smash_logs | merry merry christmas, and I want you to know

Entry tags:

merry merry christmas, and I want you to know

Who: YOU
What: KISSLETOES
When: December 14th - January 1st
Where: Everywhere
Warnings: Sloppy makeouts.

SUDDENLY, AND WITHOUT WARNING...

title or description

The entire school has become covered in mistletoe overnight. It grows out of the walls! The ceilings! Everywhere you least expect it? HOW CAN THIS BE??

It's probably best not to think about it. Attempts to uproot the plants or burn them away only makes the plants grow back faster. For the time being, it seems the school must live with it.

[OOC INSTRUCTIONS:
+ Post dudes, get kisses!
+ Some (NOT ALL) plants are cursed. If you manage to step under a cursed plant, you will exchange a memory when or if you exchange a kiss. The memories will be first-person and very vivid, and characters will feel like they are experiencing the memory in real time, though in reality the transfer is instantaneous. Memories can be as short, long, happy, sad, or traumatic as you like.
+ If you'd like to participate, we highly suggest making a list of a few memories (with accompanying links/descriptions) that are up for grabs, and linking or posting the list in your top-level comment. Memory exchange is COMPLETELY OPTIONAL. When in doubt, OOC communication!
+ PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE TAG YOUR CHARACTERS
+ That's it, we love you.]

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For once, Zero and Hajime shared the same opinion on something. The mistletoe was severely getting in the way of work, and exposing the most disturbing parts of his past to people he liked. It wasn't a winning combination.

All the same... as an amnesiac, the curse did leave him a bit conflicted. So far, it'd been the only consistent way that he'd been able to recover any memories at all, even if they were at random. Something, anything to fill that empty void that stretched out across his consciousness was still a tempting thing. On a good day, the reploid was more than happy enough to function without being bothered by his ignorance of his own past, but knowing that the school was how it was, the past could jump out at you any day. It was better to be prepared, right?

The downside being, of course, potentially alienating or traumatizing someone else in the process. It wasn't something he could do lightly.

Still, if they needed help... like Hajime right now, for instance. He was obviously trapped, but didn't spare an ounce of emotion for Zero at all. The reploid stared at him for a moment, deliberating between whether it'd be doing him a disservice or a favour to just walk away.

Eventually, he decided to ask. "Do you need help." (That was fair warning enough, probably.)

"Ah?"

For a stretch of a long few seconds, that was all Hajime said. He nearly had said that there was little Zero could do, before realizing he was making a rather foolish assumption (you know, just this one time). These curses didn't spare much attention to souls, merely the act of the kiss itself. Nothing should preclude Zero's ability to aid in the matter. Looked at it that way, the mistletoe itself had a mechanical fealty to its required actions, and none of the emotion surrounding it. The whole thing fit well, from that angle.

There was the matter of memories, but... well, he couldn't possibly imagine what sort of memories Zero could have, and he couldn't think of anything personally he could be bothered by the robot seeing. It had to be better than sticking around here, waiting for someone else to pass by, anyway.

After the silent stretch as he came to this conclusion, observing Zero carefully, Hajime straightened his posture and gave a small nod.

"I suppose."

Well, Hajime seemed to give the offer a fair amount of consideration - that had to be enough time for him to ponder the risks of dipping into the memories of a combat reploid, right? Then again, if all he saw were the slaughter of machines, Zero couldn't imagine Hajime being terribly bothered by it. Nevermind that the war pulled in almost as many human casualties too - but he probably hadn't considered that.

Either way, this was a mission that was best completed as quickly as possible. The reploid strode quickly over to the cheerleader and, looking just as stiff and stoic in his professional demeanor, gave him the smallest peck on the cheek. ~~Getting on his robot tippy toes was required to accomplish this.~~

He is being sentenced to death.

That is essentially the verdict handed down by what remained of the human government. Despite the role he played in ending the war, his capabilities are deemed too dangerous to continue existing. Both mind and body are to be sealed away, ad infinitum, to end the cycle of bloodshed that began with his creation.

Wordlessly, Zero accepts. He goes willingly into his restraints, enters the hibernation chamber, and awaits darkness without complaint. The sealing procedure initiates - once begun, it cannot be reversed. Slowly, his eyelids close - for what would be the last time - and his body shuts down. Functions go offline one by one, as a countdown clock signals the end. Closing a bloody chapter in history.

Fate has one last interruption. The sound of his name calls him back, a voice he recognizes immediately, a sight he knows intimately - filled with concern and quiet grief. As usual.

X...? the syllable is drawn out, sluggish, sleepy. Even on the brink of slipping away, green eyes, filled with tears, keep him anchored for a moment longer. But it's not long enough for a proper goodbye.

