ffffooootbaaaaaallllll

[raced_god]

Who: Falcon, Max, and YOU. New team members, old team members. Lurkers. Cheerleaders?
What: FOOZEBALL TRYOUTS
When: BACKDATED Friday, September 27th.
Where: The football field.
Warnings: Whoooo even knows.

[It is a BEAUTIFUL late September evening. The sun is shining, the birds are singing, and the pants were dead the football field is clear, except for various equipment and crates of SPORTING GOODS.

Falcon and Max are already there, probably trying to out-man each other. Look at them. They are beautiful.]



[At six PM sharp, Falcon gathers the group together with a blow of the whistle.]

All right, ladies, listen up.

If you've played before, you probably know what's going on. But for the new guys--hi. Welcome. Obviously, if you're here, you want to be on the team, and you're going to have to show me that you deserve that spot.

Before we start, I want to go over a few things. I'm Falcon, your coach, if you don't know me. To my right is my assistant coach, Max, who I'm sure most of you already know. And he knows what he's doing, so listen to him.

Leave your personal vendettas at the door. Foul play will get you a one-way ticket out of here. I don't need jackasses and poor sports on this team. Old players? I don't want to see any slacking off. You guys are supposed to be the example.

What we're going to do today is easy. Football is all about power, speed, and teamwork, with emphasis on the teamwork. No one here is a star player, so don't act like one. Everyone just show me the best you've got.

We'll start with a warm up. I want everyone to get stretched out and introduce yourselves, especially if you're new. After that, we'll run a few laps.

[He gestures to the crates, then folds his arms in his best attempt to look authoritative.]

If you don't have gear, it's been provided. If you need help getting suited up, let one of us know. If we have time, I'll separate you guys into two teams and we'll have a scrimmage. Sound good?

Comments

LURKERSSS

[raced_god]

[yes we are really the flaming hobos]

[holydeath]

[Sister Hel is here as promised, looking as strict as ever. Except...she's wearing full battle armor. And carrying her mace and shield. It's almost as if she's expecting something to go down. Something rotten, like an egg.]

[travelingbelle]

[Blue was off on the sidelines, sling and all. She was totally here to watch her boy ask 1.5 million questions about balls and maybe eat one.]

[flamejock]

::WAVING WAVING WAVING WAVING WAVING WAVING WAVING::

[voltecpower]

[Pulse showed up, expecting a different kind of football. Oh, this was American Football. Nevermind then. His timeslot already booked, he decided to find a spot in the stands and watch. He had an opportunity to learn something new, at least.]

[raw_angel_power]

[Well look who's here!]

Hey, Pulse! You're not gonna join the team?

[voltecpower]

[Oh look it's the friend with wings. Bird? Angel? Angel person.]

Ah, no... No, not really, no.

[He has no idea how this game is played. Why is it even called football if they carry the ball most of the time.]

[pitticus]

[Be...cause the ball is around a foot long? WHO EVEN KNOWS.]

Oh. I see. So I guess you're just here to watch, then. That's cool! [He tilts his head a bit, like he's looking at something.] You know, now that I think about it, you kind of look like a football player.

[icequeen_aran]

[She can't believe it.

We are really finally the flaming hobos for real real and not for play play.

She's really sitting here for reals in a big over-sized team shirt, proudly a flaming hobo. ...Okay, proudly was very debatable but far be it for her to not be here and support the tryouts. They were always either hilarious or disastrous. Often both. Samus came prepared this time though, she had a huge bin of popcorn in her lap.

Probably much against her better judgement she was seated upwind of everyone else on the bleachers.]

[raced_god]

[We are the flaming hobos for real real, not for play play. Irony is delicious.

Wave

wave wave wave wave

are you proud to be a flaming hobo you better be]

[icequeen_aran]

[SHE'LL SEE IF SHE CAN SETTLE INTO IT. One flaming hobo in her life at a time. In the interim she will raise her hand in which there is a single popcorn kernel. The Captain Flaming Hobo is in her sights. She's lining up her shot.

She takes the shot.]

[raced_god]

[And it ssaaaaaaaaaails across the field and beans Falcon right between the eyes.

WHO DID THAT

WHO

WHO]

Hey!

[icequeen_aran]

[It sails inconceivably far and fast, likely guided by popcorn spirits who resided inside Mondo's golden crown of hair.

Damn she has good aim. What a perfect head shot. He'd totally be dead. All the better to perhaps lure him closer.

Samus, probably the only asshole in the bleachers with a tub of popcorn, lines up another shot and flicks it at him.]

[raced_god]

[whooooooo

The second shot, at least, gives him an idea. He whips around, sees Samus' giant bucket, points at his eyes, then points at her.]

TONIGHT

YOU.

[icequeen_aran]

[Her retort and rebuttal, a Samus Aran Tradition:]

[raced_god]

[Okay let him revise that.]

TONIGHT

COUCH.

[icequeen_aran]

OKAY.

MORE BED FOR ME.

[raced_god]

[Revising again.]

TONIGHT

YOU

COUCH.

[icequeen_aran]

[NO NOT ALLOWED. Flicking more popcorn at him while shouting across the bleacher like an adult.]

I HAVE OBJECTIONS.

[raced_god]

[POINT

point point point point]

NO OBJECTIONS.

[icequeen_aran]

YOU NEED MORE QUALITY TIME WITH YOUR SOCKS.

[raced_god]

I THINK YOU NEED MORE QUALITY TIME WITH--HEY!

[icequeen_aran]

[Shh no more yelling. Just a quick subtle if slightly lewd gesture with her hand that says more than words could say about him and him needing to spend quality time with his socks.]

[kuragekasa]

Yaaay~! You can do it, everyone~~~! How exciting!

[ oh my god crazy robot boy shut up ]

Re: LURKERSSS

[magicdancer]

[Shantae had never even heard of football before coming here. She wondered what all the fuss was about!]