The Great Excitebike Migration: As Narrated by Sir David Attenborough

[gunplay]

Who: Ocelot and ANYONE
What: EXCITEBIKES
Where: Campus hallways.
When: Dec. 20
Warnings: Motocross violence..? And swearing.

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[Seeking warmer dirt tracks free of ice to do sick tricks on, the annual Excitebike migration cuts a detour through the vast open hallways of the campus this year. The herd of tiny blocky motocross racers travels in close groups so as to avoid both predators and being lapped by the leader. Once they're on the move, there is very little that can stop them until they reach a finish line.]

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[Naturally, Ocelot is out on patrol, spinning his guns, when he hears the buzzing of many tiny engines. But it is too late-- there is nowhere to run.]

[He barely has time to scream before they hit him. And when they're gone around the corner and the dust settles, Ocelot is left sprawled on the ground, his Spetsnaz uniform covered in little tire tracks. Déjà vu.]

...Son of a bitch...

Comments

[loveisbloominginmypants]

[Okay. If he were dead maybe Snake wouldn't be laughing. Or maybe he would. Once he sees Ocelot move, however, he knows he'll not have the opportunity to find out.

With half a mind to either kick Ocelot's gun away, or to step on it, something in him refrains and instead, he chooses to wait. It's like dinner and a show.

And then Snake, while not trusting, has just a sliver of compassion. He leans over just enough to offer a hand down to Ocelot, meant to help pull him to his feet, not push his face into the ground.]

[gunplay]

[...And then Ocelot half-swoons in his arms. Not because he's surprised that Snake helped him, or even because he's a dramatic person, but because he's been knocked around so much by the invasion of tiny racing fanatics that getting to his feet so suddenly makes him dizzy.]

Ugh...

[He clings tightly to that beefy arm while he sorts out what's happening.]

Snake?

[Wait... which Snake? He can't see the eye while he's draped over his arm.]

[loveisbloominginmypants]

[If it were any other situation, Snake would probably just let him fall back to the ground. But even though he's never been run over by a bike, he can just imagine the toll it takes on the body.

His other arm reaches around to help keep Ocelot stable and he gives something of a half smile - mostly because Ocelot can't see it.]

The one and only.

[A clone joke there, sort of. Not really bitter, but who knows how Snake really feels about being a clone. Except maybe a little betrayed, and ever constantly wondering what life would be like if he wasn't one.]

[gunplay]

Right.

[He twists in his grip suddenly, whether Snake continues to support him or not, so he can aim the gun down the hall. Of course, they had turned a corner, but he figures he can easily bounce a bullet around it anyway.]

[But when he pulls the hammer and squeezes the trigger, nothing happens. Not even the telltale click of an empty round. He tries again, still with no effect, then brings the revolver back up to examine it. It only takes a moment for him to realize that the firing mechanism must be busted.]

Damn!

[loveisbloominginmypants]

[Snake watches him with some slight interest. His head tilts just enough to get a look at the major and for many moments, he says nothing. But the actions with the gun he can't seem to understand. Why in the world would he think his gun still worked after being mowed down by bikes?

But then Snake's the one who was trying to avoid mistletoe by crawling around in a box. And beyond that, the guy didn't even have his gun on him. He's smart enough to have it on him today, however, and will have one tomorrow, and the day after that. Captain Falcon had an admittedly good idea when he reminded the man he should have one.

Finally, he gives Ocelot a bit of a shake.]

...
Guess you're out of commission for a bit.

[gunplay]

[Ocelot feels terribly impotent now. It's very rare that he's without a working gun. At least Snake's shaking snaps him out of his pouting.]

[He puts the useless gun in its holster. There's other things to fret over, like how the racers left dirty tire tracks all over him. He tries to scrub at the marks on his face with his hands.]

...Only a little bit. [He has two more revolvers at his dorm, and a unit of armed soldiers at his call. Whom will be ordered to shoot all motocross racers on sight next time he meets them. He turns to look Snake over, noting that he's packing his own heat this time.]

It looks like you have the advantage for now, Snake.

[A pity. He wouldn't mind being on equal footing with him... if it meant they could fight hand-to-hand.]

[loveisbloominginmypants]

[Snake waits until he's relatively certain Ocelot can support himself. He's never imagined that he'd actually help the guy. Even in smaller ways, Snake wonders if the academy's made him turn a little soft. But he considers people like Samus and Eli and realises that there's a difference between minute respect and being soft.

Ocelot's words spur him to settle his right hand about where he's hiding his gun. Oh so that's what he meat by 'packing heat'...]

Only a little bit. [He says with a crooked smile. Well, almost a smile.] Don't worry; I'm sure in a couple days you'll feel like a man again - instead of a race track.

[Ha. Ha.]