You're gonna test, and I'm gonna watch.

[testgasm]

Who: Weetabix. YOU.
What: TIME EATING
When: Who even knows.
Where: APERTURE WHEATLEY LABS
Warnings: Weird time shenanigans. Inappropriate noises.

You walk through the door and find yourself in a room.



You appear to be alone. The room is empty save the door you came from and a door that is obviously the exit--though neither will open. A large, red button sits in the middle of the chamber, surrounded by several cube...things.

There is an oversized TV monitor bolted to the wall but it appears to be off.

In front of you is a pedestal that holds two things--a strange device and a pair of boots. The gun-like apparatus has two triggers, but firing either at any of the walls does nothing. More fiddling, however, and you might realize that the gun can be used for picking things up--and perhaps even used to put things on other things (HINT HINT).

The floor and walls shake gently around you, tremors of some far-off disturbance. You might want to put those boots on, and find a way out of here while you're at it.

Comments

[makesithot]

The 'portal' remains covered in an orange veil, so Chili doesn't understand how Cress came to the conclusion that the orange-y hole would be something of a doorway. However, it does make some sense... didn't that robot guy call it something-about-a-Portal-Device? Who would have thought something like this existed! Chili leaves Cress to his own musing and button-pressing as he tries to solve the mystery involving the oval-shaped holes.

If Cress was concerned about getting over to the other side, Chili wonders if they could make another portal on the wall behind them. He turns around and shoots another portal using a different trigger, creating a ground-level portal leading to the other side. He blinks in wonder, and stares at Cress through the blue-rimmed portal. He was... all the way over there, and so was he!! He could even see himself looking into the portal down there!

The Fire-type gym leader laughs as he witnesses Cress press the button. "Hey, Cress, I see you!"

[makesitcool]

Cress whips around to see what in the world Chili's talking about when he discovers a brand new hole in the wall, this one girdled in blue and revealing... them? In the room? From the perspective of the other portal, just as though it were some kind of security camera peeping in from across the room? He came closer to the portal.

"Well, I can see you too." He pauses with a hand to his hip and taps his ASHPD against his thigh. "So if Cress is understanding this correctly, these devices create wormholes that allow us easy passage from point A to point B... Unbelievable!" He was just going to keep staring at it because it was fascinating to just... watch.

"Although, you could have stood to aim the first portal a tad lower, wouldn't you say?"

[makesithot]

Chili turns to give Cress a glare. "Then how about you do it, if it bothers you so much?" he grumbles, pouting.

[makesitcool]

"A fair suggestion." With that pert response he cocks his gun theatrically and swirls around to aim it at the panel below Chili's portal, creating a second one in a much more convenient location. Once that was done, he swerves around again to aim his blue portal right next to Chili's, never missing a beat on purpose. With a sure smirk he brushes his bangs away from his face only to let them fall back into their place and saunters off into the fresh portal.

[makesithot]

"What a show-off!" blurts Chili, and he places a hand on his hip. "We don't even need that, see?!"

He looks at his own set of portals that he created, and experimentally sticks a foot through the one at his side. He hops through, hoping he can land steadily in these dumb shoes.

...Unfortunately, he topples right on top of Cress, forcing his brother to meet the ground as he lay on top him. "Yeowch! Cress, you should have moved out of the way!" he scolds.

[makesitcool]

His flawless one-upmanship: RUINED!!

"Mmf... Chili, you clumsy oaf! Get off of me!" he barks as he tries in vain to peel his body from the cold hard floor. Between the harsh chin-smashing collision with the ground and the weight of his brother imposing down upon him, he's in a world of pain and indignity.

[makesithot]

"Hey! I am not!" he retorts, pushing himself up with his free palm and letting his knees do the rest. How to get back up on these weird heels...?

"I hope that hurt, because you deserved that, you jerk!"

[makesitcool]

Cress was so tempted to accidentally bring up his own heel at the most opportune moment when Chili was clambering off him. Which was as he was straddling that leg he was itching to kick up.

But he resisted. That was such a cheap method of payback. Besides, then Chili would start pummeling him furiously and they'd become nothing but a squabbling heap of limbs flailing about trying to land blows and shoot portals on one another. That wouldn't do.

