My Soul Burns, My Heart is Aflame with Passion: A Terrible Transformation! The Tears of a Venusaur!

[tank_rockarms]

Who: Max and Skullkid, and then Max and YOU
What: Max makes a stupid wish. The stupid wish comes true.
Where: Outside of the gym, and then everywhere.
When: 7am Sunday, March 11 - 7am Sunday, March 18
Warnings: A whole lot of violence. Everything on fire. Swearing.

Max was tired of all of this runaround, stressful world of concerns that he was currently inhabiting, a place where he was still on bad relations with Vinnie and Sasha was a who-knows-what.

He walked to the gym with a heavy heart. Even weightlifting was becoming slightly cumbersome. What a terrible feeling this was, to have life's greatest joy become a chore.

More to himself than anything else, and surely there was no-one hanging off of a rooftop or anything to overhear him, "Sometimes I wish I was a pokemon. It'd be easier if I was. Everything. You know. If I was a pokemon."

Just the words of a simple man with his simple thoughts thinking simple things.

((OOC: Post a time and a place to meet with... ... ...this guy. Though I would like to save the first encounter for Char. And then everyone else.))

Comments

"why are your nipples so sad, sir?"

[punchtheflowers]

Re: Modification #1: This was actually a pretty reasonable solution for a lack of suitable swim trunks, and it avoided the nudity that humans were always so weirded out about. But there was just something very disturbing about the way the straps cradled Max's sculpted glutes. Like a car crash - hypnotic, yet repulsive?

Re: Modification #2: Now this was considerably more... ridiculous. There was a fine line between comedic and horrifying when it came to things like this, and frankly, Max was too monstrous to laugh at. In fact, he didn't feel like he was physically capable of anything other than terror.

To be fair, the Venusaur needed a lot of kickboard help back when he was still learning how to not drown. It was all Vinnie could do to grimly grit his teeth together and bear a few more hours of this WARNING AUGH FIRE BAD screaming in his roots.

"Let's just get this done." Twitch. "Sir."

"Because they have to put up with you and your shit."

[maxizard]

It's the terror of seeing Max 98% naked. His finely sculpted glutes merely add to your general malaise, yet, as they are so finely sculpted, they attract, as would any other piece of art.

"Good answer," Max said, as he slapped Vinnie on the back and sent him tumbling into the pool.

The splash as Vinnie's body entered the water, limbs askew, shot a pinion of fear and hatred up through Max's psyche.

Max went into the water much more slowly than Vinnie had. He eased himself in. The water... irritated him. Like it had way too much chlorine, or like Max had an exceedingly bad sunburn. Which was a strange feeling, as Max hadn't felt burnt for the past day, even though parts of him were constantly on fire. He took deep, deep breaths. Fire snorted from his nostrils as he did so. His tail was held as far out of the water as possible.

There was only one thing left to do - start swimming. Breast stroke. Two miles. Thirty-two laps. He could do this. He would rise to conquer this damnable liquid. It would be his.

"oh............"

[punchtheflowers]

Getting knocked into the water was a common enough occurrence during training that Vinnie could at least, by now, manage not to get his head slammed against the shallow end. He recovered quickly and stood, turning his attention to Max the moment he could.

He watched with an expression of vague concern as the Charizard descended into the water. What with Vinnie's first moments as a Ninetales being repeated, painful slipping in a magical pond, he knew how much the water could sting. Maybe he should just... make sure that Max was going to be okay with his kickboard-taped-abs combo.

From over here. On the opposite side of the pool, far away.

"Yeah, now shut up before you get a little set on fire"

[maxizard]

Max looked across the pool at Vinnie. At Vinnie watching him. At Vinnie watching him to see him fail.

"DO I PAY YOU TO STAND AROUND LOOKIN' AT THINGS OR DO I PAY YOU TO WORK YOUR ASS OFF?" Max asked him, flames bursting from his mouth with rage.

"SWIM."

The awful feeling of the water wasn't helping Max's mood any.

"yes... sir............."

[punchtheflowers]

Shit, geeze, fine. If Max had the energy to spout flame and shout in bold italicized text, then he had to be fine. Without another word, Vinnie pushed off and started on his laps as well.

Sooner he could get these done with, the better. With this desperate thought burning in his mind, Vinnie was pushing himself to swim faster than ever before.