"Are you okay with this?" From trembling worry, X's voice quickens, spurred on by the pain of this injustice. "How can they do this to you after how much you fought for everyone?"

It's easy to repeat the words that condemned him. As long as I exist... history will be stained with blood. In his heart, Zero believes it too. The weight of too many bodies - of the whole world - lay on his shoulders, regardless of how thoroughly he rejected his true purpose. He can see the faces of those he couldn't save. Of all the meaningless deaths he had a hand in, for the sake of such uncertain peace.

But X's voice cracks, and he can hear his best friend's heart break between the cries of denial. "No... Zero, what are you saying?!"

He didn't understand. Zero's mind strains against his fading processors, trying to the words to explain why things were meant to be this way. Oh, X... whether he was a rookie or an elite Hunter, that soft, pacifist's heart of his never changed. It was what Zero cherished most about him. He was in awe of that enduring idealism, that hope which endured through all hardship. For all of X's self-doubt, Zero knew his partner would be fine without him around.

He could never reach such heights. Yet X remained his guiding light, the person he cared for above all else. And he trusted him - with his life, his blade, his dreams and his purpose. Even the future of the world. He knew X trusted him back the exact same way. That's what made them the best partners.

Quietly, thinking out loud as he tries to put his feelings into words, Zero mumbles, I've always wondered... for what purpose... for whose sake must we reploids slaughter each other?

But even then, you continued to believe in humankind...

...I trust in you as a friend. That's why... I want to trust the words of the humans... you believe in.

Everything starts to go out of focus. X's screams are distant, muffled cries of desperation, but Zero is finally at peace. A lifetime's worth of questions, frustration, resentment, fear and loss all wash away. In a few seconds, nothing will be left - not even love. He tries to smile, to give one last piece of reassurance, but his body's stopped responding. It's fine, X... The rest is... up to...

Without a trace of doubt in his heart, Zero slips into darkness. For X, he'd go willingly into death again and again.

He keeps his head down, looking over his notes as he walks. Though it's grown dark, the street is still busy with foot traffic, bathing the world around him in their ephemeral light. Human figures pass in his peripheral vision, each engulfed in their own campfire of willpower. They swell, ebb, rise, lick, in time with each heartbeat, sure as the tides of the sea. He only wishes he could read by the light they cast off.

There's a shriek, and he finally looks up, the disturbance raising ethereal sparks as onlookers around him flicker with worry. A woman, her heart sputtering out tongues of hot fear, is trying to elbow her way through the crowd, right as a blur of blue rushes past Hajime.

A stroller, picking up speed, rolls backwards down the hill, into the street. Dread hits his gut as he turns, catching sight of the face of the child inside. Startled by the sound of its screaming mother, its young flame withers under fear and confusion as it begins to cry.

"Ou, ooou--!"

Hajime's notebook hits the floor as he turns back downhill. Everyone's too startled to move, even as their flames churn with dawning terror. He's got to do something, anything but watch this happen, while there's still time--!

"OUENDAAAAAAAN!!!"

The force of cold desperation lashes out from the baby's shriek, a pure wail of need. Before Hajime can make it another five paces, another wave hits him--one of pure, blazing determination. Two doors down, an inferno in the form of a man burst from a shop door.

"OSU!"

For such a dazzling conflagration, Hajime can barely make out the figure in its center. Flames lick up him in steady tongues, wholly unlike the usual sparks and embers others cast off. This man, a towering, massive figure, radiates nothing but pure certainty, ultimate purpose, guiding every flicker and flash. The spirits around him, tealights in comparison, hardly even flicker in his presence, as each and every set of eyes has focused on the stroller still rolling downhill.

The man roars, jerks his fist into the air, and his soul plumes up just as the infant's spirit explodes, a searing certainty matching his own. Hajime's jaw goes slack as the baby's face twists from abject fear to ultimate faith, its little hands grip the edge of its stroller, and with a jerk, whips the cart around. The man whoops and shifts his stance, and the child's spirit surges and glows as it drives the carriage down the hill, dodging cars with the ease of the most seasoned taxi driver.

A great shove knocks Hajime from his awe, and the mother pushes past him, racing down the hill, her spirit still spitting embers but growing steadier by the second. As he looks again, the baby narrowly avoids colliding with a newsstand, instead snatching a chocolate bar for itself with a giggle, ramping off of a construction block and skidding into a perfect stop at a landing.

As the child giggles, its spirit settles down to a bright, steady, but less controlled blaze, bouncing eagerly in its seat as its mother rushes to reclaim it. The world comes back in along the whole of the street, as people breathe, reassured, satisfied, impressed at the display of courage and capability. Souls become steady, brighter than ever before at the knowledge that everything is all right.

