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Who: Byrne and ANYONE
What: MARTIAL ARTS CLASS?
Where: Gymnasium
When: Friday, September 14th
Warnings: ~~BIRN PLS~~ Byrne is kind of an asshole.

It had been over a year since Byrne came to this Academy. He arrived shortly after the beginning of the term last year, immediately teaching his first class.

Unfortunately, at that time, he was still in his old mindset, still recovering from the whole ordeal with Malladus. Even now, he hadn't changed much, but things had gotten a bit... better. Except for the fact that Zelda was here. Her arrival brought back things that he didn't want to think about, including the immense guilt of what he did to her.

Not that he'd show any guilt.

Either way, though, he had spent last year forcing his students to do excruciating drills, only giving minimal teaching of the actual martial arts. But maybe this year would be different. After realizing that people can and will die here, maybe it would be for the better to impart some of his fighting wisdom onto them.

So, while Byrne of course was still going to make his students do ridiculous drills, he also brought out some training dummies ~~kind of like the kind in the Sims 3~~ and such. This was going to be interesting.

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In the least muncest-y of ways, Kanji showed up to this class. He had heard... mixed things about it, but decided to give it a shot anyway.

Byrne certainly was not feeling any sort of horrible muncest vibes when he eyed Kanji coming in.

Instead, he inwardly sighed as he saw the boy's attire: skull and crossbones everywhere, it seemed. Trying too hard.

This was very obviously not a muncest-y log at all, so Chell also showed up.

She wanted to learn how to defend herself, as it was indeed a useful skill in life. Too bad it probably didn't work against robots... But she had to start somewhere.

No muncest here, nope. This was a muncest-free log.

He saw her boots, though, remembering the affairs with Wheatley and GLaDOS, so he stared for a moment. Well, those boots were useful, he supposed.

In a startlingly non-carbonated move, Jon had shown up to class again this year.

He generally refused to do many of the drills, but any time he'd been given the opportunity to actually do any Martial Arts, he'd excelled. Of course.

And Byrne was hardly surprised to see Jon there. He was the best student in the class, but his attitude needed a dial on it.

So he gave a general nod in Jon's direction.

Knuckles was here again, happy to be taking a physical class even if it wasn't exactly what he'd been expecting, judging by last year's performance. He really didn't like Byrne much, but he was at least a duitiful student who did as was instructed.

However, the sight of Knuckles just annoyed him. Maybe he was a better student than Jon, and maybe he actually did the work, but the guy needed to staple his mouth shut.

Just as he said he would, ~~the wimpiest character in the class so far~~ Chili arrived for class. Even though he looked pretty inexperienced compared to some of his classmates (and probably was), he looked like he was ready to tackle whatever his instructor had to throw at him, literally or figuratively. He looked ready and raring to go, as expected of the Fire-type gym leader.

Byrne did remember the kid from their conversation in the forest. Well good, he's glad that you showed up, Chili. A man of your word.

Now let's see if you can last longer than three seconds.

~~.......DOUBTFUL~~

Normally, Zelda would have forgone the typical gymnasium-based classes. Sword training was about the only thing that could be useful to her here. After all, there was no point in bodybuilding without a body to build, and there was no guarantee that the motions she practiced in armor would be retained once she got her body back. Muscle-memory doesn't apply to the muscle-less.

And yet here she stands, armor-clad and ready to participate, despite her curious circumstances making this wholly unnecessary. Her ulterior motive for signing her name to the roster is obvious, and she doesn't seem to mind it.

"Good day, teacher."

The clang of armor definitely catches Byrne's ears as he turns around to see who it is. And the voice.

He tries not to react with shock or surprise or anger, even though he really wanted to. And he knows why she's here; martial arts wouldn't do much in that body of armor, and any fitness she gained wouldn't translate well to a body. If she ever got her body back.

So, in response Byrne simply nods and mutters, "Good day, Princess." Trying not to act out of the ordinary.

Sadly for Byrne, mumbled greetings are not where this ends. She meets his lack of energy with enough pep to fill in a conversation between four people.

"This is actually quite the surprise, you don't strike me as the teaching type! What struck you with the desire to impart your fighting prowess upon your young charges here?"

A quick glance around the room demands an amendment: "And not so young, I suppose."

He wishes that's where the conversation ended. He really wished.

And her cheery attitude is just causing him more irritation. Why isn't she mad at him? She probably is, but she's just toying with him, and it's driving him crazy. Why did she have to show up? Was she taunting him in front of his class?

He wasn't even sure if he should grace her with an answer, because he barely even knew why he was teaching himself.

"I find it sad that most of these students can't even throw a punch, that's why."

To begin the class, Byrne would subject his students to a "warmup" of sorts.

Well, it wasn't anything his previous students weren't familiar with. It was more of the same: sprinting, relays, backpacks, crabwalks, etc. Enough to make the average person almost collapse.

However, it only took up maybe the first twenty minutes of class, so CONSIDER YOURSELVES LUCKY.

Surely Byrne had given up on nagging at Jon to do drills by now, right? The Werewolf was sitting off to the side, looking stoic and linefaced and drinking tea from a thermos.

And the Echidna was his usual over-achieving self. Sprinting about like a little red race car, doing all the pushups - all of them. You don't get any. Borrowing the heavy weighted backpacks from other students so that his own stack was more than anyone else could lift and their jobs were considerably easier, and basically being a huge showboat.