[maxizard]

Max had much the same feeling as Vinnie. The important thing to do was to swim as fast as possible, keep his tail out of the water, and not take in any water that he didn't mean to.

He set forward in the water. It was definitely burning like there was too much chlorine in it. Way too much chlorine.

He hated the entire experience. But he refused - refused - to not do something he was going to do. Absolutely refused to.

It was repulsive. It was like swimming in blood. Blood that actively hated him.

He was swimming as fast as possible. And overworking himself. Steam started to roll off of his back. The water... was it getting warmer?

[punchtheflowers]

At first Vinnie didn't take too much notice of the rising temperature. It was probably just the burn of intense physical exertion, of the stress driving him faster. But after several more laps, the warmth was beginning to verge on very uncomfortable. Like 'someone turned off the air conditioner in the weight room and installed a heater instead' kind of uncomfortable.

So at the end of the lap, he grabbed the edge of the pool and paused for a breather only to notice that his skin was going red. It might've looked like a sunburn, except for the fact that it was impossible. And everything was really hot, he was practically cooking in this wat-- MAX. OH GOD, MAX.

With some note of alarm in his voice, Vinnie yelled, "Max, you're heating up the whole pool!" with the perhaps vain hope that the Charizard could hear him. Or care. Y'know.

[maxizard]

Max can't hear you. He's too driven to swim, and keep swimming, for the full two miles. He's focused like a bullet, aimed straight at your ability to not turn into cooked spinach.

Max continues to take deep, deep breaths. And as he does, he works the energy in himself up further and further, as he swims through the hated element.

[punchtheflowers]

Ah. Of course he wouldn't be able to hear. So now Vinnie was stuck between two options: keep swimming and pray to whatever gods would hear that he wouldn't end up boiling alive, or getting out of the water and risk the wrath of a Charizard drill instructor turning him to cinders.

Either way, really, he was probably kind of screwed. Fuck.

But.

If Max was swimming in an element he was weak against, then hell if Vinnie couldn't do the same, okay? He could not back down, not even at risk of a scald.

He pushed off to finish his laps with even greater desperation, suffering all the while.

[maxizard]

Eventually, the heat radiating off of Max's glorious abdominal muscles (so glorious, so many), which could normally be used to cut diamonds (so defined, so strong) proved too much for the duct tape that he'd used to tape the kickboard to his front.

It went shooting out from underneath him, and Max dropped further into the water unexpectedly, barely able to keep his tail out of the water (why was it so heavy and muscular).

He swallowed a good deal of water in surprise (oh god) and there was a sudden, frantic flailing of limbs and splashing.

Hey Vinnie. Remember all those times Max had to drag your ass out of the pool to save you from drowning?

[punchtheflowers]

Oh yes, it was hard to forget all those early morning near-drownings. What lovely times those were.

You were really doing this to him, weren't you, Max.

Vinnie only noticed the frenzied slashing as he reached the end of another lap. There was Max, struggling to keep his tail alight with way too many limbs spazzing out in the water. Holy crap. Even if the Venusaur couldn't say it aloud, he felt totally, silently vindicated for his concerns. Everyone told you this was a bad idea, Max. Way to not listen to anyone.

He swam over to him to help drag the Charizard to safety, but the moment Vinnie tried grabbing one of Max's meaty limbs WHAT THE FUCKING CRAP HIS SKIN WAS BURNING HOT OH GOD THIS HURT LIKE A MOTHERFUCKER. Not even being in water numbed the pain of even touching him fuck fuck fuck fuckkkkk!

He lost a mouthful of air as he tried to scream, and quickly clamped down. The burns were worsening by the second, but he fought to hold on and to keep going. FUCK.

[maxizard]

Eventually, with Vinnie's helpful help, Max was eventually dragged to the shallow end, where he could stand up. And as soon as he could stand up, he stood up out of the water. A veritable miasma of steam rolled off of his upper body as it stood up out of the wet.

He began immediately to cough, and cough, and cough, and eventually vomit up some water. It was a good thing he hadn't had breakfast yet, so there wasn't a bunch of other stuff mixed in there.

Hold on. He'll be able to say something soon. He's just panting and coughing and panting and coughing right now. He'll get it eventually.

[punchtheflowers]

THERE MAX WAS FINE NOW Vinnie immediately let go and listened to the very urgent botanical instinct to drag his poor self to safety, away from the horrible fire owie bad monster. There was no part of his body that did not feel in pain, and his health bar was diminishing with every turn.

