smash_logs | herei come snep run over your pokmens

Who: Kieran, Captain Falcon, the medbay squad, and YOU
What: Some idiot deer gets hit by a car and proceeds to moron it up all over the joint.
Where: Directly outside the school, then in the infirmary, then EVERYWHERE
When: Thursday, March 8
Warnings: Deer Xing

What was this place?

Kieran had never before left the comforting embrace of the forest. To see the trees entirely absent, replaced by these strange, perfectly rectangular... caves? It was... disquieting. The paths were full of those peculiar two-legged creatures, casting him odd stares and jostling against him as they hurried to wherever their destination was. It was so different from the forest in every single way... a part of Kieran couldn't help but wonder if someone he had wandered right out of the mortal realm entirely. It was starting to make him nervous; he felt oddly exposed without the cover of the trees all around him.

He... he needed to get out of here. Wherever this was, he wasn't ready for it. He pushed his way out of the crowded sidewalk, bounded out into the road. His hooves scrabbled for purchase on the oddly smooth surface, but if there was one thing Kieran could do, it was run.

[OOC: I am setting aside a thread for WHUMP, CARFACE and also one for the infirmary. For the rest of the log, Kieran will be exploring this wondrous magical place called the school. Feel free to post your character anywhere -- cafeteria, dorms, in the shower -- and Kieran will just... butt on in to say hello.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Gold-star safety rating, Blue Falcon.

In other news, NOTHING IS WONDERFUL AND EVERYTHING HURTS. Let us now consider the hauntingly beautiful, tragic image of a wounded stag.

Which is to say he just puked up some blood and is bellowing and screaming like a crazy thing and trying to scrabble away on legs that somehow won't function anymore and AAAAAA OH GOD THIS IS HOW THE WORLD ENDS. HE HAS TRESPASSED IN THE IMMORTAL REALM AND THE GODS HAVE STRUCK HIM DOWN FOR HIS IMPUDENCE AND THE GOOD TIMES ARE OVERRRRR. ARCEUS HAVE MERCY HE IS TOO YOUNG AND INNOCENT TO DIE. This is definitely a rational and cool response and totally isn't the most annoying thing you could possibly do, Kieran. I'm sure this is exactly what Falcon needs right now.

He sat behind the controls for a moment, completely and utterly stunned that he'd allowed himself to get in such a mundane accident, before realizing that OH YEAH maybe he should check for injury. Luckily, it seemed his seatbelt (unlike his airbags), had done a proper job, and the Captain only felt a bit of whiplash--which he was sure would get worse later, but for now it was manageable.

It was another few seconds before he remembered that OH YEAH he hit a god damn deer maybe he should go make sure it's not stuck under the Blue Falcon.

Flinging open the cockpit, he barely had time to mourn the damage done to his car--there was a screaming, injured animal right over there and Falcon had no idea what to do about it. Upon closer inspection, the thing didn't seem to be an ordinary deer. Yeah. That was definitely a Pokemon he hit a Pokemon. He approached cautiously, hands raised in defense.

"Oh. God. Christ. Okay, just. Calm down, hang on I'm not going to hurt you. More than...I already have."

OH LORD WHAT. The horrific godbeast thing just had one of those two-legged spirits pop out of its belly and now it was getting closer and he couldn't feel his legs. He was going to finish the job, wasn't he? Oh god, he totally was. Kieran made a noble attempt at displaying a sense of self-preservation by waving his antlers threateningly.

Except it kinda looked a whole lot more like he was flopping around like a dying fish. Uh... BEWARE, FALCON???

Falcon had dealt with his fair share of injured humans. He knew how to keep someone alive if he had to--not all bounties were worth money dead, after all--but this was a Pokemon. This was a bleeding, dying Pokemon that he'd just smacked with his car and oh god shut up the bleeding dying noises weren't helping.

He was slow to close the distance, very much not wanting to get gored, phone already out and speed-dialing the nurse. Lashing out, he managed to wrap his hand around one of Kieran's prongs in an attempt to force the deer's head to the ground--maybe that way it would stop thrashing.

"Don't--don't move."

AW HELL NAW, SON. Pinning down his primary means of self-defense so you could get at Kieran's tender, exposed neck and possibly yank out his windpipe?? This was not a concept Kieran was jiving to. As soon as Falcon's hand closed around that prong, his antlers took on a Very Ominous Golden Glow.

Should Falcon choose to continue holding on in spite of some kind of very obvious bullshit Pokemon magic, he would Horn Leech like there was no tomorrow.

WOW that was some total bullshit Pokemon magic.

Falcon wasn't quite prepared for that--he'd banked on the animal being too injured to try anything but flail. The move knocked him backwards and it hurt, partly because he'd been so unprepared.

Once the initial pain had faded, however, shock was quickly replaced with anger.

"You--I'm trying to help you! Stop it."

Help? You hit him with that divine beetle whose womb you tore yourself out of. Blame it on the blood loss and also possible concussion keeping him from thinking straight, but he was growing more and more convinced that the very God of Predators himself was here, preparing to feast on Kieran's tender delicios deerflesh. The Horn Leech had given him a tiny little jolt of strength, so he made an effort to rise up onto his feet and bolt for wherever the forest was.

That effort, alas, really just added up to "oh hey broken limbs hurt", and Kieran just kinda flopped against the pavement again.

"Leave me be, ruthless god! I refuse to die outside of the forest!"

(Or, in other words, "Sawsbuck saws saaaww.")

Yeah, Falcon didn't speak Pokemon. Even if he did, the Captain didn't much care for what the thing was saying. What he did know was that this deer-thing wasn't going to last much longer if it kept thrashing.

But with it's total bullshit Pokemon voodoo magic, he didn't have much choice but to step back and complete his call to the nurse's office.

Of all the times to not have the number to the local Pokecenter.

"Look, just, hold on, I'm getting you help."

herei come snep run over your pokmens

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