I PASSED GO WHERE IS MY $200

[un_worthy]

Who: Edgeworth, GLaDOS, Dr. Eggman, Sig
What: Three jerks get locked in a room with nothing but board games to pass the time. This is going to end in tears and/or bruises.
Where: One of the teachers' lounges
When: Friday, September 7, around lunchtime
Warnings: See "Who," that is a warning in of itself.

Edgeworth only planned to stay in the teachers' lounge for a few minutes. He just wanted to make some copies for his next class and get back to work on the other things he had to do. It looked like there were a few other faculty members hanging around the room, but Edgeworth wasn't one for small talk and he didn't have anything important to discuss. He did, however, take a look around while he was waiting for his papers to finish.

It was one of the smaller rooms on the classroom building's top floor: nothing but the copier, a table, a few chairs, and some dusty boxes stacked up in the corner. Not a particularly nice place to spend more than ten minutes, if you asked him. ...Actually, ten minutes might be pushing it.

Comments

[did_well_enough]

Miss GLaDOS had, for reasons unknown, been one of the few teachers in the actual lounge. Yes, it wasn't the nicest room in the building, and yes, she didn't care for some of the other staff in the building. HOWEVER, it had the best coffee around (cafeteria was too far away) and it always gave her a warm satisfaction that she was allowed to be in an area that others were not.

So there she was, sitting cross-legged on one of the couches next to the coffee table, drinking her favorite beverage while flipping through some sort of Science Magazine.

[iamtheeggman]

There was only one reason Eggman was in the lounge, especially while other people were there.

He stormed into the room, past the assembly, and straight to the fridge. He grumbled as he rummaged through it wordlessly, until finally he found it.

A huge very well rendered sandwich.

[robinsegg]

And then there was Sig.

He wasn't exactly sure where he was on the campus, but he had been following a ladybug ever since he found it in the morning. An insect rare to be seen at this time of the year! He needed to make friends with it.

He took no care for the other three that were already in the lounge room as he entered. He wandered around the room searching for the ladybug until he realized it was still out side.

"Waaait."

He wandered out again, carelessly closing the door behind him. There was a click.

Enjoy being locked in the lounge, you three.

[un_worthy]

He paid no attention to the door closing at first (although the boy that closed it got a suspicious squint out of him), which in retrospect was a Big Mistake on his part.

Once his papers were finished copying he neatly stacked everything up and made his way to the exit. ...The door wouldn't open. "Hmm?" Edgeworth frowned and tried again. "... Hmm." This time he set his papers on the nearest available surface and shook the door, but alas, it would not budge. Logically, this meant one of two things: the door was either stuck, or... Well, it was probably just stuck.

After further scientific investigation (namely pushing and pulling on the door really hard and hoping it would open), he came to his conclusion: The door was locked. Thank you, Miles 'Sherlock Holmes' Edgeworth.

"Nngh... That boy didn't really--" He stopped abruptly and turned to face the lady and gentleman in the room. Because, yes, that boy did really. "... I don't suppose either of you would have the key to this door, do you?"

[did_well_enough]

GLaDOS had noticed the boy, but she did not say anything, nor do anything to stop him. However, she soon realized that was a grave mistake once she heard the "click".

No. No this could not be happening.

She frowned at Edgeworth and shook her head. "The Hands never gave me a key." she then turned to Eggman. "What about you, Doctor? You of all people must have a key, since you've been here the longest."

[iamtheeggman]

HOW DARE HE.

HOW DARE THAT BRAT LOCK THE GREAT DOCTOR EGGMAN IN A ROOM WITH COMPUTER BITCH AND FRILLY CRAVAT. He was so mad he almost forgot about his sandwich.

Almost.

He took another bite of it in rage.

"HARDLY. The only ones who have keys to this place are the janitor and the Hands."

[un_worthy]

Edgeworth could only stare at Eggman like it was his fault for not carrying a key. ... Actually, maybe he was just staring at his sandwich. Was it possible for such a well-rendered thing to exist?

He glared at the door like he was trying to intimidate it into opening, but his expression softened to one of annoyance fairly quickly. It was going to be one of THOSE days, wasn't it? With an amazing display of genius he attempted to call the Hands...

And got the answering machine. He hung up and huffed before he began thoroughly investigating the room, then justifying his actions by saying "Perhaps there's another way out."

[did_well_enough]

Yeah okay. It was safe to say that now GLaDOS was furious. Not only was she locked in a small room by some idiot student WHO'D BE GETTING DETENTION FOR THIS, but no one there had a bloody key.

"Doubtful. The window is too small to escape from" and she pointed to said window "and I don't see any other ways out."

She gripped her coffee mug hard, rage very visible in her body language. Still, she was trying to keep her cool. "Perhaps we could call the custodian? Or just break the door down. I don't really care as long as I get out of this wretched room."

[iamtheeggman]

Eggman grumbled, finishing off his sandwich. "I'll call a robot to break the door down," he said, searching his pocket for a remote control...

...only to not find it. "BLAST! I left my controls in my office!!

