smash_logs | It's gonna cost you about tree-fiddy

Entry tags:

It's gonna cost you about tree-fiddy

Who: Samus Aran, Adam Jensen, Captain Falcon and Rick
What: Once upon a time Adam coerced a list of dateable ladies out of Rick to make his little robot life miserable, Miss Aran being on said list. This will obviously go well when Falcon gets involved.
Where: ~~dateland~~ PROBABLY somewhere in FDC depending on wherever they go
When: After this, Sept 29th, 8pm.
Warnings: B for bounty hunters, F for probable face punches, C for date creeping and R for rickbots

[He'd left a terrible first impression. He was infuriatingly smug and after reanalyzing her network post, it shouldn't have come as any surprise that the new security guy had taken a peek at her accidental mis-encryption. Terrible first impression, infuriatingly smug, and annoyingly nosy to boot.

And somehow Adam's lunch offering had turned into dinner one.]

It's almost eight.

[As she busied herself with last minute appearance preparations (which really didn't consist of much; a leather jacket, plain shirt, worn jeans, hair down and no make up--the usual for this time of the year for a casual outing) she wondered why she was even bothering to go through with it when she had a boyfriend she was, despite her strong sense of independence, quite loyal to. Morbid curiosity? Her pride? A free meal? Shenanigans? Yeah, that sounded about right: bounty hunter shenanigans.]

I'm heading out.

[Either way, Samus would stubbornly insist it's not a date and that Falcon would, for intents and purposes, make sure Adam never pulled a stunt like this again. She just didn't know yet if that would also result in a lifetime of embarrassment from her significant other, as that was also entirely likely. Samus also wasn't sure if it was too late to salvage the secrecy of their home location--a firehouse in the middle of the woods not far from the school--but damn it if she wouldn't try. She took her bike back to the school's dimly-lit parking lot and waited for pick up there, looking very devil-may-care and waiting to be impressed.

...really, the worst thing that could happen tonight was that she or Falcon might decide Adam was an okay guy.]

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[ Excuse you, Miss Aran, Adam is actually an amazing guy. And also he really does have no ulterior motives here except wanting to be social while pissing Rick off at the same time. Adam does take his job seriously but given where he ended up here... he doesn't feel like it's too big of a responsibility. Might as well get to know his co-workers better, even if they apparently have no desire to get to know him better.

Anyway, while Samus is waiting in the parking lot, Adam will arrive in a FASHIONABLE CAR TO PICK HER UP ~~which he probably stole~~.

To be honest, he's sort of surprised she came at all. But hey, this will be nice. ]

[~~Adam that looks stolen~~. Not a bad looking car, though Samus had long since been very spoiled by the Blue Falcon. She gave it a very blatant look over and shrugged, as if to say 'it's sufficient.'

She wasn't a very shallow or superficial woman but it was better than being picked up in Kyle's old station wagon, anyway.]

At least you're not late.

[She'll let herself in and buckles herself in.]

Edited (oops strikeouts) 2012-10-09 05:57 (UTC)

[ Trololol, he likes how she just gets in without wasting much time with formalities. He'd give her a compliment but after all this is not a date and he doesn't get the impression she bothered to style herself anyway; even so she's a natural beauty.

So yep, get in and we'll drive right to the city! Adam is actually a decent driver. ]

In the mood for anything specific, Miss Aran?

[She occasionally peeked down at her phone every now and then but for the most she let her eyes roam over the interior of the car; carefully taking note of every detail, his driving habits, the faint smell of smoke lingering in the seat cushions, and so forth. She took a few moments to answer, knowing her answer but baiting him with silence.]

Steak.

[She liked her meat and it was probably going to be pricey to boot. An added bonus.]

Steak is fine.

[ Steak is awesome. He was gonna suggest that, actually. That or pizza. Or tacos.

He's really not picky when it comes to food. And with his implanted energy converter, he has even less reason to watch his diet. ]

Steak it is.

[ Which means a steakhouse. He's actually seen one when he'd been in the city before; didn't try it yet but it's an excellent opportunity, he thinks. ]

That your favorite?

[ Steaks are a good conversation starter. He can go from there. ]

It's good any time of the day. That's a bonus in my book.

[Not that Samus really adhered to typical meal conventions and not that it was quite her favorite... but it was a treat, any time of the day. Steak and eggs were one of the few things she knew how to cook well.

She's not really in the mood for small chat but a large point of her motivation to obliging Adam was a natural curiosity. He was a weird guy.]