"Mark my words; you'll pay for that," mutters Cress darkly as he rolls over and sits up, delicately pushing himself back to his feet. Did you SEE THAT, Chili? Getting back up off these heels? Piece of cake. You just suck.

[makesithot]

Yes. Only the truest and finest of whores can navigate the world so naturally in high heels. Like Cress. Chili gives him a bitter glare and snorts at the thought as he awkwardly scrambles to his feet, adjusting the portal gun in his hand. "Pssh, yeah right! Bring it on!"

...Right, the button. It seems as though the cube landed right on the button, no problem. Chili turns away from Cress and shouts, "Heeey, Wheatley! Are we done here?! We pressed the button!" He sounds... a little ticked. He just doesn't want to work with Cress anymore.

[whitedeviljack]

He didn't think this was a bad idea...?

At explanation, Raiden re-inspected the gun--correction--Portal Device in his hand. It made portals? He didn't believe it. A quick PEW PEW at the surface of the walls however, revealed a very different result than his initial firings upon the boxes-with-legs-for-the-tests.

"Whoa...!" It made a blue oval-shaped portal appear before his very eyes! That in its own right was quite fascinating to someone who had never seen anything like it before, and his surprise only doubled when he managed to get the gun to fire a second, orange portal upon the wall. It took only a small amount of further experimentation to gather that some surfaces (most in this room) worked, and others didn't. He could stick his hand through one (after a very long, cautious and perhaps overly dramatic approach to the surface of the portal) and it would appear out the other!

"This is incredible."

Raiden wouldn't have noticed at all if Wheatley was bored, entertained, pleased or annoyed by the blonde's new found fascination with the ASHPD (and not the tests themselves). He was simply awe-struck.

"Did you make this?"

[did_well_enough]

GLaDOS nodded. "Right, the Cooperative Testing Initiative." yes, she wanted to test it...but not like this. Not like she has a choice, though. As such, she doesn't bother speaking further after that. Instead, She merely frowns and follows Chell past the catwalks. As she walks, she doesn't say anything, just scowls.

However, that changes one they make it into the elevator. "These next tests we'll be facing are like nothing you've experienced before. I designed them in order to be done by two test subjects. Ergo, you and I must work together. Again."

She paused, before sighing. "However, that's not what you should be worried about. If you recall, I can't help you with tests. As in, if you're stuck on something, I can't give you the answer...directly at least. So don't mess up. Otherwise we're both dead."

[testsubject1]

Chell frowned at GLaDOS when she heard this. A test designed for two people. No, she hadn't done anything like that before. She hadn't even interacted with other humans for so long, so a test designed for two had never even crossed her mind.

She knew that GLaDOS had designed these tests, but she didn't have to go through all of them constantly, leaping through the air and thinking on her feet. GLaDOS was obviously smart, as much as she hated to admit, being a computer and all, but knowing how things had gone in the past, Chell expected her to sit there and watch. Lovely.

She gave a scowl that indicated these feelings, hoping that GLaDOS would do her part. She had better. And if the test chamber was truly designed for two, then Chell wouldn't be able to get through on her own with the equipment she had.

So, she stepped through the door, ready to see what Wheatley had in store for them.

[testgasm]

Though the flood of solution euphoria through his system had been basically the best thing ever, and though he allowed Chili and Cress more than enough time to acquaint themselves with their portal devices, this was just getting ridiculous. He'd watched them blankly for a few long minutes, allowing them to get accustomed to the mechanics, but now it was time to get a move on.

"Yes! Just...got to head through the door, get in the lift, now, and I'll set up something a bit more on the--on the cooperative side, for you."

And lo, the test that awaited them.

[makesithot]

Chili bolts for the door without consulting his blue-haired brother, and the two of them jump in the lift. His mood evens out just a tad, too enthralled by the new sights to behold to continue hating Cress for long.

Once they reach the next testing chamber, Chili blinks at the two split pathways. "Are we... supposed to split up?"

[testgasm]

"Ah, no." Though he half-considered taking credit for it. He wasn't exactly the best at discerning subtle human emotions, but Raiden looked and sounded thoroughly impressed.

"But it is incredibly scientific, and I am glad you like it. What don't you head through that door over there and we can do some real tests?"

