smash_logs | Did someone order a DORM LOG??

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Did someone order a DORM LOG??

Who: You, you, you, and you
What: Dorm hijinks and etc. Whatever you want.
Where: Student and Teacher dorms, and quite possibly beyond. Whatever happens happens, bro!
When: September 9 - September 25
Warnings: I wrote 'hijinks'. That should explain everything.

Ripped off the last one and all its friends: Basically, here's what's goin down. We all know our characters experience downtime after classes and their busy schedules, and this is a good venue for those kinds of miscellaneous dorm-shenanigans to take place. Not only does it give your characters the easy chance to meet new people in a laid-back environment but it's a good mechanism for strengthening CR. It's easy!

Feel free to begin in any way you please! Plan with (a) fellow player(s) if you'd like! Or, set up a thread and wait for characters to bite! Anything and everything is possible. Break out the board games for a late night full of laughter, losing, cheating and bonding! Swipe the janitor's keys and gain access to all the impassable places your wildest dreams could only reach! Tiptoe quietly to the kitchen downstairs and make a midnight snack with all your friends! Drive all your neighbors to madness with your ceaseless My Little Ponyta marathons! Get in fisticuffs with your best worst lifelong rival on the rooftops at 4! It can all be yours if you make a thread. So have at it! Don't let this log get away untagged.

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"... I meant your fat layers. Silly."

Goose rolled his eyes and began to work on the ceiling. It was a flat square at first, but he began to make a dome shape on top. He'd then add pillars for a flair and then work on details, such as windows and a door. Maybe even a moat with a drawbridge!

"What? Like I said, I wear a lot of clothing, and I ain't taking it off!"

He hated it when people pointed out his obesity. However, ~~unlike the mun,~~ Wario was in a fair amount of denial about it. After all, he was quite muscular as well, judging by the size of his biceps and triceps. He just had a lot of visceral fat, although Wario would simply say that his high weight was due to his clothing. Yeah, that was totally it.

Getting back to the castle, Wario took some sticks and seaweed and tried to make a little flag for part of it. He figured he could decorate other parts with seashells, although his castle would probably still look pretty crappy anyway.

"But ain't it fresher that way? I mean, shit, you must be sweatin' bullets by now."

Then again, if he was, wouldn't he be sweating the scent of garlic? Honestly, that's the conclusion Goose was reaching, thus reinforcing his belief that Wario was lying through his teeth. Which probably also smelled like garlic. Yes.

He began to work on the pillars and gave Wario's castle this look during a pause.

"... That's it?"

"Bah! I like to be comfy and padded!"

Wario wasn't really wearing that many layers. Actually he was really only wearing one, plus a vest. He just rationalized that they were very thick. He wasn't sweating too terribly, and thankfully he had put on deodorant this morning. Although that probably did nothing to mask the smell of garlic.

In response to Goose's comment about the sandcastle, though, Wario had to defend himself. "Hey! Like I said, good art takes time." Though Wario wouldn't admit that he thought he was close to being done. And he definitely wouldn't admit that he really had no idea how to make a sandcastle as beautiful as Goose's.

Goose snorted and gestured to his near-finished product, pillars standing tall and proud around his small castle with the dome-like roof. "I kinda beg to differ here, sir. Look. This ain't that hard."

He leaned over and gave one, two, three small 'heh's in the direction of Wario's pathetic excuse for a sandcastle.

"Looks like you don't seem to get that."

One thing about Goose: he really, really loves to goad.

"Nngh..." Wario grunted in response, "Well I didn't grow up on a beach! I've barely had any experience in this."

Well at least Wario was able to admit that Goose's castle was way better. Sort of. Maybe. Okay fine, it was. Goose knew all the tricks to making these castles beautiful, but Wario was too "proud" to ask for any tips.

It took almost all his effort not to stand up and kick down Goose's sandcastle.

Goose finally let out one loud laugh at Wario's expense. It was a bit of a honking laugh. Honk honk honk.

"Wooooooow, hahahaha! Way to go, tubb'ums. Challengin' me when you ain't got much experience. You know what you should do?" He questioned. He wasn't about to let him answer, as he was just leaning in and poking at Wario's nose with a response.

"Challenge me at something you're ACTUALLY good at."

Gee. Goose sounds like of like an actual goose when he laughs. Wario ought to throw him in the lake with all the rest of the geese so he can be with his family. His brethren. Too bad there was no lake here.

"Screw you, bird-brain!" Wario shouted, standing up and kicking down Goose's castle. There, he finally did it. Now Wario's was the best castle standing. Technically.

"So we don't all have talents in every little thing ever. Fine. I'll admit that I'm not perfect." Though it was hard to admit that.

Wario was obviously peeved at not only failing at building a good sandcastle, but having Goose rub it in his face. At the same time, though, Wario would have done the exact same thing had their positions been switched. So, in a way, Wario kind of admired Goose for being so much like his favorite person ever.

"If you want a real challenge, my friend," Wario said with a grin, "Then I challenge you to a WarioWare duel." Wario would beat him at his own game. Literally. It was Wario's own game. Just so you know.

Oh, here's Wario, just pushing down his sandcastle. Whatever, he's a sore loser, he's not surprised, and what in the world is that even supposed to be. What?

Goose stood up, stared down at him, and wondered what in the world he was on. That couldn't possibly be a real thing, right?

