O, Signage of Truth and Virtue! Enter into Our Swoledom: Enter into Our Hearts!

[raced_god]

Who: Max, Captain Falcon, you?????
What: Hanging posters. Maybe some other stuff. Maybe whatever you want.
When: Week of April 21st.
Where: Around campus and also the locker rooms I guess.
Warnings: Swolitude. Tiny towels. Man talk.



The posters have sprung up overnight. Tacked to bulletin boards, plastered on lampposts--anywhere that can feasibly hold a flyer, the posters are there. The question, then, is where are they coming from? Who is putting them up?

The answer is perhaps obvious. If one pays attention, it is not difficult to find one Max Powers around campus with a stapler, one Captain Falcon following him with a stack of flyers.

One can only imagine the things that run through his head. I've saved the universe, he thinks to himself. I am the greatest racecar driver that ever lived, he thinks, with every clack of Max's stapler. I own islands.

And yet

And yet, dear reader, there they are.

Comments

[inspirethefire]

It came to Hajime in a flash. He'd been wondering what the appropriate analogy for Max's size was for a while, but with this new non-word juxtaposed to his quivering biceps, it came to him. "Meat balloons."

[raced_god]

"Gross," said Falcon.

[needsmorebiceps]

"Wrong," said Max. "Balloons are empty and got nothin' in them. These are solid muscle. The left one's Boulder," and here he brought it up for Hajime, "and the right one's Tank," he finished, with a glorious double bicep pose.

"Meat balloon's an insult."

[inspirethefire]

"Sorry, Sir. It was just... what popped into my head." He'd found debating Max, especially on topics like this, proved largely futile, so he left it there.

Aside from...

"So is... gaïnze... French?"

It's good to hope for the best and expect the worst, sometimes.

[raced_god]

"I think it's a made-up word. Gains, like, to gain muscle."

So, not French, sorry Hajime.

[tank_rockarms]

"It ain't made up or whatever French is. It's just gains with a z is all. Gainz. Muscle gainz."

[inspirethefire]

He had to resist the impulse to inform Max that this did, in fact, make it made up. "Is there a particular reason it's spelled with a z?"

[raced_god]

"Dudebros, probably."

Said in a way that suggested Max was totally a dudebro.

[tank_rockarms]

"It's how they spell it on the weightlifting forums I read," said Max, who was totally a dudebro.

[inspirethefire]

"And you're entirely certain it's not a typo on their part?"

[tank_rockarms]

"Uh, nope. That's how they spell it."

[inspirethefire]

"Why?"

[raced_god]

"Because they're dudebros."

[bluetanker]

"It looks cooler with a Z."

[inspirethefire]

"I see. A culture where aesthetics trumps reason." Casual glancing between the two of them. "I can see the appeal for some."

[raced_god]

"I'm not a dudebro," Falcon insisted. He didn't even use the word gains, much less spell it with a z, god.

[tank_rockarms]

"You say that but you're just sayin' that," said Max, who was helping.

[inspirethefire]

Hajime didn't say anything. He just watched.

[raced_god]

"I don't spell gains with a z. I don't use the word gains at all."

HE'S NOT A DUDEBRO

[bluetanker]

Max poked Falcon in the shoulder.

"Only a dudebro would get his delts ripped enough to the point that they're as distinctive as yours."

[raced_god]

Falcon put his hands on his face and dragged them downwards slowly and made a noise that sounded kind of like anngghghblblglrgrhkgjrhgjfkfffjkgrrkgkk.

[inspirethefire]

"You're helping him spread flyers promoting the dudebro culture." Admitting you have a problem is the first step.

[tank_rockarms]

"I'm pretty much your only guy friend," added Max.

[raced_god]

"That's not true. I'm friends with Gordon and Joel and Cid. And I have friends back home."

No he didn't, most everyone back home wanted to kill him.

[tank_rockarms]

"Every guy from your home that I ever met has pretty much tried to kill you," said Max. "That Black Shadow guy, Pico, that guy who looked just like you... what's his name, I don't remember... Except Goroh, who sort of wanted to kill you and be your friend at the same time. So, I guess Goroh counts."