Epic Meal Time: Pokemon Eating Meat

[rivalthunderbolts]

Who: Jolt, Jock and Blake
What: The aforementioned eat all this meat
Where: The Kitchen
When: Tuesday
Warnings: Bacon and haters

Jock was probably sleeping pretty well, dreaming of sides of beef and pork loins and whatever else a hungry Arcanine dreamed of. But his dreams were about to be rudely interrupted by an even ruder Jolteon, poking at him as he slept.

"Wake up," Jolt instructed.

Comments

[flamejock]

Jock was sort of gnawing on his pillow in his sleep. He kept biting at it and making little growling noises.

Still asleep, bro.

[rivalthunderbolts]

Jolt poked him again.

"Wake up."

[flamejock]

An arm swings up and swats at Jolt's poking finger.

More little growls happen.

[rivalthunderbolts]

This time Jolt swatted him with a pillow.

[flamejock]

Okay now suddenly Jock is awake and also he's sort of launched himself at you out of his bed.

Whoops.

[rivalthunderbolts]

Jolt reacted quickly, being far more awake than Jock was at the moment. He sidestepped the giant burly man, letting him drop to the floor, upon which the Jolteon nudged him with his toe.

"Get up. We're eating meat."

[flamejock]

Jock looked up from the floor where he was being nudged with a foot.

"Okay."

[rivalthunderbolts]

"I've got a huge shank of sheep and bacon," Jolt explained. "C'mon and let's cook it like bosses."

[flamejock]

There was a tank top on the floor left over from yesterday. CLEAN ENOUGH. Jock yawned and pulled it towards himself.

"I wanna cook it myself," said Jock.

[rivalthunderbolts]

"Hang in there," Jolt assured him. "Just cooking this stuff isn't enough. We've gotta go the extra mile. We've gotta make this meal... epic."

[flamejock]

"Okay," said Jock. From this vantage point, he could see something beneath the bed. It was shiny and he wanted it. He reached to grab it...

IT WAS...

A pair of aviator glasses.

His old roommate must have lost them before he moved out.

Neat! Jock put them on. It felt somehow right.

Jock you should get off of the floor sometime.

[rivalthunderbolts]

"Meet me in the kitchen in ten minutes," Jolt instructed. "Get a camera. We've gotta record this for posterity."

With that, he left to gather ingredients.

[flamejock]

Jock looked up as the jolteon walked away. Where was he going to get a camera from?

Who had a camera? Did mom have one? Jock had no idea. Maybe BLAKE would know.

And so, dear reader, Jock finally got up off of the floor and jogged over to Blake's room. Maybe he hadn't gone to bed yet - it was early, still. He knocked on the door. "Blake!" he said, "It's me!"

IN THE KITCHEN

[rivalthunderbolts]

In the kitchen, Jolt was prepared with a large slab of sheep, ready to cook. Also present were several packages of bacon, trays, seasoning, knives, pans, everything they would need to make this meal epic.

"You ready for this?" Jolt asked. He was dead serious about this.

Re: IN THE KITCHEN

[flamejock]

Jock looked at the everything.

"I'm waiting for Blake to show up with the camera," he explained from behind his aviator glasses.

He paused. "Are you sure that's enough bacon?" he asked candidly.

Re: IN THE KITCHEN

[rivalthunderbolts]

"No, but we can get more," Jolt replied, smacking the side of meat. "You ready for this, bro?"

[flamejock]

"Yes," said Jock.

"Do we need to wait for Blake to show up or can we just eat it now?"

[rivalthunderbolts]

"Hang in there," Jolt said. "First we're cooking this bitch."

[travelingdarkness]

Without warning and very, very late, there was a small voice that piped up from the doorway.

"I apologize for the delay, Jock. The video camera has been procured."

It was the little shadow holding an old looking camcorder, found headmaster-knows-where. Probably stolen from one of the tech labs.

[flamejock]

Jock turned to Blake and looked at him through his shades.

"Do you know how to work that thing?" he asked. Because Jock had absolutely no idea.

[travelingdarkness]

Blake nodded, and held up the device.

"It is not dissimilar to the recording functions on our computers." As he spoke, there was a whirr as the camera was turned on and came to life.

[rivalthunderbolts]

Jolt cracked open a can of energy drink, taking a swig. "All right, we've got the food, we've got the camera. Time to make some magic."

He got in front of the camera and got right into it. "It's Epic Meal Time, online cooking show," he shouted. "And today we've got us a slab of sheep. My boy Jock and I are gonna take this lamb, wrap it up in bacon, cook the hell out of it, and eat it! You can't stop the meat train. It's coming to your stop next."

[flamejock]

Jock looked over at the mutton and the packs of bacon next to it.

"We're gonna need more bacon."

[rivalthunderbolts]

Jolt walked up to the fridge. He flung open the door.

That was a lot of bacon piled up in there.

"I've got this."

[flamejock]

Jock walked up to the bacon. Jock grabbed a pack of bacon and ripped it open with his teeth.

"The best way to cook bacon is on the inside."

Jock shoved about half a package of bacon into his mouth and smiled a toothy grin. Smoke started pouring from between his teeth and sizzling sounds happened.

JOCK used CRUNCH. It's SUPER EFFECTIVE.