[un_worthy]

After examining every suspicious-looking nook and cranny of the room he couldn't come up with anything but the window as a possible escape route. Maybe someone could squeeze out of it, but the distance from the ground was nothing to sneeze at.

Okay, Edgeworth could handle this. He would just call the custodian on his cell phone and the three of them would be out of there in a matter of minutes. Right...?

WRONG. "Does anybody in this place know how to answer a telephone!?"

[did_well_enough]

See this? This is GLaDOS rolling her eyes at both of you morons. Honestly, does she have to spell everything out for you both?

"Look, all three of us are full grown adults...for the most part, at least. Some more grown than others." that may be a fat joke OR she may be saying she's more mature than you both. You decide. "Either way, I think we should be capable enough to break the door down ourselves."

[iamtheeggman]

"OH GOOD, A FAT JOKE. LIKE I DON'T HEAR ENOUGH OF THOSE EVERY DAY!!" Someone was sensitive.

"Very well then, so-called-genius, YOU do it," he said, taking a seat, arms crossed.

[un_worthy]

He was getting there, okay? Trying to break the door down was his last resort, if he had to be completely honest.

Edgeworth stood a few feet away from the door, shoulder-forward. ... He stood that way for a while. After a long silence he sighed and folded his arms, facing GLaDOS and Eggman with a frown. "Are either of you going to help, or am I expected to break this door down alone?"

You did say 'we,' ma'am.

[did_well_enough]

"Fine. Sit there looking moronic, we'll just open the door ourselves."

And she walked briskly over to the door, tossing her labcoat RIGHT AT EGGMAN'S FAT FACE as walked. GLaDOS turned to body her mimic Edgeworth's pose and she nodded to him.

"On the count of three. One....two...three!"

[iamtheeggman]

Eggman smirked to himself in satisfaction as he watched the two try and fail to break down the door. "Having fun, you two?" he asked smugly.

[un_worthy]

On 3, Edgeworth hit the door with all his might. Okay, well, it was more like 'the door hit Edgeworth with all its might.' The door didn't budge at his shining example of manliness and he doubled over, clutching his shoulder, nothing but a strained "Nnghooooohhh..." scattered to the winds.

[did_well_enough]

It was pretty much the same on GLaDOS' end. Her shoulder wasn't exactly ticklish after that hard slam. Once Eggman made a remark, however, she sneered.

"Clever. It's always a relief to see that your fat cells haven't started cutting off the circulation to your brain."

[iamtheeggman]

"I'm just looking at it RATIONALLY," he said. "None of us has the strength to knock the door down. At least I'm not WASTING MY TIME like you two."

[un_worthy]

"Well, perhaps it wouldn't have been a waste of time if you cooperated!" He wasn't shouting yet, but judging by his tone he was well on his way there. Edgeworth, are you trying to scold a full-grown man?

He took a moment to compose himself, folded his arms, and impatiently tapped his finger on his arm. "Do you have any better ideas?" If Eggman had any good ones he'd better speak up.

[iamtheeggman]

"Hello? It's midday, and contrary to what your PEA BRAIN might believe, we're NOT the only three teachers in this godforsaken cesspool," Eggman explained. "Do you really think nobody else will come by for their OWN lunch break? All we need do is sit back and wait."

Oh day I will stop replying to people and start posting a new comment -___-'

[did_well_enough]

"You seem to forget that this very room is a cesspool of its own, Doctor. It's small, cramped, and generally uncomfortable. The only reason I'm even here is because the coffee machine here makes the best coffee. I'd imagine with the cafeteria open now, no one would even bother to enter this room."

[un_worthy]

"It could be hours before someone thinks to check up here," Edgeworth said as he examined the window. The idea of being stuck in a room with that man for any longer was a grating thought, but he'd been through worse. This too shall pass, but he wished it would pass quickly. He distantly wondered if he could break the window and call for help that way, but instead he looked in the refrigerator.

"I highly doubt anybody else is going to be taking a lunch break in here," he said as he pushed things around in the fridge, "Unless someone's idea of 'lunch' expired take-out and condiments." Ick, disgusting. Edgeworth took a napkin and wiped his hands.

[iamtheeggman]

Eggman gritted his teeth. "Okay then, what about the JANITOR? That little zombie girl is going to be around to clean up soon."

[did_well_enough]

"If by soon you mean--" GLaDOS rolled up her sleeve, checked her watch, and then promptly frowned. "--anywhere between two to four hours, then yes, soon. I took the liberty of memorizing her schedule, so I could know when she'd be getting around to cleaning my lab."

[un_worthy]

"Two to four--!?" He sputtered as he turned away from the fridge, then after a short while of trying to maintain his composure he took out his phone and tried to call for help again. He should have assumed the worst -- of course his only way out of this blasted room would be to sit and wait for hours.

When he received no answers he slowly and sadly, with a single tear, placed the phone back in his pocket and resumed his up-to-now fruitless investigation. Edgeworth started rooting through some cardboard boxes in the corner, searching for some sort of key.

[iamtheeggman]

"Believe me, I dread this prospect FAR MORE THAN YOU," Eggman grumbled.