....hey, if he had to do this stuff he was at least going to have fun with it.

Chell did her best to keep up, remembering all those annoying comments from GLaDOS and Wheatley about her supposedly being "fat."

It wasn't that she was self-conscious about her weight, but she obviously wanted to prove those assholes wrong. She did her best to hide her struggling, but toward the end of it she was rather exhausted.

~~Ha, I was right all along.~~

NOOOOOOOOOOOO THIS AVERAGE PERSON CAN'T KEEP UP thank you, Byrne, for making it real hard for average people. Raining on Chili's parade. Chili mostly wasn't expecting this sort of treatment because this was his first time as a student at Smash Academy, and that was, indeed, enough to wear him down.

And almost collapse. Just as predicted. He didn't look so sure of himself anymore, now did he? Chili scowled and tried to catch his breath after it was all over. HARSH.

So, after the drills were over, the students were probably completely worn out. Too bad for them.

This class, then, was going to be spent learning basic arm-jabs.

He stared coldly at the class, evaluating all of his students. Many of them looked fairly weak, although there were some who were probably capable of at least the basics.

And he began demonstrating basic arm maneuvers, attempting to explain them, although words often failed him. You had to feel the attack, and he couldn't exactly convey that through words. So, his speaking was rather limited.

"Oi. Old man." Jon barked. "Are we all having to start off with baby steps, then? Or is this the grand sum total of your martial arts expertise?"

He did a few and followed them up with some nice complimentary moves, stringing them into a flashy combination.

And Byrne glared over in Jon's direction, already having taken note of his non-participation in drills. He had been used to it, of course, but he should have merely shut up like a good student.

"Not everyone has your expertise, Jon."

He ignored Jon's flashy moves for now, knowing that they were silly ways to fuel his ego. (Byrne, of course, did not see the hypocrisy in this at all.)

"Maybe I ought to take up a position on staff as an Advanced Martial Arts teacher?" Jon replied. "You can teach the little stuff, and I'll show the Fighters how it's done?"

He gave Byrne a rare smirk.

And he continued glaring, his ego slightly damaged by that insult.

"If you truly think that you are more advanced than me, then I don't know why you're taking this class.

"Told you my first day in your class - easy A." Jon replied, shrugging. "That and this is more fun than needlepoint or algebra or whatever else runs about this time of day in the other classrooms."

Really, Byrne should fail Jon since he refuses to do drills, but he was never concerned much with grading. Jon did excel, so he usually graded him well.

"I wouldn't be teaching this class if I didn't have the credentials," he muttered.

"Exactly. So why we spend most classes doing drills I've no idea." Jon replied. "I mean, this is a definite step up - twenty minutes over the whole half hour, I grant you that. But arm jabs? Come off it, son - we could be at least pairing arm jabs up with foot work."

He demonstrated, doing several arm jabs in a small variety of stances and motions.

Jon why are you such an asshole.

Here Byrne is trying to be nice and keep the pace for the students who really suck. And you're just mean.

"As I've said, not everyone in this class is that advanced. Have you looked around? I doubt many of them could handle more than one thing at a time. This has nothing to do with my abilities."

And he's doing his best to remain calm, but damn those eyes look fierce.

He just is.

"I think the midget in clown shoes can handle it, even if he is a bit of a tosser. Kanji's alright, too. And those that can't either sink or swim. I've taught before, you know."

He actually had trained young people in Kung-Fu before. He'd done his share of drills with them, but much, much less than Byrne.

"....midget in...? Hey! Fuck you, buddy!"

"...my point still stands. Besides, it was a compliment. Sort of."

Oops, sorry Jon, Byrne's just going to ignore you now.

He makes a personal note in his head to give Jon an F, though. How's that for your easy A?

Knuckles was familiar with arm jabs - in fact, so familiar with them that after the first few, his poor dummy was looking very much worse for wear. Well, actually, it was split in half.

"Are we allowed more than one?"

Oh, that stupid red hedgehog thing. Or whatever it was. Knuckles.

And like with Jon, Byrne attributed the split dummy to really annoying attempts at showing off.

"No." A deadpan stare. "You aren't."

"What? Budget for this class really that small? Fiiiine."

He rolled his eyes and continued smashing his dummy with arm jabs until it was basically kindling.

There was obviously just a massive amount of bull headed, testosterone fuelled guys in this room.

Once he was done demonstrating, Byrne had watched the class perform their haphazard attempts at fighting with the arms.

He wasn't very happy with what he saw.

However, he decided to shut up for now. After all, the best way to see if something was effective was to put it to use.

So Byrne told people to break into pairs and use what they learned.

((OOC: So basically someone can comment, and if you want to pair with that character, then just comment to their thread.))

C'mon bros. He'll take you on.

And so Knuckles went looking around for a partner to practise with.

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ATTENDANCE/ARRIVAL

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DRILLS HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

What's that? Sit down and drink tea? Sure.

Re: DRILLS HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

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Not here

Re: DRILLS HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

ACTUAL TEACHING???

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BREAK INTO PAIRS OR SOMETHING

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Re: BREAK INTO PAIRS OR SOMETHING

QUESTIONS?

OTHER STUFF