"DAI SEI KOU." The huge man folds his arms behind him, his own unstoppable inferno settling down into a comparatively meagre bonfire, yet still brighter and steadier than any around him. Eyes flicker his way, for the first time, before rolling heavily. Hajime can hear muttering in the midst of the celebration, "There's that nutjob again," "How does he always show up when there's trouble?"

As the man turns to vanish into the crowd--as much as his huge mass will allow--feeling returns to Hajime's limbs, and he shoves his way through the throng.

"Wait--wait, Sir--!"

The darkness fades around him even as he pulls out of it, his heart beating against the numb that had taken hold. How had it happened, that twice now he'd died in another person's past?

Hajime studied Zero again, not knowing what he was looking for, this time. There really had been no mistaking it, the inevitable drain on all that was... it had felt just like that other time. Death took many forms, but in the end, it felt the same. A key difference, however, had been apparent. Instead of crushing misery and loneliness... this time, there had been someone there. Someone who had been so steadfast, desperate, loyal, and in the encroaching darkness it had inspired...

...Well, it was... all awfully convincing, wasn't it.

Hajime swallowed hard, unsure what to say. Finally, he straightened out his jacket. "Thank you for your help."

Of all the memories Zero had seen thus far, that had certainly been the most... ridiculous. Still, there was a feeling of breathless excitement that lingered in his chest, the kind that strikes a person when danger's passed and they're left on the verge of an epiphany. One that could change their life.

So that was the world in Hajime's eyes - one filled with the ebb and flow of fire, lit by a person's heart.

It seemed slightly more understandable how a machine without this telltale sight would cause such skepticism in the cheerleader, if only because the rest of the world was brimming with spirit - though as far as excuses went, it didn't give him much consolation. Zero knew what he felt, and he knew how strongly it could resonate throughout his body. Even if it wasn't visible to the eye, it had never led him astray.

Even if he gained nothing else from all this inconvenience, he was thankful for the memory that had been plucked from the abyss of his amnesia just now. It was... bittersweet, to be sure. But it'd also been the last time he spoke face to face with X, when both of them were alive. Being able to see him again, even in sorrow, was better than nothing at all.

Zero shook his head, a distant look in his eyes. "...I should be thanking you. That was... an important memory I'd lost."

For all the absurdities that made up Hajime's life, that moment had been among the greatest, first example. It said much, that this school still caught him off guard, where fantastic feats had spawned daily. The happier endings likely had much to do with it.

"Lost..." He repeated the word, contemplative, as he looked into a space somewhere above the ground. He'd not known of Zero's amnesia, but of course that was because he'd never bothered to ask. It was of no concern to him, of course, what data someone had or hadn't erased. That did seem, however, a terribly... intimate moment, to have discarded.

"That... was the partner you spoke of. X."

As little as Hajime would even think to admit it to himself, he had idly wondered what sort of being could make a companionship with the stoic droid. Zero and X... it seemed, somehow, a matching set of names.

"Yes." There was something in Zero's normally flat, stern eyes that brightened at the mention of X, like a spark was lit behind them. There was a fondness that he didn't show to most people, and pride mixed with melancholy. X had been someone special. Irreplaceable.

Maybe it was the fact that Hajime had already peeked into such an intimate moment between the two reploids, but Zero began to explain, "He's been my best friend since the beginning. Through two wars and the near destruction of earth... we fought, side by side."

As ever, Hajime had trouble picking up on emotional cues that didn't involve big, fiery displays. From that angle, Zero seemed just as empty as he'd ever seen him. It didn't feel right, though. Things weren't... matching up.

Zero and X. Nothing and none. He had to wonder who picked out these naming conventions.

"He... certainly seemed like an irreplaceable companion. I..." He was trying his best to figure out how to put in words, the feelings he'd been left with. There was a lot to process. "I'm sorry... you had to part, in such a way."

They were the coolest names and you're jealous.

Zero eyed Hajime for a moment, scrutinizing the human's expression. It was hard to tell if the sentiment expressed was genuine, or just lingering confusion from having Zero's emotions thrust onto him. That the cheerleader had bothered to say anything beyond a brief thanks was a little surprising, though.

"...There's something on your mind," he stated, bluntly. If there was some matter of contention, the reploid much preferred just addressing them flat out.

He glanced back to Zero. It would have been much preferred if his consternation hadn't been called out--namely, as he wasn't yet sure what to make of it, let alone how to explain it. Things had somehow gotten complicated, and he needed time to figure it out.

Twice now, he'd experienced another person's death, through this curse. Kiyotaka's had shaken him, left him afraid and angry, mortified and thankful. Someone he knew and loved had died before they'd ever met, and he had been blessed with the chance to meet him all the same. It was an awe-inspiring thing to consider with any individual, not just Kiyotaka. The frailty of mortality, the force and trauma that came of overcoming it...