[did_well_enough]

"I don't think that's possible." deadpanned GLaDOS. "Either way, we're going to be stuck here for a while, that much is obvious to you both, I assume. Therefore, it would be wise to find some way to pass the time."

the slowest chump is me

[un_worthy]

After searching through the dusty old boxes (and sneezing a few times) his search for a key had turned up none. He did, however, find a stack of years-old teen girl magazines and a box full of board games. He picked up one of the magazines, squinted at the cover, then dropped it back on top of the pile before he huffed and started looking through the board games. "Not exactly what I'd have in mind for 'entertainment.'"

[iamtheeggman]

"You can't be serious," Eggman remarked.

[did_well_enough]

"You must be joking. What are we, twelve years old?" this was unacceptable. Candy Land as well as all these other board games are NOT science.

[un_worthy]

"I don't suppose either of you have a better idea to pass the time," said Edgeworth as he continued looking through the pile of junk. To further illustrate his point he picked up one of the magazines and read the title of a cover story, "'Who's Your Celebrity Shopping Buddy,' perhaps?" He made a face like that was painful to read out loud and replaced it like he was handling trash. "Hmph. There must be something in here that isn't made for children."

BUT ALAS, as he kept taking board games out to examine all he could come up with that he deemed more sophisticated than Candy Land and Junior Monopoly was a chessboard missing most of the pieces. Um... Is that Scrabble?

[iamtheeggman]

After a few moments of grumbling, Eggman finally gave in and sat down. "Let's just get this over with."

[did_well_enough]

GLaDOS sighes, rolling her eyes and rubbing her temples before finally joining the Doctor. "...we never speak of this again. Understood?"

[un_worthy]

"Frankly, I don't particularly want to remember this day happened in the first place."

He made sure all the pieces were in the box (because who wants to play a game with all the As missing?) and took a seat, huffing and grumbling like he had better things to do all the while. Normally he would, but it wasn't like he had much to choose from at the moment.

[iamtheeggman]

"Agreed," Eggman said, pulling up his chair. "The sooner we start, the sooner we get this OVER WITH."

[did_well_enough]

"Right." chimed in Computer Bitch GLaDOS. "You do know how to set up everything, correct?"

[un_worthy]

"Please, it isn't rocket science." Edgeworth smirked so hard that the smug-o-meter in the room broke like he had something to be proud of and placed the game board on the table. He placed three of the letter racks in their respective places and pulled 7 letter pieces out of a bag. Wow Scrabble is really exciting to describe, he put the pieces on the rack facing him and placed the bag off to one side of the board. "I trust you two know what to do?"

[iamtheeggman]

"Don't INSULT me," Eggman grumbled, taking his letter tiles.

He placed down a word. H-A-T-E.

SORRY I'M SO LATE

[did_well_enough]

"It isn't rocket science." mocked the AI, as she snatched up her pieces. "I wouldn't be the genius I am today if I couldn't play a simple board game."

GLaDOS looked at the board for a few seconds, before placing down her own word connected to the good Doctor's. It was A-N-G-E-R.

/coughs up dust and shame

[un_worthy]

Oh. Maybe Scrabble was a bad idea, but he suggested it and he was going to see it through. Mostly because he assumed he was the smartest person in the room and guaranteed to win, but still... With those two words in place he had a good idea of where this game was going.

And since he felt the same way, he placed down some tiles connecting to GLaDOS's word and spelled out S-P-I-T-E.

[iamtheeggman]

"I'm sensing a pattern," Eggman grumbled as he picked up a few more tiles to add to Edgeworth's letter.

I-D-I-O-T-S

[did_well_enough]

"As am I." after she had said this, GLaDOS sneered at the Doctor's choice of words. Her hand snatched up a pile of tiles and connected the middle of her word to Eggman's. It was F-A-T-T-Y.

[un_worthy]

Since Edgeworth didn't have enough tiles for M-O-R-B-I-D O-B-E-S-I-T-Y or K-I-L-L M-E

Well, that escalated quickly... "An astute observation," Edgeworth replied as he frowned at some letters, then used one of Eggman's Is to spell out U-N-C-I-V-I-L.

[iamtheeggman]

Eggman glared at the board for a few moments, and then glared back at Edgeworth. Then at GLaDOS. And tried feebly to decide which of them he hated more.

He used Edgeworth's word to spell out S-E-R-V-A-N-T.

[did_well_enough]

GLaDOs scoffed at the fat bastard's attempt at being clever, letting out a not-so-subtle "Don't flatter yourself" before grabbing a few tiles and using his word to help spell out her own.

It was D-E-L-U-S-I-O-N.

have I mentioned that this is my favorite log yet? because it is

[un_worthy]

Edgeworth didn't have a lot of good letters to choose from and he felt like he was trespassing on the site of a great battle between Eggman and GLaDOS. Hostility was in the air, he could smell it-- no, wait, that might have been the sandwich.

He glanced incredulously at the good doctor's newest word, and used one of the Ns on the board to spell M-O-R-O-N.

[iamtheeggman]

"You know, if none of you are going to take this seriously..."

Eggman grumbled and extended off of his own T. T-W-A-T.