You have a favorite?

Mexican. Spicy stuff. Indian, too.

[ Though honestly he isn't too picky. There are certain things he likes more than others, sure. ]

I really like curry.

[ But he can have that on some other day. Also, he's already driving into the parking lot of the steakhouse. ]

[Duly noted. She'll similarly eat just about anything, begetting some kind of cast-iron stomach in some regards. Freaky space genetics, et all.

By the time they arrive her stomach is admittedly growling a little. She's been in and out of FDC for a while but never to this particular steakhouse.]

I've never eaten here before.

One more reason to try it, then.

[ And once he's parked the car, Samus will have to wait until Adam opens her door because it's LOCKED and he's gonna let her out and offer her a hand like a true gentleman, ok. In fact, he will be instinctively opening all doors and treat her like a lady because Adam is fairly old-fashioned when it comes to these things. Or just respectful.

Even if Samus can lift vending machines. ]

Does your boyfriend know where you are?

[ ... this is a shot in the dark. Adam doesn't know for sure if she has one, but it's the perfect way of finding out if a) she has one and he needs to be extra careful, b) doesn't have one and he can turn it into a compliment NO REALLY? THAT'S A SURPRISE or c) she's gay and he needs to be extra EXTRA careful. Mostly so he won't end up looking like an idiot. ]

[Her years with Falcon have made her more receptive to gestures like this, though Adam is no Falcon so she's looking for that door lock ADAM DID YOU LOCK HER IN AUGH oh wait he's opening the door for her oh... oh he's being nice. Okay. She'll. Let him do that. She hesitates in taking his hand because that's a big deal for her but even lets him open the restaurant door.]

He'll probably find out, soon enough.

[He's a hunter like her, after all. It's what they specialize in.]

[ BOYFRIEND PRESENT then okay. Which means Adam will behave--although, he usually behaves. Samus is a very attractive woman but he's still sort of butthurt over Megan and everything that happened, so it'll take a good long while before he'll even consider seriously dating someone again.

And she's taken anyway, so whatever. They can just have a nice evening together. ]

I hope he doesn't get the wrong idea.

[ He'd hate having another prank played on him.

Anyway a few minutes later, they're inside the steakhouse, being led to a table for two. Again, Adam is a real gentleman during all of that, polite but never touchy-feely. ]

[She's not going to agree or disagree with that--hell, Samus could probably use some actual friends, provided this evening wasn't a complete train wreck. Which is frankly, what she's expecting. But for now, those thoughts were in the back of her mind as her appetite was leading the way.]

Edited (oops forgot a bracket. AND WRONG ICON.) 2012-10-16 17:16 (UTC)

[MEANWHILE, Falcon is not terribly happy about the situation. He's not a stranger to other male faculty (and sometimes students) macking on his long-time girlfriend, but it frustrates him every time and continues to make him INCREDIBLY ANGRY, and it makes him angrier that Samus humors it.

So when she told him about this dinner, he'd begrudgingly accepted it, all the while planning to be his nosy, jealous self. He would be a terrible person. He would tail Samus and make this guy's experience miserable.

He would punch this guy in the face, and it would be awesome.

He gives the other bounty hunter a bit of a head start before taking off on his own bike, making his way to the school through back roads and HIDING IN THE WOODS LIKE A TOTAL CREEP while he watches them take off. After giving them a suitable head start, Falcon makes his way into the open parking lot, charting the direction of their departure.

It's on.]

[Rick, able to have easy access to the network, was keenly aware of the conversation Adam had with that blonde bombshell. Seriously? That jerk was going outta' his way on some lame date-crusade just piss him off.

It was of course, working, as Rick uttered a string of frustrated growls, grunts and curses from the lower floor of the library with his face (or lacktherof) smooshed tightly up against one of the windows overlooking the parking lot.]

Sweetheart no. No... Nodon'tdoitdon'tgetinthecar. DON'T DO IT, IT'S A TRAP. NO. HE'S NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU. I AM. You're makin' a terrible mistake! ...NO.

[She even left her beautiful bike here, which was just as much of a shame! Hey... maybe he could hijack it and drive it off and tell her what an awful life choice she was obviously making and then she'd go oh Rick you're so handsome thank you for saving me??? and the both of them would drive off into the sunset and Adam would watch and cry tears except they'd all get caught under those weird sunglasses of his and he'd drown. Yeah.