...that all applied to Zero, too. Ought he to feel impressed now, as well...? He was genuinely uncertain. The emotions wrestled with his preconceptions, leaving him at a loss.

For several seconds, Hajime remained silent, stretching his time to consider as much as possible. Unable to come to a satisfying conclusion, he diverted to another answer.

"I... don't support the needless destruction of things."

'Things.' Zero narrowed his eyes, but didn't comment on the word usage. After all, that memory only proved that he'd never been anything but a thing in the eyes of humans. Someone whose status as a weapon outweighed his rights as an individual, no matter how much he proved himself. He couldn't even say they were wrong to do so.

"It was the will of humanity," he said, looking away from Hajime. "A truly peaceful world has no use for soldiers... not even ones that fought on their behalf."

So long as humans like Hajime believed that robots were simply tools, then he shouldn't have objections to the tools of war being disposed of when their time was done. But if he questioned how much of a waste that was, then it wasn't over a matter of resources. It was the possibility that perhaps, maybe, those robots could've been something more than what they were made for. That they were just as capable of change and growth.

The will of humanity. Humanity willed for a lot of things, different things, conflicting things. There was a lot of humanity with which to will. Hajime knew that well. He liked to believe the general will was for the better, but that wasn't always the will seen most readily.

"That's what you are, and nothing else?" He refocused his attention, carefully observing once more. "A soldier--that's your directive, and there's nothing else you can be?" He was halfway between being rhetorical and genuinely asking. Human soldiers often struggled with reintegrating to peaceful society, for what they'd experienced. They were not better off dead for it, though. No one was.

"You can't think of a single way you can..." ...change? "...be repurposed?"

Zero was almost tempted to laugh - that is, if he were the type to laugh. He wasn't. But he could recognize that ironic laughter might've fit right about now.

He'd pieced together enough clues about his creator and his true body that Zero could say with reasonable certainty, "Being a soldier wasn't my original directive," to use Hajime's terms. "Being a soldier is what I chose to do."

But to address Hajime's last question, "Whether I can be more... I want to find out here."

He chose... something alternative to his initial purpose. That was something to ponder on... but for this moment, that was not the issue to be questioning, even as it highlighted an important matter.

"Then, all the same. Your disposal was a selfish effort to try and hide something of which humanity was ashamed." Hajime couldn't say if Zero deserved punishment; he didn't know him, or what he'd done. But he couldn't agree with casting death under the light of "for the greater good" or the like.

"I can't speak for anyone else. So I simply stand by what I said before. I'm sorry things went that way for you, and your partner."

It was honestly surreal hearing Hajime say sorry to him - not simply because of his views, but because he'd never heard anyone bother to. Zero didn't know what to make of it. After all, he'd understood and accepted the reasons behind it. Not being the type to dwell on the past, his first instinct was to brush off the apology as unnecessary. After all, it changed nothing about what happened - all he could do was continue forward in his new life.

But if being sealed away was a mistake to be regretted... If X hadn't been alone in the coming years, during the founding of Neo Arcadia and the struggles of post-war conflict, how different would the world have become? It was a possibility he'd never spared time to think about before. X had helped give Zero meaning, but Zero had always helped X stay focused.

Would X's heart have become so numb and sorrowful if Zero was there to support him? Would Neo Arcadia still have replaced him with a callous dictator who oppressed reploids in the name of necessity? The more Zero thought about the state of the future, the more uncomfortable he felt about his sentence.

With a heavier heart, the reploid frowned and told Hajime, "You're the first to say so. ...Thanks."

Edited (ugh phone edits) 2015-01-02 04:17 (UTC)

From what had been said so far, being the first didn't come as a surprise. An awkward silence fell, as he tried to think of a suitable response. Nothing came to him; he was getting overly sentimental, he realized. He'd meant what he said, but that was all there was to say.

"I've things to attend to." He pushed up his glasses and turned away. "Thank you, for your help."

As Hajime turned his back, Zero couldn't help but be filled with a small mote of hope for the cheerleader. That's right... if he didn't have faith in people being able to change, then it would've meant that Zero's trust in X was waning as well. He'd already seen humans go from outright disgust at robotkind to begrudging acceptance - they could go far, if their hearts were in the right place.

It was often easier to forget when there wasn't something world-ending about to crash upon him to test his fortitude. Being frustrated, cynical, even resentful was an understandable reaction, but at the end of the day he had to remember what it was that held him together.

Hajime wasn't a bad person. And he could become better with time.

With a nod, Zero told him, "Be careful out there," before he turned to leave as well.

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merry merry christmas, and I want you to know

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