ffffooootbaaaaaallllll

[raced_god]

Who: Falcon, Max, and YOU. New team members, old team members. Lurkers. Cheerleaders?
What: FOOZEBALL TRYOUTS
When: BACKDATED Friday, September 27th.
Where: The football field.
Warnings: Whoooo even knows.

[It is a BEAUTIFUL late September evening. The sun is shining, the birds are singing, and the pants were dead the football field is clear, except for various equipment and crates of SPORTING GOODS.

Falcon and Max are already there, probably trying to out-man each other. Look at them. They are beautiful.]



[At six PM sharp, Falcon gathers the group together with a blow of the whistle.]

All right, ladies, listen up.

If you've played before, you probably know what's going on. But for the new guys--hi. Welcome. Obviously, if you're here, you want to be on the team, and you're going to have to show me that you deserve that spot.

Before we start, I want to go over a few things. I'm Falcon, your coach, if you don't know me. To my right is my assistant coach, Max, who I'm sure most of you already know. And he knows what he's doing, so listen to him.

Leave your personal vendettas at the door. Foul play will get you a one-way ticket out of here. I don't need jackasses and poor sports on this team. Old players? I don't want to see any slacking off. You guys are supposed to be the example.

What we're going to do today is easy. Football is all about power, speed, and teamwork, with emphasis on the teamwork. No one here is a star player, so don't act like one. Everyone just show me the best you've got.

We'll start with a warm up. I want everyone to get stretched out and introduce yourselves, especially if you're new. After that, we'll run a few laps.

[He gestures to the crates, then folds his arms in his best attempt to look authoritative.]

If you don't have gear, it's been provided. If you need help getting suited up, let one of us know. If we have time, I'll separate you guys into two teams and we'll have a scrimmage. Sound good?

Comments

[raced_god]

[Falcon knows what to do. His shirt does not explode off his chest, but he runs towards Max and claps a hand on his shoulder.]

Toss me.

[needsmorebiceps]

::Max looks down at the man clapping the boulder disguised as a man's shoulder::

[tank_rockarms]

Okay.

[needsmorebiceps]

::Maximilian Justice Powers grabbed Falcon by the shoulder with one hand, and by the waist with another. He hoisted him up (but the merest trifle; he weighed no more than a slender reed) and then spun around quickly. Evidently, in high school, Max had done the hammer throw. Because Max was doing a Falcon Hammer Throw(tm) as he launched the other man directly at Eggman's flying douchecraft.::

[iamtheeggman]

[Yep. That got their attention.]

WAAAAAIIIIITTT!!!

[raced_god]

[It is too late. Falcon has been launched high into the air, where he catches hold of a protrusion on the Eggmobile. He is already on fire, and terribly upset that both football tryouts and his punch have been interrupted.]

WHAT.

[star_punched]

[Mac the Boxer almost went in to punch too. But uh. This show was better. Before it was interrupted. DAMN IT EGGMAN.]

[iamtheeggman]

[Phew.]

Now that I have your ATTENTION... I have a CHALLENGE for you and your NEW RECRUITS.

[raced_god]

[It is very hard to be fearless and intimidating when you are hanging off the Egg Carrier.]

I'm listening.

[iamtheeggman]

I've come to see just how good YOU and your FLAMING HOBOS really are! So a challenge: Your team versus MY team.

[raced_god]

Where's your team?

[iamtheeggman]

[As if on cue, a squad of giant, burly looking robots stormed onto the field. They looked like Egg Pawns on steroids. They used to be tiny before they stole the talent of NFL players.]

Right there.

[raced_god]

Fine. We'll play you, provided there's no funny business.

[needsmorebiceps]

::Max is already sort of down there, picking a robot and using that robot to bash other robots over the head with.::

[iamtheeggman]

[Eggman looked down over the edge of his craft to see Max already at work trying to use his robot football players as weapons.]

I trust I can expect the SAME courtesy from YOU and your PET GORILLA?

[raced_god]

We'll play perfectly fair as long as you do.

He's not a gorilla.

[needsmorebiceps]

::SO MUCH VIOLENT CARNAGE AND GRUNTING::

[iamtheeggman]

I can see PLENTY of evidence to the contrary down there.