smash_logs | DRIVER'S EDUCATION SEASON 2, EPISODE 4: DUAL CLASSES DON'T ALWAYS MEAN YOUR EXP IS DIVIDED EVENLY

Entry tags:

DRIVER'S EDUCATION SEASON 2, EPISODE 4: DUAL CLASSES DON'T ALWAYS MEAN YOUR EXP IS DIVIDED EVENLY

CHARACTERS: SAMURAI GOROH, EGGMAN ROBOTNIK AND THEIR TEAMS OF HOMEBOYS (THAT WOULD BE YOU.)
WHAT: ...WHAT?
WHAT!: DRIVER'S EDUCATION.
WHERE: A NEW CITY OFFTOWN?
WHEN: DECEMBER 11TH
RATING: HOT COFFEE MODS

[Winter. It's usually depressing, boring and very white. Too bad Eggman and Robotnik are READY TO MAKE SOME NOOOISE!

As the students exit the buses, a ninja hands them a small watch. There are two buttons, ones loads up a town map,

the other seems to be the ability to communicate with each other. Finally there are three unlit star-shaped lights on the side.

As the students look up, they might notice that there is an ENTIRE TOWN that has been built up, matching the map. There are also Eggbots all around, dressed up in costumes. Some have pink dresses and terrible wigs. Some are driving cars. Some are just standing around. There's even Egg bums!

BUT....SUDDENLY!

Music starts playing.

Samurai Goroh arrives in his FIRE STINGRAY, crashing into two nearby trees as he EJECTS DRAMATICALLY and does about ten or so TOTALLY AWESOME back flips for NO GODDAMN REASON. A team of robots steps in with ninjas and puts it out before disappearing. He stands near the assembled group, looking pleased with himself.

Eggman, on the other hand, is hovering over the entire makeshift town. Is he...Is he dressed with a white wig like some sort of lame mayor? Yeap. He is.]

STUDENTS!

WELCOME BACK. EVERYONE KNOWS THIS ALREADY BUT WHO CARES, MY NAME IS

SAMURAI GOROH

And you all know me as

DR. ROBOTNIK, THE GREATEST SCIENTIFIC GENIUS IN THE WORLD!!!

TODAY IS THE LAST DRIVER'S ED OF THE SEASON, SO I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE INTERESTING IF PROFESSOR EGGMAN AND I DID A JOINT CLASS.

[He raises his hands and points around]

WELCOME TO LIBERTY CITY. YOU'RE ALL GOING TO LEARN ABOUT JUSTICE TODAY. THE SAMURAI GOROH WAY. IT'S CALLED PLAYING COPS AND ROBBERS.

HERE'S HOW IT WILL WORK. A SELECT FEW OF YOU WILL PLAY COPS. YOU HAVE COMPLETE CONTROL OVER THE CITY. BE BON COPS OR BAD COPS, I COULD CARE LESS.

THE REST OF YOU WILL BE ROBBERS. YOU CAN DO WHATEVER YOU WANT, CHILL OUT SOMEWHERE, GO BUY SOME NEW CLOTHING, OR ROB A BANK. SEE THOSE STARS ON YOUR WATCH? WHENEVER YOU DO SOMETHING EVIL OR ROBBER-LIKE SUCH AS STEALING A CAR OR TAKING CANDY FROM A ROBOT BABY, YOU GET A STAR. ONCE YOU GET THREE STARS, THE COPS GET NOTIFIED OF YOUR POSITION AND CAN FIND YOU WHEREVER YOU GO. THERE ARE NO SAFE POINTS. IF THE COPS TAG YOU, YOU WILL BE TRANSPORTED TO THE HOSPITAL WHERE YOU MUST REMAIN FOR TEN MINUTES. THERE ARE A LOT OF TOYS AT YOUR DISPOSITION, FAKE GUNS, REAL CARS, REAL MONSTER TRUCKS, DO WHAT YOU WANT.

[He points to a small image]

THIS SHOULD BE YOU.

THE MORE CRIMES YOU CAUSE AS ROBBERS, THE BETTER YOUR GRADE. BONUS POINTS FOR CREATIVITY.

THE MORE CRIMES YOU STOP AS A COP, THE BETTER YOUR GRADE. BONUS POINTS FOR CREATIVITY.

There is a VERY IMPORTANT PURPOSE to this lesson! If you plan to commit a crime, DON'T GET CAUGHT!!

DON'T CALL THIS GLORIFIED TAG. EVEN IF IT IS.

[Eggman continues to hover above them.]

And don't even THINK of trying to leave the city! I have eyes EVERYWHERE!!

[Goroh stands there, arms crossed.]

THAT'S IT. GET TO IT!

ONCE THE EXERCISE IS DONE, YOU WILL GET A PART OF

A GIGANTIC CHEESEBURGER!

