smash_logs | Was that always there? Bath House Open Log!

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Was that always there? Bath House Open Log!

Who: EVERYONE
What: Suddenly, BATH HOUSE.
Where: An unused janitor closet
When: Any time
Warnings: B for BARE BUTTS

In the halls, there was a janitor's closet. A non-descript janitor's closet, one that you probably passed many times along the way. But something was different... Steam was coming from beneath the doorway... And if you happened to open the door, instead of brooms and ~~making out students~~ cleaning supplies, you'd find something else entirely:

Somehow, an ornate bath house had appeared in the academy seemingly overnight. Where did it come from? Who knows? It's all yours!

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Ever since Hajime posted the suggested schedule for the bath house, Inigo had taken to hovering around the vicinity of the steamy closet door between the hours of 10 pm - 3 am. Oh, he was trying to be inconspicuous, innocuous and ever-so-innocent as he kept an eye on who came in and out, often times lingering in the area for upwards of half an hour. Sometimes he was even sweaty - especially if he was up after midnight.

From an onlooker's perspective, he certainly seemed like he was trying to scope out who'd be going into the bath before he went in. Hell, he'd even try chatting up any girls he ran into. But when it actually came to going inside, well... either he was especially sneaky about whatever he was trying to do, or he hardly ever worked up the nerve to go in at all.

Suspicious? Probably definitely. But really he was way, way too embarrassed at the idea of being anywhere around girls naked.

Just a few minutes passed 10, Brown was on his way to the janitor's closet. He decided that 10 was a good time, his excuse was mostly out of familiarity of a routine he used to indulge back home, but it was also party that he hoped people didn't listened to him and that the bath house was free of girls. ~~Then again, that won't elevate him from a certain possible future development...~~

He certainly had not expect a Mr. Cool Guy looking rather conspicuous in front of the door.

"Earth to Montoya," he whispered on Inigo's ear. "Doors are meant to be opened."

"GYEAAAHHH!"

Wow. What a cool guy. Inigo practically fell over himself with shock. He'd been so preoccupied that he hadn't noticed Brown come up behind him at all. Also, surprising someone by whispering in their ear was super creepy. SUPER CREEPY. Oh gods, what a heart attack.

Indignantly, the merc wheezed, "What the hell was that for?!" as he tried to compose himself again.

Okay, in retrospect, he could have done it with better tact. Though terrible as it is though, he was holding out his laughter, so much that Brown was having a hard time speaking up without going into his obnoxious 'GYAHAHAHA' laughter.

Look, it was just amusing alright. What a cool guy you are, Inigo.

Oh, laughing was he? That only made Inigo more huffy as he crossed his arms and continued to complain. "Oh, that's great. I hope you're having fun there."

...Still, even if it was at his expense, Brown was in good spirits. Inigo couldn't stay mad at that. His face was already softening into a begrudgingly amused grin as he added, "Just laugh it up, I think there's a few people at the end of the hall that can't hear your hysteric monkey noises yet."

Inigo said it, and so the floodgates were opened. Brown laughed obnoxiously loud but there was a sentence in there that sounding something along the lines of 'you should've seen your face!' Probably. It was hard to tell, with it mostly drowned over the sound of 'GYAHAHAHAHA'.

Surely, Brown's laughter would subside at some point, right?

.....

This may take awhile.

Wasn't this a bit too much laughter?

Inigo snorted, but in its way, it was still pretty infectious. He wasn't sure if Brown was laughing at him or just laughing for the sake of laughing - but that silliness was part of the fun, wasn't it? Getting so caught up in mirth that you can scarcely remember what sparked it, letting it take over you. Those were occasions to be treasured.

Sure enough, after a beat Inigo started laughing as well. Because sometimes you just had to laugh at yourself.

"Hahahaha!"

Eventually the laughter died to snickers before those were replaced with panting as Brown was gasping for air. It definitely put Brown in a good mood regardless, doubly so seeing as that Inigo showed no hard feelings over the little accident. Little in contrast to how they first met, anyways.

"Okay really though, what were you doin' just standing here anyways?" He finally asked once he was at least not as ragged of breath as before.

The first time had extenuating circumstances, Brown. Super extenuating.

"Who, me? Er..." Inigo had a second of shifty eyes before answering, "Just trying to figure out who's in the bath right now. After ten's supposed to be co-ed, so I was just..." ~~too embarrassed to go in~~ "...curious?"

Edited 2014-03-22 08:52 (UTC)

"Curious." He repeated, deadpan. Brown's grin slowly turned into a leer, "why's that? Never had somethin' 'like this' before back from where come from?" Oh, you can practically feel the air quotes on that remark even without Brown making the gesture.

Two could play at the leering game.

"What, a bath house? Never seen its like. But it sounds like you're already experienced with these things." Hint, hint.

"Oh- definitely, go to these places every now and then, no doubt." Which wasn't a complete lie, but never did he went to one where it was co-ed. Hannya would flip his lid at the very thought of it, he could just imagine the fumes coming out of his ears.

"T-thought you were curious, Blue, won't hurt to take a few steps forward" he challenged.

Ohhh no. He wasn't nearly bold enough to barge in when there were potentially actual women inside. Brown should clearly lead the way, between the two of them.

"Well, seeing as you're the more experienced of the two of us, shouldn't it be you who leads the charge? I'll follow suit, h-ha ha..."