"... What the hell's a WarioWare."

Wario cracked a grin at Goose's question. Here his entrepreneur instinct was kicking in, and he knew that A. not only would he beat Goose's sorry ass at this game, but B. he could spread the game's popularity and make more money! Hell, if Goose told his friends about the game, then more money would go into his pocket!

"WarioWare, my good man, is a game series designed by yours truly. It's a bunch of little minigames. Now, I know you're thinking, 'Oh gee, those minigames in Mario Party really sucked!' Well, this isn't Mario Party! Those minigames did suck. But these WarioWare minigames don't."

And there was his diatribe. Come on, Goose, what do you have to lose?

Goose kind of stared at him with an expression hard to mark. Was it fear? Anger? Sadness?

No. It was bewilderment that soon broke out into a barrel of laughter.

"That's IT? You just made some shitty game full of mini-games? And you expect to beat me at that? That's it? Damn. That's... heheheh. That's fucking funny. You pulled a laugh outta me. Thanks for that. But you know what?"

Goose leaned forward, one hand on his hip, the other honking Wario's nose. Honk honk. "I'll accept your little challenge. I can't turn one down, even if I know I'm gonna win."

Now Wario was pissed. Nobody called his work of artistic and business genius "shitty." NOBODY.

And now this asshole was honking his nose. What the hell?

"Get off me, you lunatic!" he shouted, shoving away Goose's arm.

"Fine! Accept my challenge then! You'll be sorry when you lose!"

"Alright!"

A pause. Goose looked down at Wario and tapped his foot, arms crossed.

"So... where are we even playin' this game anyway."

Luckily for Goose, Wario always happened to have a copy of his game on him. He had a DS with the cartridge, so he pulled it out and eagerly handed it to Goose.

"All right. Tell me how many points you get when you're done."

... That's it?

"That's it?" Goose rose an eyebrow and took the DS. He'd never even played anything like this before. Sheesh, of all the times he could actually make USE of Nester...

"... Easy as pie," he assured, turning the game on.

Not so easy as pie. The game got a little fast-paced with its mini-games, not to mention the fact that Goose's fast reflexes didn't quite apply to his gaming skill, or rather, his lack thereof.

He wound up beating only very few of the mini-games with decent scores.

"Well, eh," he let out simply. He wasn't sure if he could even say how bad his score was, so he just shoved the screen up into Wario's face. Go, Goose.

Wario took back his DS and looked at the screen.

There was a moment of silence, then all of a sudden, he burst out laughing.

"BWA HA HA! EIGHT? YOU COULDN'T LAST EIGHT ROUNDS?"

Finally, he calmed down, taking a few breaths to stop his nasal laughter.

"Woo... haha... okay. I'm calm." He took one more breath and then said with a mischievous grin, "Now watch how a pro does it!"

Wario concentrated hard, racking up more and more points on one of the harder stages. Finally after a while, while Goose was probably sitting there bored, Wario ended with a score of 109.

"Wa ha ha!" he laughed in triumph, "I'm-a-Wario, and I'm-a-gonna WIN."

Whereas Goose just wound up staring over his shoulder and looked all the more bewildered. Well, that was the last thing he expected.

He just kind of turned his nose up, this time for more than just the way Wario smelled.

"How'd... How'd you do that? That's just. How?"

He was so used to how bad Nester was at games, and now suddenly, here's this guy. A gaming pro.

Wario felt elated. He had bested this guy and humiliated him. So Wario snatched his pride back with ease. Oh, and he was going to continue rubbing it in his face. He liked doing that.

"How did I do that? It's called skill and talent, which I guess you just don't have! Wa ha ha!"

"Hey, hey. I at least I ain't the guy going around and kicking other peoples' property because I didn't win."

Goose folded his arms and lifted his chin haughtily. HA. WHAT NOW.

"Hey, that wasn't even your property! Unless you own the freakin' academy, which I doubt you do."

Wario stood angrily with his hands on his hips, glaring up toward the much taller Goose.

"Pssh, it ain't the academy's. The sand? It ain't even real, what we're standing on. It's just generated."

Goose stood back a ways and extended his arms, as if saying look at this. This isn't Master Hand's. He can kiss- or smack?- my ass.

"Exactly! So don't get all pissy because I stomped on your nonexistent castle!"

Wario rolled his eyes at Goose, because clearly Wario had every right to stomp on Goose's superior sandcastle. Clearly.

"... Sure, you just enjoy actin' like a little 9-year-old, tubby."

Goose shrugged and walked over to Wario's sandcastle. Time to fight fire with water.

He took a nearby bucket, filled it with water, and SPLASH. ALL OVER IT.

"Don't call me Tubby, you jerkoff!" Again with the weight-related insults. Wario hated those. He wasn't fat, okay. It was the clothing. And large bones. Maybe he could stand to shed a tiny bit, but he wasn't "tubby," for Christ's sake! Stupid Goose.

Although Wario wasn't really sad to see his sandcastle go. It wasn't that great. He was still just fuming at the insults Goose threw at him. He merely continued to stare angrily at the pilot.

"Hey, thanks, I do too like to jerkoff. Heh."

Goose wasn't easy to cut with insults unless it was directed to very certain parts of his life. Thankfully, Wario didn't hit that. Fuck yeah.

"Anyway, I consider us even, but one day? I'll have my rematch."

Did someone order a DORM LOG??

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