smash_logs | baby it's cold outside

Wario watched the snowball drench Goose's mass of blonde hair and he continued hiding behind the tree, snickering like an idiot.

Oh, this was just too funny. His reaction was priceless.

Aha. AHA. Goose heard that laughter. He managed to slip over to the tree, and lo and behold, a blubbery sight that was far too hard to miss.

"... What do you think you're doin'?"

Oh shit. Goose found him. But it was still hilarious. He couldn't stop laughing, as he still had the picture of Goose's soggy snow-covered hair stuck in his brain.

"Pfft! Wah ha ha ha! You should've seen your face, bird-brain!"

He would have been more scared about being found out, but it was still so damned funny...

"Eh, could be funnier. Like this."

Maybe Wario should be a little more scared, because look, here comes a Goose packing snowballs in his hand.

And now he's flinging them. Like a boss.

Wario should have expected that. He should have.

But it was too late. Wario was being pelted with snowballs, one right after the other. There goes his pride. Ouch. At least he stopped laughing by now.

He finally managed to crawl back behind that tree and avoid the onslaught of snowballs. Goose would probably chase after him with the snowballs, but for now, Wario started building up snowballs of his own, throwing them here and there.

Yeah no Wario, you are not getting away from Goose. Once he's got his target sighted, he is locked on forever. Okay, maybe not forever, forever is kind of a long time.

"Aw, what's wrong? Chicken?" He stopped flinging snowballs for a moment to act mocking, flapping his arms and clucking.

See this, Wario? This is what you are. A chicken. A roasted garlic chicken with lemon sauce. That sounds pretty good.

Goose really knew how to piss Wario off. Well, not piss him off, exactly, but to really rile him up.

"I ain't no chicken, bird-brain!" Wario cried, stepping out from behind the tree, throwing numerous snowballs at Goose's mocking form.

OH WELP that's what he gets for being a dick to him. Then again, Wario was a dick first, so it was all fair game to him. It's the immature and unspoken excuse of, "He started it!"

Goose was ready, though. After a few pelts, he managed to duck and start gathering snow in his hands. As he flung them, he shouted, "This

means

WAR."

Of course. This was most certainly war. Wario had to form a strategy of how to win this war.

Wario was hit with a few of the snowballs, but was able to dodge some of them, prepared for Goose's antics.

Here and there he managed to gather snow, returning fire with a vengeance.

Ahaha yes. Battle tactics were very important, and Goose had to make use of them.

He attempted to dodge the snowballs to some extent as he began to gather snow all around him. Yes, he is building a snow fort to block out attacks.

"Lessee how you handle this," he teased, pushing snow up and up and packing it tightly.

Of course, a snow fort! That's what Wario needed! He saw Goose build one as he was pelted with snowballs, and Wario decided to build one himself.

He dove into the snow, sculpting the walls of his own fort as Goose sculpted his.

Oh yeah. This was really turning into a serious battle zone.

Oho, being a copycat. Slick. Real slick. Goose wasn't about to give up, though, just because it was a fight of fire with fire.

Once the fort seemed of a sufficient height, the snowballs. They were being thrown at rapid speed. No mercy.

Once Goose had finished his fort, Wario's was coming along, so it blocked some of the snowballs headed his way.

However, he had to finish. He had to endure the snowballs as he perfected his fort! So he did. Now the fort was finished.

Wario tossed snowballs back in Goose's direction, though he wasn't as fast as the other guy. Wario, by now, had his mustache caked in snow, and it lost its zig-zag pattern. It was just... a frozen mass of hair.

That alone was enough to heavily amuse him, even though Goose himself wasn't looking so hot. His hair was matted and coated with melting, slightly muddy snow. It made him look pretty gross right now, to be honest.

The plus, however, it that he wasn't the only one looking worse for wear.

"Heheheh. Look at you," he pointed out. "Is white your natural color?"

"That's funny, bird-brain," Wario yelled back as he tossed more snowballs, "I was just gonna say the same thing about you!"

Yes, they were both drenched in snow, and any part of Wario that wasn't protected by clothing was chilled to the bone. But that's okay, because that was half the fun of it. Tossing snowballs back and forth, drenching each other... Wario would need to take a hot bath after this with a giant mug of hot cocoa.

