"I know where all thirteen vending machines are on campus including the illustrious teacher's lounge machine which has a complete spectrum of flavors." He quickly rattled, monotone. Surely his useless trivia knowledge was as impressive as Apple Kid's. Perhaps there was an unseen useless trivia kinship at the precipice of forming here.

"...anyway, what's so potentially unsafe about it? It's probably just spiked with liquor or something."