smash_logs | Class Log

Who: Snake and You
What: Boxes 101 - Be there or be square. (Ha, ha, ha.)
When: Wednesday - 11:00am
Where: Snake's Classroom!
Warnings: This whole log deserves a warning.

When Snake had learned he was put in charge of something called 'Boxes 101,' which he had to assume was supposed to be some kind of jab in his direction, he didn't even really know what he was doing. Or what the Hands expected out of him. In fact, he was beginning to think that he probably just should have ignored the one that smelled like oranges.

All the same, he wasn't backing out. Men like Snake did not back out. It was an honour to die on the battlefield for one's beliefs. In hindsight, however, Snake couldn't agree that his 'fondness' for boxes had anything to do with a cause he was willing to die for. In fact, he was pretty certain he'd sooner use a box for shielding himself than to put his life on the line for one.

What could one do with boxes anyway? He'd used them for concealing purposes, which wasn't always necessary, but they certainly came in handy. He supposed they were used for packing and moving, a pastime most people sincerely didn't enjoy - himself included, he guessed. They could be used as material to create forts, which was definitely something kids would sooner do - and by extension, architectural purpose. But no one ever heard of a great monument being constructed out of cardboard.

Blueprints and smaller scale models... he theorised to himself.

Cigarette poking out from between his lips, his expression twisted up along with all of his thought and consideration. Sometimes, he admitted with reluctance. You have to get creative. We might as well take the conservative approach for now.

After all, gaining the interest of his students was top priority. The real motive could come into play later and he had a feeling if he could lure his pupils in, he might get something out of it. Especially if it meant figuring out a leg up on his... 'father'. Big Boss was there and Snake hadn't forgotten that. But he hadn't exactly welcomed the man either. In fact, he hadn't said a damn thing.

What do you say to the man who is your mirror? Maybe we both want the other to die.

And that debate could come later.

The class had to come first. Much to Snake's chagrin. But at least he had a 'rap' that was either sure to impress or to miserably bomb. The soldier didn't exactly have high hopes for the former. When in doubt, try to be hip, evidently.

"I'M THE SOLID SNAKE AND I'M TELLIN' IT NOW, YOU SEE THESE BOXES, YA GOTTA BREAK `EM DOWN.

THE PATRIOTS, THEY'RE TAKING THE LAND, SO WE GOTTA CONSERVE, USIN' JUST OUR HANDS.

SEE THAT CARDBOARD, FOLD IT UP. NOW STASH IT AWAY FOR THE GARBAGE TRUCK.

WE'RE GONNA TURN THIS WORLD, BRIGHT AND GREEN. IT'LL BE THE MOST BEAUTIFUL THAT YOU'VE EVER SEEN.

BUT IN ORDER TO SUCCEED, YOU GOTTA DO YOUR PART. SAVING THE ENVIRONMENT IS A WORK OF ART."

[OoC: Snake is, in fact, not Captain Planet, but the resemblance is uncanny. I blame Kat for this, personally.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Oh! Mr. Pliskin, I have a question.

If we are going to be saving the environment, which, by the way, I'm all for...

...Wouldn't our goal be to get a box into a recycling bin and not a garbage truck?

......

[He simply stares at Warren.]

Recycling bin didn't rhyme.

[WANNA FIGHT ABOUT IT? HUH?? HUH????]

Oh, right. A lack of creativity, I see. [He brings a hand to his chin and ponders.]

Let me try then.

[So the boy stands up and clears his throat loudly, hand daintily on his chest, then bursts into a SOOTHING TONE~]

SEE THAT CARDBOARD, FOLD IT IN. NOW STASH IT AWAY FOR THE RECYCLING BIN!

[He sits!]

There, how was that?

What, do you want extra credit or something? Stop acting like a smartass and pay attention.

[No. Snake doesn't appreciate you homing in on his rappin' skillz.]

Yes, I'd like credit for contributing to the class... or is that not what I'm doing?

(no subject)

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[Link raised his hand and waved it vigorously, trying to be seen.]

You look like Mister Boss, Mister.

[This is Snake's unamused face.]

Really.
That's interesting.

[Except it's not. AND HE KNOWS. GOD. THAT'S NOT HIS REAL DAD.]

Did you have any questions about the actual class, or was that it?

Why are boxes so floppy?

[What... kind of question is that? He stares blankly at Link.
He's regretting his decision to come here now.]

Because the inventor of boxes thought it would be comical to inspire a bunch of people to punch things when their own boxes broke in the middle of use.

[He knows this isn't the answer, but... he doesn't actually know the answer to that.]

If you take good care of a box, then it won't get floppy.

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[Important question:]

That

was

SO

LAME.

If you think you can do better, go ahead, kid.

[Just don't be surprised when Snake shoves you into a box and pushes you out into the hallway.]

...Are you challenging me to a rap battle?

Want me to throw you out?

[Don't tempt him.]

[Mac. Said. Nothing. He just tried to jot down notes and look like a good student.]

[Thank God. Finally, someone who's behaving.

Snakes heaves an inward sigh of relief.]

"See that cardboard, fold it up. Now stash it away for the garbage truck."

[SCHOOL IS FUN. SOPHIE LIKED THIS. She was trying to sing the lyrics of the song.]

[NOOOOOOOO.
WHAT HAS HE STARTED?]

Stop that.

[It's not meant to be a song!]

But it sounded like a nice song.

I'm learning.

[Yes. You are.]

[Learning how to be a special snowflake, yes.]

Eh...
If you want to make it sound nicer, I'll... give you extra credit towards your final grade.

[The proverbial face palm is going right here.]

[No questions, just...]

Whoa! Those were some slick rhymes!

[Pit. Pit.
Are you kidding, or are you being serious?

Either way, Snake doesn't think much of them himself.]

Good to know you approve.

[He doesn't care. He really doesn't. Isn't he a great teacher?]

[Daisy raised her hand.]

Did you write that rap?

Yes.

[He answers her succinctly.

And leaves out:
In about thirty seconds.]

Just checking.

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