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Suddenly! There's a helicopter flying over the helicopter. Lash peeks from the driver's seat. She screams at the fellow criminal]

HEY KNUCKLES! NEED A LIFT?!

Hold it!

*Goombella is now standing there, dressed like this.*

You're all under arrest!

*Knuckles had already leapt from the truck after firmly jamming the accellerator down with his crowbar, sending it careening extremely fast and with a drunken wobble down the street. Grabbing ahold of the ladder swinging from Lash's helicopter he caught sight of Goombella and immediately considered turning himself in for some intensive interrogation.*

*However - he could not afford to blow his straight A+ record for drivers ed so he instead pointed at Max.*

Hey! You oughta arrest him first! All -I- did was commit assault, petty theft and grand theft Mac Truck! HE smashed a dude into bits FOR NO REASON and he's supposed to be a COP.

*The Eggbot started to whine for sympathy. Or maybe it's voice box was just malfunctioning due to gross bodily harm. Who knows.*

[And then Lash flew the helicopter off, like any bad-ass awesome movie.]

*Knuckles climbed into the cockpit and there was probably villainous fist-bumping*

Do we have any kinds of weapons and if not, where are the parachutes? Because I say we either throw some missiles through that super big glass skyscraper or we plough the helicopter through it and eject before getting hurt.

*With the helicopter gone, Goombella turned around and pointed up at Max.*

You're under arrest for police brutality!

*Max, you're like twice her size. You could take her.*

How was I supposed to know what that thing was he threw at me, it didn't look like people, it just looked like a big metal thing. Anyway, there was a puppy in there. I let it out.

::Max is crossing his arms peering down at her and oh god Goombella try three times your size::

*Nooooo, fighting between cops is not alllooooowed *A*~ He's gonna try to get between the both of you. Wow, Mac being the voice of complete total reason? Gasp.*

C'mon guys! We're cops. We ain't got time to be messin' around when there's bad guys out there! And we just let those guys get away!

[Explosions are totally Lash's specialty Knuckles. You've hit one of her soft points.]

Let's do it. There's two rocket launches and three parachutes.

Wicked cool - I say we aim rockets at the lower portions of the skyscraper to take out the bottom floors and have the top floors crash down, send the chopper on a plunge toward whatever's left and bail out the sides.

"...Well then how do we catch them?" Goombella said, moving on immediately when she realized Mac was right.

Sounds like fun.

[She points towards the parachutes and starts charging up the rockets.]

Hold on tight. This is going to be a bumpy ride.

Edited 2009-12-14 09:41 (UTC)

*Slings on a parachute*

This is going to be AWESOME

...Dang, Mac hadn't thought of that. And he was doing so good, derp. And they were running out of time before they blow up the building.

"I...hadn't thought of that." He looked at Max, hoping he had an idea.

::Max looks around::

Uh...

::suddenly!::

Hey look another helicopter and it's sitting right over there and it's even primed for takeoff what're the chances of that?

I'm a trained helicopter pilot.

EVERYBODY GET INTO DA THE CHOPPER.

Let's go!

*Only after they were all inside, did she think to ask...*

Does anyone know how to fly this thing?

::Max is already in the pilot's seat, Goombella. He is pushing buttons and flipping switches and doing stuff::

::Either he knows exactly what he is doing...::

::Or you're all about to die::

[MEANWHILE...]

[Lash has her parachute and the missiles are ready for launch.]

Let's do this.

[FIRE MISSILE 1!]

*Goombella was immediately looking for her parachute. Just in case.*

*AND MISSILE TWO!*

Oh man! That building is gonna come down so hard!

*Slinging on his parachute* You wanna jump first and I'll send this thing down toward the wreckage? Oh... wait... it looks like Max has a chopper too! *POINT POINT MY FINGER POINTS*

*It's not like Mac doesn't trust Max, far from it. He was just...going to put his parachute on, too. Yeah. For those. Um. Rare emergencies.*

What do we do now, guys?

[And just as they are about to fall out of it...

THE FIRST MISSILE IMPACTS!...but it's paint? And now the entire building is covered in paint.]

Wh-at....He did say...NO FAIR!

We got jipped. But we seem to have one last smaller missile..

[She seems Max and co coming nearer.] Shit, it's the cops!

::Oh man, now that Max has seen what these things are loaded with, there is no chance that he won't just shoot you::

::Orange Star moves first! Orange Star hits first! Orange Star fires two missiles at the helicopter! This is direct combat!::

[Lash fires the last missile which collides with one of the missiles, shooting paint everywhere. She then turns to Knuckles...]

ABANDON AIRCRAFT!

[And she jumps out of the pilot seat before the 2nd one impacts. No paint on her hair, thank you very much.]

Re: ((City exploring time!))

monotreme-101.livejournal.com - 2009-12-17 21:00 (UTC) - Expand

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only