to show that much unbridled facial moisture to the world and so had to remain hidden in his own elbow.

Human... emotions???? Hagakure has difficulty with those.

"Dude, just... dude, I mean, I'm sorry I can't help it, dude... just... dude do you need... dude what? Dude? You're crying, dude. Dude? Dude. Dude! Dude?"

Dude.

"It's OK! I'm OK!" Sonny said, raising his elbow a little and giving Hagakure the fakest of fake smiles that ever was faked by a big fat faker. "I'm just.... um..."

Crushed. Desperately, hopelessly crushed.

"I'm sorry. I don't mean to block your business? I should go. Do you maybe have a tissue or something that I can use to clean up my face? I forgot to bring a handkerchief today."

Hagakure handed Sonny a napkin. He had a napkin. It was a napkin.

"You, uh, sure you're okay?" he asked. Hagakure had only a 30% success rate at telling the future, but even he was pretty sure he could read this outcome successfully.

"Oh. Yeah. I'm definitely OK, so, don't worry?"

Sonny carefully took the napkin and wiped at his face and blew his nose a little and wiped his face again, and the napkin found itself entirely unequal to the task it had been given, turning into a sort of white, foamy mess.

"I was just hoping for something different. That's all. It isn't your fault and I'll be alright."

He used the heel of his hand to scrape bits of napkin-mâché out of his stubbly beard.

"....do you have a trash can?"

"Uh, no, dude," said Hagakure. "I don't. But, I mean, it's a festival, there's probably places to throw stuff away, right?" Hagakure had no idea where those places were, but they existed, probably. "A recycling bin or a trash can."

Somewhere else that wasn't here.

"So, uh, I guess... you can find one?" Good job, Hagakure. Good job.

"Ok. I'll go look." Sonny replied, wiping his face on the sleeve of his - oh wait, that wasn't a sleeve. He just had really hairy arms.

"...did you have anything you needed me to throw away?"

You know. Being as he was looking for a can and Hagakure didn't have one of his own.

"Uh, the thing the sandwich was in, dude," said Hagakure, pointing to the plastic bag that used to hold a sandwich.

"Oh. Yeah. I'll take that with." replied Sonny in a wet, sniffly sort of voice. "Thanks, Hagakure."

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[Open Log] Ch-Ch-Cherry Blossoms

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