GHOST POKEMON ANGEL ROBOT

[tank_rockarms]

Who: Max and Sonny
What: Max tries to take Sonny out to eat in FDC on the second night he's back in town. Things go downhill quickly.
Where: Gilded Stockade Buffet
When: May 16th. BACKDATED TO BEFORE EGGMAN.
Warnings: Image heavy. And literally the worst song ever made in the entire world.





Welcome to The Gilded Stockade, the restaurant where everything is covered in gravy or cheese and the points don't matter you can eat as much of it as you like.



"Are you ready to get your eat on?"



Sonny has been ready to get his eat on since he was still in the great wombegg at the beginning of time.



Hell yes, we've got brohugs.



Max can make Saved-by-the-Bell era eyeglasses appear out of nowhere.



Sunshine just kept them in his pocket.



The neckbeard stands for 'classy.'



"My pecs take up two seats."



SUDDENLY, A PROBLEM OCCURS PROBLEMATICALLY.



Sunshine, the peaceloving man that he is, tries diplomacy.



Noodlearms here appears to have made a tiny mistake.



Regular. Guy.



RACISM IS BAD, KIDS. MAKING UNVERIFIED ASSUMPTIONS IS BAD, KIDS. MAKING RACIST ASSUMPTIONS IS DOUBLE BAD, KIDS.



Regular. Guy. Arms.



Sunshine, again, with the oil of Olivier, attempts to assuage the restaurant worker's racist presumptions.



HE'S SO ANGRY HE TURNED INTO A MUPPET. A RACIST MUPPET. A RACIST MUPPET WITH ISSUES.



Major problems, bro.



MORAL: That guy over there could be a pokemon and you wouldn't even know. Not even a little bit.



With a capital "D," Sunshine. With a capital D.



I can't foresee any negative outcomes to this at all.



Sonny's jaw is so goddamned manly, that punching it caused Tad's noodlearms to rotate into the center of his chest. BADASS.



It's at this point that I realized that the best I can hope for in life is to be Sonny Moe.



That's probably all full of Snorlax sweat. Gross.



THE RACIST BUFFET POSSE IS HERE TO HELP OUT. With LADLEWOMAN and PRINGLES CHIPS GUY and TONGS THE BARBARIAN to help even out the score.



Oh. That's probably less effective than she was hoping.



Up for some fisticuffs, are we, Pringles Man? Maximilian will show you what's for, bully.
(Also: Re: Paps - It keeps happening)




WE ALREADY EXPLAINED THIS, TAD. MAXIMILIAN IS THE HUMAN. WERE YOU EVEN PAYING ATTENTION?



Maximilian sort of learned Bulk Up on his own.



Oh no, Older Pete, now with longer hair and a goatee, launches a PAP SQUARED attack at Sunshine! WHATEVER WILL SUNSHINE DO???



Oh okay that probably works.



My thoughts exactly, Tongs. My thoughts exactly.



CHEESE IT, IT'S THE COPS.



But Maximilian, because he's Lawful Stupid, decides that he'll be Arrested on Principle.



Sunshine goes along with it. Bros before resisting arrest.



This is going up all over the Intertubes, you know it. what the hell is wrong with the guy on the right


Thankfully, embedded with the police was an MNN (Mushroom News Network, bringing you the latest and most exciting news since Princessgate 1995; we were THERE at KARTSPLOSION 2002) news crew, doing a LIVE REPORT about how terrible FDC has gotten recently. (Wherever there's trouble, you know to look for Toaderson Cooper). They were there to catch the arrest.

You probably saw it like 27 times as they replayed it over and over and over again and had a bunch of talking heats bloviate about it for the better part of the evening.

Sonny: Tell that guy I punched I only did it because he threw a chair at me!
Max: I'm bein' arrested 'cause some guy thought I was a pokemon and punched my friend in the face. I ain't a pokemon, I'm a human. But there ain't nothin' wrong with bein' a pokemon. Sonny's a pokemon. Lots of people are pokemon. I been a pokemon like five times.
Sonny: Usually he's a just a regular guy with big arms.
Max: Everybody should be able to eat all they can eat at the all you can eat buffet, no matter who you are – human guys with big arms, pokemon, angel, robot, ghost or pokemon ghost or angel robot or ghost pokemon angel robot. Or the regular kind of ghost with the sheet and the party hat. Whatever you want.
Sonny: Oh gosh, Red, I'm so sorry. I'll wait for you on the inside.

Jim has such a cute accent

It was, of course, only a short while later until Mewtube was full of remixes of this. The next morning, the very famous and popular Grotle Brothers, famous founders of Automatically Tune the Newscast, got their hands on it and it went VIRAL. Nothing about what is below is good. I don't know how to autotune. I don't know how to make videos. I don't know how to do anything. Don't watch the thing below. Just don't do it. I tried way too hard and it sounds just absolutely hideous. Jim's better than me.

And so, our brave heroes are spending the night in the clink. They'll get out on bail late in the day on the 17th, but THEY'RE JAILBIRDS UNTIL THEN. INTERNET FAMOUS JAILBIRDS.

Max, bro, how do you feel about this, bro?



Yeah, me too, bro. Me, too.


((REACT BELOW (IC, OOC) OR GO VISIT IN THE JAILS, WHATEVS.))

Comments

[reservedempath]

[She sighs.]

Max, have you forgotten me already? Once upon a time you were drinking at the bar and asked Sonny and me when we were having kids. You don't remember that at all?

[Then she shakes her head.]

I actually came to check on both of you. And I wanted to know if what I saw on the broadcast was true. Can you tell me what happened?

[tank_rockarms]

Yeah, maybe you shouldn't ask me to remember things I said when I've been drinkin'.