That would have sounded very appealing to Goose if he wasn't already having a... ball with this. (YEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH)

"Guess that just means I'm a snow goose, ain't I?"

... funny how his last name really does mean 'singing snow goose'. Goose knew that fully well, but he wasn't about to speak up about it.

Wario didn't know that Goose had a last name or a first name or any full name really. He just knew that Goose was named after an annoying, honking bird. Which is why his nickname was bird-brain. (See Wario's puns are hilarious too. Except that wasn't a pun. It was... who knows.)

"I guess so! You sure have the brain of one! Wah ha ha ha!" Wario really needed to find another joke about Goose's name.

"I dunno, but I always hear that geese are pretty damn smart," he remarked. Smarter than larks, at any rate, but that wasn't even something Wario would get. He wouldn't, right? Then again, Nester definitely got around. ~~not in that way you fucks~~

Goose tried to brush down his hair a little with his fingers so it wouldn't jut out of the fort as much as it did. "What I wanna know is your name. Wario? What kinda name is that? Italian or something fancy?" He sure wasn't very fancy.

Yeah, geese sure were smart all right. Smart for something with a brain the size of a pea! Wario laughed at this, mocking Goose's statement and... his own thought processes.

Wario wasn't too sure about the origins of his own name. ~~Technically it meant "Evil Mario" in Japanese but that's a different story.~~ It was very Italian, though, since he was born and grew up in Italy ~~I think.~~

"Yeah, it's Italian for 'I am superior so you should give me all your money!' Wah ha ha ha!" Wario thought he was so funny, didn't he? Well he was clearly superior, and he deserved all the money.

Goose begged to differ. "I dunno. I just think it means..."

He then ran out of his fort and tried to get behind Wario. Why? SNOWBALL ASSAULT TO HIS BACK.

"'I'm inferior and I got snow in my pants.'"

Wario did see Goose escape his fort. What the hell was he planning? Wario had a feeling he knew, but it was too late. Snowballs pelted his back.

"WAH!" he cried, hurriedly throwing snowballs back in Goose's direction.

"Yeah, well at least I'm not named after a frickin bird who does nothing but crap everywhere and fly around in circles!"

"H-Hey, hey!" Goose threw his arms up to try to defend himself. "We fly in circles, but they're dangerous and fast circles. Okay? Besides..."

He ran back for his fort and made what looked like a bird with his hands, holding each other by each thumb as the fingers flapped.

"Look at this. It's what you couldn't do, even if you had wings, 'cause you're too fat."

"Hey shut the hell up, you stupid jerkwad!" Wario was a little pissed off now, so the speed and fury with which he pelted snowballs greatly increased. Oh yes, Goose was going to get what was coming to him.

Although, he figured the extra weight he carried made this weather more tolerable to him than it would to a twig like Goose, particularly if he was raised on that island with that beach that he showed him before. He was well-padded, but any part of his flesh that wasn't covered in something, like his face, was quite cold.

But the cold was easy to forget when one got caught up in the thrill of pelting snow at each other.

"Wait, woah, woah, okay, holy shit, what are you -- stop that!"

Goose was being drowned in snowballs. Totally drowned. Wario was right, too, about Goose's lack of padding and weak reaction to the cold. He was having a lot of difficulty handling it, and it was annoying the heck out of him.

He just sat there, unmoving and covered from head-to-toe in layers of snow.

Welp.

"... fuck you."

Revenge was sweet indeed. Oh yes. For all those snowballs and snide remarks. Wario's fury died down and turned into glee at having clearly won this fight.

"Wah ha ha ha! I'm-a-Wario, and I'm-a-gonna win!" Was that his catchphrase? Who knows. He did remember saying it all the time when he kicked Mario's ass at go-karting.

Maybe now was the time to celebrate his victory with a delicious mug of cocoa.

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badasscopters.livejournal.com - 2011-12-15 17:01 (UTC) - Expand

baby it's cold outside

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YOUR PUNS ARE SO PUNNY

THEY ARE THE WORST ヽ(#`Д´)ﾉ

NO THEY'RE FABULOUS

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