So Rick scooted himself to the very end of the management rail, then LAUNCHED HIMSELF AT FULL SPEED, BURST THROUGH THE FUCKING WINDOW AND ROLLED ON THE GROUND several yards and across the parking lot, stopping not more than a few feet from Samus's bike.]

Ugh... missed the seat. That's okay I can...

[He wiggled rather furiously towards the bike.]

...just gotta'

[Rick was, largely ignoring the presence of the other guy until his wiggling was proving largely ineffective.]

Hey. Guy. Can you give me a hand up on this here bike? Don't ask any questions--it's an emergency. There's a woman in perilous danger.

Edited (i nouned an adjective halp) 2012-10-11 06:51 (UTC)

[Falcon was just about to get this show on the road when OH GOD SOMETHING JUST SMASHED THROUGH A WINDOW.

It was one of those robot eyeballs, apparently distressed that Samus was leaving with Adam. Which, okay, fine, he was distressed about that too, but this was frantic, as this tiny guy's entire world hinged on the fact that

He looked down at the little robot curiously--Falcon had to admit he was mildly fascinated by them, in a "why would you build robots this eccentric" sort of way. But his apparent awareness of the situation was more intriguing. Falcon hopped off his bike and VENTURED CLOSER.]

Yeah, I know.

[He wouldn't be here if he didn't think there was PERILOUS DANGER...to his manly integrity.]

I'm going after her. What do you know about all this?

[He knew? Had AJensen's evil butt-probing clutches reached so far that now he was taking over humans too?]

That jerk who's HGNN--

[Unfortunately for Rick, Adam's programming to dissuade any negative disingenuous assertions of the guy in question extended also to HIMSELF... The robot eyeball quite visibly struggled with what he was saying.]

--I mean a REALLY GREAT HGK AWESOME GUY. Nice. Guy.

[GROAN.]

Look, there's not a lotta' time to explain. He planned this whole thing out--systematically goin' after every woman in the school like some love conquistador. He's got to be stopped.

Edited 2012-10-11 21:23 (UTC)

[Man, this robot was weird.

But he obviously knew things--things about Adam, that Falcon could most certainly use when he decided to punch him in the face. Already he was giving incredibly useful information, even if all it really did was make the Captain hate this guy more.

Perhaps he and this weird little robot could help each other.

He didn't even ask before lifting Rick by the handle, re-mounting his bike and settling the personality core in his lap.]

I need you to tell me everything.

Hey! What are you-- [Oh for the love of-- Rick was getting kind of tired of being MANHANDLED by MANHANDS and not LADYHANDS and being ordered around, swiveling about in his casing rather erratically until he was safe and secure between Falcon's legs.

...Safe and secure being a relative term since he obviously wasn't thrilled sitting in some guy's lap.]

No funny business back there, you hear me? I know all about pressure points and you humans got a lot of breakable ones in your groinadal plexus and all that.

[It was a momentary gripe because hello gorgeous, this was one hell of a bike. Rick was distracted for a few moments before remembering there was plenty to tell.]

Right--this Jensen guy's crazy. Like some kind of cyborg ninja, appearing outta' thin air and thrownin' vending machines at people. I mean who does that?

You know who throws vending machines? Crazy people.

No funny business. I'm Falcon.

[And Falcon had already decided that Rick had no choice in the matter. His talk of pressure points and breaking things got little more than a roll of the eyes, because come on, dude, you were a metal beach ball.

He kicked the bike in gear and took off out of the school parking lot in pursuit of Adam's fancy-but-not-as-fancy-as-the-Blue-Falcon car.

Cyborg ninja, huh.]

I've taken on worse. How do you know him?

Rick.

[Okay he's gonna' take him on, that's mildly better than... not... taking him on. Not that Rick wasn't planning on not taking him on.]

Uh,

[Yeah no way in hell Rick is going to admit what really happened.]

We're coworkers. But he went rogue once he heard how many dates I'd been on. Threw him into into some jealous rage, tossin' vending machines around, screamin' about how his ugly HGGK-- stupid sexy arms and legs never got him anywhere and his sunglasses fused to his face and he couldn't help not lookin' as attractive as someone like me. Broke the poor crazy guy's brain. Couldn't take it.

Can't blame him, it was a pretty big number of dates.

[Rick.

The robot's name is Rick, and Rick is probably delusional.]

Uh-huh.

But they CRUISED ALONG, zooming in the direction of where Adam and Samus were presumably headed. Falcon, of course, had his own plan, but he can't help but be IDLY CURIOUS.]

