O, Signage of Truth and Virtue! Enter into Our Swoledom: Enter into Our Hearts!

[raced_god]

Who: Max, Captain Falcon, you?????
What: Hanging posters. Maybe some other stuff. Maybe whatever you want.
When: Week of April 21st.
Where: Around campus and also the locker rooms I guess.
Warnings: Swolitude. Tiny towels. Man talk.



The posters have sprung up overnight. Tacked to bulletin boards, plastered on lampposts--anywhere that can feasibly hold a flyer, the posters are there. The question, then, is where are they coming from? Who is putting them up?

The answer is perhaps obvious. If one pays attention, it is not difficult to find one Max Powers around campus with a stapler, one Captain Falcon following him with a stack of flyers.

One can only imagine the things that run through his head. I've saved the universe, he thinks to himself. I am the greatest racecar driver that ever lived, he thinks, with every clack of Max's stapler. I own islands.

And yet

And yet, dear reader, there they are.

Comments

[raced_god]

Falcon, at least, was a little more prone to recognizing when students were intimidated or nervous, and Chihiro definitely fit that bill. He could not imagine it was terribly easy to stare down a being such as Max, and thus took it upon himself to play good cop. Or good weight trainer, as it were.

"Only if you want to," he said.

[cplusplus]

That's where the line is crossed, Chihiro shook head furiously, "I actually want to. I want to get stronger...!"

Chihiro looked at Falcon straight in the eye at that, his eyes were burning with vigor despite how tiny and vulnerable he looked. It was like looking at a woodland bunny trying to be a ferocious grizzly bear.

[tank_rockarms]

"Good for you!" said Max proudly. "Everybody can get stronger and add muscle. I bet we can get twenty pounds of muscle on you if you're willin' to work at it."

[raced_god]

And if one perhaps listened closely, they could hear Falcon's pained "god", as he imagined Chihiro with twenty pounds of muscle.

[cplusplus]

Eventually.

"I-Is that so!?" He had been doing his own frequent routines, though most of the changes are subtle. "I, um, jog every morning and recently join the boxing club." Although his regimen had been less strict thanks to other priorities.

[tank_rockarms]

It's lean muscle mass, Falcon.

Lean muscle mass. Distributed equally across his frame. It's not that much.

"Joggin's all right, just to keep fat off, and boxin' practice is good, too, but boxers all lift to get stronger. Real important to get stronger if you wanna be a good boxer."

[raced_god]

Shut up, Max.

"We'll figure out a training regimen that's right for you."

[cplusplus]

"Erm... is there an alternative aside from lifting weights?"

Falcon, your his only hope now.

[tank_rockarms]

"Not if you wanna get stronger," said Max. "Isometrics is a lie. You're gonna have to lift heavy if you wanna get big. Well, bigger."

There's only so much that can be done with your waifish frame, Chihiro.

[raced_god]

"Maybe he doesn't want to get big," Falcon offered, knowing full well that Max could not comprehend a world where people did not want to get big.

[cplusplus]

"I... don't really do well with weights," he half-lied. Considering what happened to Kiyotaka though, maybe there were pictures or videos of him and why he wasn't so keen about weights, Chihiro quickly became pale at the thought.

[tank_rockarms]

"We've got light weights, so even if you ain't good at 'em, you can get some practice in and get better at it," said Max, totally not getting the reason why he didn't do well with weights, thinking that it was just a "I can't lift heavy" problem, not a "I was murdered with a dumbbell" problem.

[raced_god]

"If he doesn't want to lift weights, he doesn't have to lift weights."

And then, to Chihiro-- "I can help you figure out something that works. For you."

Cardio.

[cplusplus]

"You will, really?!" He could care less if it meant cardio, he just want to be in top physical condition. Look at how his giant Bambi eyes started shimmer brightly.

Shimmer brightly with Hope.

"If it's... not too much trouble, that is. I really appreciate it, sir."

[tank_rockarms]

You'll teach this boy cardio over Max's absurdly large, dead body.

"I guess body weight exercises," Max said. "Pull ups, sit ups, dips, one-legged squats, glute ham raises, those sorts of exercises, if you ain't gonna do weights. Nothin' better for traps than pull ups." You want traps. You really, really need traps.

And then, once you get into ottermode through those, you'll want more and you can move up to real exercises with real weights.

[raced_god]

"He can do those, there's nothing wrong with doing things like that."

There was nothing

wrong

with doing things like that.

[tank_rockarms]

"There ain't nothin' wrong with teachin' him how to do that stuff," agreed Max.

Just so long as you either wore a belt that hoisted absurd amounts of weight betwixt your legs, or you otherwise held weight in your hands or on your back while you did them.

Once you knew

what you

were

doing.

"I do that stuff." With a Snorlax sitting on his back.