But, I remember who you are. You name's Voile. I just figure you probably wanna talk to the guy you were datin' more than me.

I dunno what was on the news. What'd you see?

[punchthedoritos]

Hmm? A girl? Is it Voile?

[He lifted his head from Max's arm and rubbed his eyes. Oh. Look! It Was Voile! He was embarrassed by his current situation of course, but still very glad to see her.]

Hi. We... um... got arrested.

[reservedempath]

[She almost twitched when she heard Max. Rubbing the bridge of her nose, Voile looked between the two curiously.]

Because they assumed Max was a Pokémon? But they know he's not one now, so they're still holding onto you guys.

[She eyed Max.]

Why? The physical assault? That was self-defence.

[tank_rockarms]

::Max shrugged his shoulders:: You beat some guys up in a restaurant, you probably go to jail until things get sorted out.

I dunno, the place we went didn't use to be like that. Heck, it wasn't like that even a month ago or nothin'. But the guy workin' there told me pokemon weren't welcome. I told him that I wasn't a pokemon and that it didn't matter if I was or not. And then Sonny got punched. And things got rough from there.

[punchthedoritos]

I was really surprised. If I'd known he was going to do that I wouldn't of leaned in so close to show him my Snorlax teeth.

[Sonny slumped a bit.]

I used to really like going to that place with you, Max. I guess we have to find another place to go and eat pizza and Salisbury steak and frito pie...

[RUMBLEGURGLE]

...oops. My stomach woke up too.

[reservedempath]

[...But those guys they beat up were going to beat... Sonny and Max up.

Voile doesn't understand this at all.]

No. You guys won't need to find a new place to go.

[She grits her teeth.] We're going to find a way to fix this, so this whole stupid human versus sub-human thing ends! If you give up, Sonny, how do you expect anything to be fixed? You two might not be able to use your brawn, so we'll find another way.

[tank_rockarms]

Well, that's part of the reason why I started that club, for students who are still learnin' how to do human stuff. To show people how to get along; make a good example of how we should be livin'.

[punchthedoritos]

Well... I tried being nice and just explaining things. I really did. I was very polite until he called Max disgusting. That was just uncalled for. And then he punched me in the face. So...

[Frankly, he was stumped. This kind of fighting was pretty different to Pokémon battles. Those were fun. This was horrible.]

I don't know how I expect things to be fixed. I don't know how you fix something like this. I just wanted some dinner.

[reservedempath]

I dislike saying it, but I don't think being polite is going to help us here either. And consider that's coming from me.

[Because Voile's polite to everyone - even the people who don't deserve it.

Then she looks between the two with some interest. She hasn't forgotten Sonny's gurgling stomach.]

Are you guys hungry? I can bring you some food, if you'd like, but I don't know if they'll let me bring it in. I can at least try. By the Hoenn gods, I'm not sure how long they'll keep you guys locked up.

[tank_rockarms]

I got faith in the system.

::Of course you would, Max.::

We're gonna get outta here no problems tomorrow.

But I wouldn't say no to dinner. We didn't get any.

[punchthedoritos]

I don't understand the system. But I have faith in Max.

[Because Max knew a lot more about this stuff than Sonny. Right? Probably.]

I would really, really like something to eat. I haven't had anything to eat since this afternoon. But only if it's no trouble - I don't want the Policemen being rude or mean to you. They're kind of.... jerks.

[reservedempath]

[Max's words sort of sealed the deal to begin with. Sonny's just helped add to the feeling. Of course they were hungry. They didn't even get food from the restaurant they went to.]

It's not a big deal. I'll just... cover up or something. Should be anyway after the last time I thought it good to just wander around the town.

[She smiles.] What would you guys like? Remember, I've only got two hands, so try not to ask for too much.

[tank_rockarms]

If you can get to a grocery store that sells rotisserie chicken? Like four of those. Two for each of us.

[punchthedoritos]

I would LOVE a chicken. Oh! And maybe some dinner rolls? Like... Kaiser rolls? Those go good with chicken. Um. And maybe a bunch of bananas? For dessert? is that OK? I can pay you back once they let me have my wallet back. They took my wallet.

[reservedempath]

[Have they forgotten she only has two hands? She blinks for a moment and then gives a rather slow nod.]

Hm...
Okay. I'll pick up some... chicken and some rolls for you guys. Just try not to get yourselves into anymore trouble, okay?

[tank_rockarms]

::You can fit all of that in a couple grocery bags.::

I don't know what else we could do. Rip the bars outta the wall, I guess.

::Max looks contemplatively at them::

[punchthedoritos]

No, Max - don't do it. We'd get in so much trouble, I bet.

[Even if it would be easy enough for Max. And easy enough for Sonny if he really put his mind to it. Or switched forms.]

Whatever you can bring will be just great, Voile - thanks so much. I'm really sorry for this.

[Even if he was sure she'd say it wasn't a bother... well. She wouldn't be out here in the dangerous city if it weren't for him and Max.]

[reservedempath]

Just try to behave.

[She looks between the two with a smile.]

And don't worry. I'll be back in two shakes of a tail feather. With plenty of food. At least for the time being.

[Because Hoenn gods forbid Sonny should start eating his cell mate.]

[tank_rockarms]

We always behave.

::provided everyone else does::

[punchthedoritos]

[Don't worry, Voile - Sonny loves Max too much to ever want to eat him. Plus, he'd be tough and stringy and gamey as all get-out so a pretty dismal dining experience all told.]

I always try to.

See you soon, Voile! Thanks again! So much! You're the best!

[reservedempath]

[She wiggles her fingers at the two.]

As always, I have to protest, Sonny.
I'll see you guys in a bit!