So what's your plan?

[Pick out the truths in his story.]

What's the plan?

[Dude, that's his line. QUICK, THINK OF A PLAN...]

Alright, so we bust in there guns blazing and say somethin' like, "I hope you have an appetite for danger, 'cause this is your Last Meal."

[...]

Or, wait wait no... say somethin' like, "I hope you saved room for dessert, 'cause this is your Last Meal."

[That sounded like

not a very good plan at all.]

Too overt. This is a delicate situation.

[As much as Falcon would enjoy indulging this 80s movie robot's 80s movie fantasies, he knew that it wouldn't be a very good idea to waltz right in and start punching.]

We're going to do a little recon, first.

...alright. Alright, fine I can dig a little stealth and recon.

Who's taking point?

Me.

[It's not that Falcon didn't trust this robot not to keep quiet and do as he says. It's that he didn't trust this robot not to keep quiet and do as he says.]

There will be punching. I promise.

[And so, they were off.]

Alright, fine.

[THERE'D BETTER BE.]

[Now that they're seated, drinks ordered and comfortable, she's going to feign reading over the menu.]

Sooo. Jensen. Security, nosy on the network, and able to move vending machines around without breaking a sweat. What else is there?

[ WELL isn't that an interesting question. One he can think about while their drinks are being brought, and Adam speaks a few words of gratitude, then takes a sip of his water. ]

Is that a rhetorical question?

[ Because lol, shades. HANDS. ]

You want me to assume your face was an accident or done on purpose?

[Ouch.]

[ Ouch indeed. But Adam's expression doesn't waver, like usual. ]

How about a mix of both.

[ Seriously what's wrong with his face though. He likes to think he looks pretty okay...... the shades might be a bit weird, granted. ]

[She's just giving him a hard time--she's hardly that shallow.]

That sounds like a story.

[She looks like she would like to be obliged by a story.]

[MEANWHILE, in a shady corner of the restaurant, a perky redheaded waitress was wondering why this guy had brought a robot out to eat.

Falcon had arrived and made sure to be incredibly discreet, pinpointing Samus' location and keeping her in his sight even as he asked to be seated in an equally discreet booth. It wasn't difficult to watch the blonde and this Adam guy. What was difficult was keeping Rick's 80s action hero in check.]

I should have left you with the motorcycle.

Excuse you, you should check your butt privilege every once in a while. I still can't see anything.

[Rick is trying really hard to get a glimpse of Jerky McJerkface Adam and the Hot Blonde he's with, to no avail. He barely comes up to the table in his seat, the semi-concealing napkin wrapped around him looks more like a bandana and the menu is precariously balanced in front of him via his handlebars. For what it's worth, he's kind of trying to keep his voice down.]

Nothin' but a forest of kneecaps and tablecloths and crotches down here. What're they doing?

[ WELL, righ then, they were still waiting for their food to be served. Rick is sort of lucky that he just shows up as another generic green dot on Adam's radar, otherwise, someone might get suspicious. ]

I was mortally wounded in the line of duty and got turned into this.

[ That's the short version, because. Also he's quoting from RoboCop like the nerd he is, but he doubts Samus gets the reference. ]

[Falcon levels Rick with an incredulous glance.]

They're just talking.

[FOR NOW.]

Want me to ask for a booster seat?

No I don't want you to get me a booster seat. Would you sit in a booster seat? No. No you wouldn't. It just ain't manly.

[There happened to conveniently be a stack of booster seats just behind the dark shady table they were seated at.]

...did he just quote Robatacop?

[She gives pause... like that line might be registering something somewhere in her memory. Samus is indeed, very pop culture retarded, though she's made some improvement during her time at Smash Academy.]

...

[She narrows her eyes suspiciously at Adam for a moment but can't pinpoint it, and gives up. The phrase 'line of duty' implies something close enough to her, however.]

Law enforcement?

[Falcon and Rick go undetected by her. So far, so good, boys.]

[ Hey, RoboCop is really fucking old. He'd be surprised if she got that. Adam wasn't even in the planning stages when those movies came out, but they were cult classics and Adam loves classy shit.

Ahem. Anyway, there meals are being served now. Delicious steaks and whatever else they'd wanted. Adam just went for some mashed potatoes and gravy. ]

Before I went into private security, yes. Less paperwork, pays better.

[ More liberties. ]

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It's gonna cost you about tree-fiddy

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