Weakly, he slumped over on the edge of the pool in a sad attempt to crawl away. Vinnie's hands and arms had the worst of it, to the point of blisters. The floor tiles were still cool though, thank god, and managed to provide some tiny relief from the burns as he lay there, collapsed, wheezing in anguish.

What a beautiful pair they were.

[maxizard]

As soon as he was able to, he began to slouch over to the side of the pool. (Sorry, Vinnie).

He threw himself on the side, and climbed up without using the ladder or anything (that's really dumb, Max. If you fell in backwards you would probably die). But he made it! He was out of the water, on his hands and knees, continuing to alternate between hacking up his lungs and desperately gasping for air and occasionally spurting out little gasps of flame.

All of this while being 98% naked. Good job.

[punchtheflowers]

Meanwhile, that little DING DONG DING DONG critical health ringing noise was starting to get really annoying in Vinnie's head. He was very seriously considering just passing out to not deal with this horrific pain anymore, because it wasn't fading. If anything, it was getting worse. He could hear his skin sizzling and peeling. Why god, why.

Going delirious, he weakly muttered, "Fuckin' idiot..."

Though he probably only meant to say that in his head, instead of out loud.

[maxizard]

"SHUT THE HELL UP" Max managed to get out between hacking and gasping fits

"AND GET OUTTA THE WATER, YOU'RE BURNIN."

Wait what was wrong with that statement.

[punchtheflowers]

"[Tiny wheezing noise]" said Vinnie in response.

No, Max, never moving again sounded like a much better idea than whatever you just said. So he was going to lie here and quietly wait for death.

[maxizard]

Max crawled over to the ladder where Vinnie was and grabbed him by the hair and pulled up and tossed him over the side. Conveniently on top of Vinnie's duffel bag, getting squashed berries and broken bottles of something-or-other all over Vinnie's boiled-spinach-skin.

[punchtheflowers]

"GAAAAUGH!"

There was an ugly crunch as Vinnie, about as strong as a ragdoll, landed on his bag. Another lovely chunk of his HP bar disappeared on impact.

So, okay, the burns on his back were healing... but in return he had broken bottle bits sticking into him. And it didn't do much for actually restoring any health at all, just numbing the pain.

Vinnie groaned, still too weak to move.

[maxizard]

"What the hell. Do you need." Max got out.

God, look at him, dying because he was made out of pansies. Pathetic.

[punchtheflowers]

Fuck you pansies were awesome when they weren't on fire.

Did Max even know the difference between the various restorative items at all? Did he even have any? Who the hell even knew. Vinnie's first instinct was to ask for Red, but... sob, Red wasn't here.

"Pokecentre..."

[maxizard]

Max looked at Vinnie. Max was still not back up onto his feet yet. For some strange reason, that protracted engagement in the pool was exceedingly draining on him.

But he looked at stupid, stupid, so-far-beneath-him-it-wasn't-even-funny Vinnie. He was still his soldier. And he wasn't going to let him die with some jars stuck in his back. (Seriously, who puts glass vials into a duffel bag??? That should have been clothes and a towel. The softest place to land. Vinnie, what in the world is wrong with you.)

So, panting, he sighed.

[maxizard]

And poof, he was a pokemon charizard instead of a human charizard.

He bent his neck down. "Get on" he mumbled in pokespeech. "I can't drive with this tail. I gotta fly you there."

Surely nothing terrible would happen because of this.

[punchtheflowers]

(If Vinnie knew he was going to get thrown on top of his duffel bag, he wouldn't've put the glass vials on top of his fluffy towel, okay.)

Mustering what strength he had left, he rolled off the bag and onto his side, then with a grunt, pushed himself off the floor. Some of the burning may have been gone, but his arms just felt like limp noodles now.

He staggered over to Max, with the BAD IDEA alarm going off in his ears again. But fuck, it wasn't like he had many options left.

[maxizard]

Pathetic. Max went swimming in water and look at him. He's only, like, 85% beaten down, unlike you who is like at 98%. Pathetic.

He stretched his wings out. Oh, he was sore and tired and awful feeling. But he'd be damned if he wasn't going to do this.

He wished he had somewhere to just drop off of and coast most of the way. But he didn't have that luxury. He'd just have to trust to his freakishly powerful wing muscles.

And then they were off. All of like five feet above the ground because Max couldn't really manage to get much higher than that.

"Hold on," he growled.