[makesitcool]

"My guess is as good as yours. Let's do it." As good a reason as any to get away from his stupid little punk of a brother. Chili may have been less incensed, but Cress? Cress had morphed into a raincloud. It's not like he was the one who got trampled or anything.

That said, he strolls over to the division on the right.

[makesithot]

Chili bounds over to the left-hand button and bounces to land on it, which he does with a thud. The blue-tinged wall did not budge. He gives it a puzzled look.

"Cress, go stand on the other button! This wall isn't going down!" he commands.

[testgasm]

"Oi, you'll want to put that away, mate," he snapped, clearly unamused by this BLATANT RULE-BREAKING. "It's not going to help you in there."

[makesitcool]

With a cold glance, he takes his step. The doors open. He proceeds out into the room ahead and takes a look around. His room is significantly different than Chili's... A few noteworthy aspects that differentiated his from Chili's were a laser, a button, a raised panel, and a chute. HMM.

[dothelokomotion]

Byrne ignored the computer and continued moving into the next room. He would use his gauntlet as much as he could. He wasn't used to that fancy white gun, and truthfully had never used a gun before. They don't really exist in Hyrule okay.

So, he stood at the door, waiting for the next room to open...

[whitedeviljack]

Oh right. Tests.

Raiden proceeded as instructed through the door, leaving behind the fantastic go-go boots (obviously they were for a girl), and some of the awe.

"What kind of tests?" Cautious uncertainty began to creep back into the blonde, especially as he took his first steps out onto the catwalk. It was unnerving how it was suspended at a seemingly impossible height. He really didn't want to fall, and walked quickly down the only path available to him.

[makesithot]

Without much thought, Chili decides to sprint forward. This was not a good move, as these wonderful turrets lurked just around the corner. Their sweeping red sensor alerts the gym leader just in time for him to keep out of their way, fortunately, and he plasters himself to the white panels of the wall to keep out of their way. Not without a gasp, of course. H-Hopefully that wouldn't be the end of him...! But he wouldn't tell Cress what he almost encountered just then. He would probably scold him if he'd seen that...

"So, what are you going to do, huuuh?!" he calls, his voice echoing in the empty room. Chili has the mindset that the two of them must be in separated chambers because they are intended to compete... could that be the case? Of course, he has yet to observe the room in detail, but doing that so soon just isn't his style.

[makesitcool]

Cress was already navigating his room and barely paid Chili any mind. His focus was directed on the button that should activate the chute and give him a cube to play with. With a push of the red switch, the cube tumbles out of the chute as he had been trained to expect. This one is a little different than the last cubes he worked with; it has circular glass windows on every face.

With so many options scattered around the room, it was hard to figure out what to mess with first. It was like a puzzle, really. Well, he could try setting it on the bigger button; that always did something, right? He goes over and sets it down right there. The bridge Chili should probably be crossing starts to form. Ah, maybe that was the goal! But what are those glowing lights on the other end from the lasers? He decides to see what Chili will do.

[makesithot]

Oh. Well, that certainly shattered his expectations: it seems as though he would end up relying on Cress to assist him through the level, maybe? Chili frowns a little from across the wall.

A bridge forms. But Chili still knows that something is there to shoot him. He looks back at Cress.

"What are you waiting for?!" he inquires, yelling loud enough for Cress to hear. "I can't go through there, unless I want to be fired at!"

[makesitcool]

So annoying... Brusquely, Cress replies, "Be patient, please."

He shoots a portal at the spot where the laser streaks uselessly against, only to find that nothing visibly has changed. Pursing his lips, he shifts his sights on the panel that is raised and shoots that with the second portal. All it does is make the laser beam redirect toward the ceiling, which is even more useless.

Well, maybe he needs that cube again after all. He plucks it from the button, thinking that maybe he should use his own body to hold down the button later as a last resort if he couldn't use the cube. Since it's reflective... Ah-ha! He could perhaps direct the laser with the cube, somehow...

Time to test it out, at least. He approaches it and holds the cube between it, watching to his great surprise as the laser transmits from his cube all the way to the other side of the sheer partition. Since he was still getting the hang of what he was doing he didn't dictate much control over it yet, and the beam rapidly closes in on Chili.

A blip of horror surges through Cress as the next events unfold before him.