Was this really the guy who acted like a smooth talker? Then again, he was also the same guy who ran from the dance class incident.

Again, then again, there might be more to this guy. On the worst case scenario, he was just as bad as Brown was, but nah, he couldn't be.

Brown could have think more through it, if he wasn't still worried over the possible chance there were girls in the bath now.

"F... first times should be taken in brave steps!" On impulse, he snuck a hand to push Inigo from behind. "C'mon... take one for the team."

"Wait--?" Brown must have used more strength than he meant to, because Inigo was pushed back just a step...

Well, the thing about bath houses was that sometimes the floors tended to be pretty slippery. Especially when people are tracking wet footprints in and out. The mercenary's boot stepped into one such puddle, and that momentary loss of friction was enough to send him sliding out of control.

"AUUUUGGHHH!" He careened backwards in an attempt to get his balance back and failed spectacularly, fell hard on his back, and then continued to slide several more feet into an vase filled with scented oils. Not noticing it in his scramble to get to his feet, Inigo reached out blindly with his hand for something to help steady him and knocked it over instead, spilling its contents all over him.

If it was hard to keep your footing on a wet floor, it was impossible while oiled up. He fell again and proceeded to roll ungracefully into the nearest bath, clothes and all, with a resounding SPLOOSH!

It all happened in a matter of seconds. Inigo resurfaced as quickly as he could, gasping for air and too dizzy to really make sense of what was around him.

When Inigo surfaced, he would quickly realize two things. First of all, he wasn't alone in the bath. Secondly, the other person in the bath with him was Shantae. Her hair was down, and her clothes were on a bench. A towel was all that protected her decency.

She clearly wasn't expecting any company, especially not the kind of company that fell into a room, slipped across a floor, and then fell face first into a hot bath. She just stared at him, trying to register what just happened, silently.

Okay, that sounded... pretty bad.

Overcome with concern, Brown rushed into the bath house to check on Inigo, discarding his initial shyness. He prayed that his new friend was alright, he shouted, "Inigo are you-"

Whoops sorry, brain under maintenance, come back another time.

With his brain gone and his body on autopilot, the only logical movement was to take a step back. Unfortunately for him, or perhaps it was the work of karma himself, Brown step on a bar of soap that made him moved forward. He panicked and try to get his footing by landing his other foot, only for it to be on the same oiled area that hit on Inigo the first time. In a similar fashion, he yelped just before finding himself landing on the on the hot bath himself.

Edited 2014-03-25 15:56 (UTC)

Inigo was busy wiping the water and oil from his eyes as he called out, "I can't believe this! Are you cursed? Did you curse me by proximity? Do curses even work that way?! What is wrong with--"

It was at that moment he managed to stand get his eyes open - and the first thing he saw was Shantae, wearing nothing but a towel, staring back at him.

"--yooou..."

The mercenary just froze. It was like someone had flicked a switch and turned his brain right off. All thought and feeling had taken leave, until Inigo was left with only blank, empty shock. His face had skipped red entirely and gone straight to purple.

An eternity passed before the capacity for thought returned to him, and it took the form of a single sentence.

I am going to die.

He tried to put up his hands in a gesture of innocence and feebly choked out, "I-it's not what you think!" but his brain was too entirely frazzled for him to register that maybe he should, you know, look away.

Okay, now she had TWO uninvited guests faceplanting into her bath. She held the towel a bit tighter as she watched the men freak out in front of her. She was half way between laughing at them and being angry at the interruption.

In the end, thanks to how utterly ridiculous this situation was, laughter won out.

The half genie girl burst out laughing at the sight of Brown and Inigo, scrambling in the water. Her free hand went to her face to try and stifle it, as she managed to ask, "And just what the heck am I supposed to be thinking right now?"

Inigo's complaints had fallen into daft ears as Brown's brain was still on the fritz, desperately trying to come out with any form of sentence repeating a mantra of 'I uhm's. It's hard not to, Shantae was gorgeousgorgeousgorgeous and in any normal circumstance would he ever see her bare. Even on normal circumstances, he would already feel a deep flush on his face at the thought, let alone to be on to experience it real time, where his brain had gone up to the hills.

Eventually, he manage to squeak, "I'm sorry this is all a huge misunderstanding!" All in a single breath. He quickly brought his own hands to cover his eyes, though they were also to cover his face, which was now ridiculously red.

"Yeah, one that was your fault!" Inigo turned his gaze onto Brown and jabbed him accusingly with his finger as he added, "I was trying to make sure the bath was empty! This talent of yours for escalating already embarrassing situations is frankly kind of... horrifying?!"

"Why is it that every time I see you guys, there's always some horrible misunderstanding going on?" she asked, taunting the two dorks. "So are you here to take a bath, or are you going to take this fight outside?"

"I want to take a bath!" Brown cried, overwhelmed. "And 's not my fault that some cosmic entity decides to over-exaggerate my flawless beauty with curse the worst luck, have ya tried to gamble with my luck? I'd either win home with a pot that would make the leprechaun happy or left stark naked. Man, isn't weird that-"

And this is the part he drowns himself because even he couldn't stand his nervous chatter. What a total dork.

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Was that always there? Bath House Open Log!

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never before have this icon been so precise

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sssslow and shorty

SO LATE

did someone say SUPER LATE