O, Signage of Truth and Virtue! Enter into Our Swoledom: Enter into Our Hearts!

[raced_god]

Who: Max, Captain Falcon, you?????
What: Hanging posters. Maybe some other stuff. Maybe whatever you want.
When: Week of April 21st.
Where: Around campus and also the locker rooms I guess.
Warnings: Swolitude. Tiny towels. Man talk.



The posters have sprung up overnight. Tacked to bulletin boards, plastered on lampposts--anywhere that can feasibly hold a flyer, the posters are there. The question, then, is where are they coming from? Who is putting them up?

The answer is perhaps obvious. If one pays attention, it is not difficult to find one Max Powers around campus with a stapler, one Captain Falcon following him with a stack of flyers.

One can only imagine the things that run through his head. I've saved the universe, he thinks to himself. I am the greatest racecar driver that ever lived, he thinks, with every clack of Max's stapler. I own islands.

And yet

And yet, dear reader, there they are.

Comments

[givemeyouranswerdo]

Daisy took a look at one of the posters, and the wheels started to turn. "I don't really want or need swole, but maybe adding some weight lifting to my routine would help my baseball swing and my throw," she mused.

[raced_god]

"The hours are listed on the flyer," Falcon said helpfully, handing another one over to Max.

[givemeyouranswerdo]

"I'm game, coach. Long as I don't have to end up looking like a box," she replied.

[raced_god]

"Looking like a box is figurative."

He hoped, anyway.

[bluetanker]

"It's harder for girls to look like boxes," said Max as he stapled yet another flier to yet another bulletin board. "The shoulders and core don't fill out right unless you're Sakura. But you can still add lean muscle, and improve your sports playin.'"

[givemeyouranswerdo]

"Like I said. Just don't wanna look like a box. But I'll try anything once!"

[raced_god]

"You don't have to look like a box. Max thinks everyone should look like a box."

Even people who should not look like boxes.

[tank_rockarms]

"I don't think everybody should look like a box," said Max.

"Not everybody can look like a box, 'cause they ain't got the right frame for it," he further explained. So, if it is physically impossible for a person to look like a box, he thinks that they should not look like a box.

[givemeyouranswerdo]

"Then your poster is kinda false advertising," Daisy joked.

[raced_god]

Falcon held his hands up in defense.

"I'm just helping to hang them," he said.

[tank_rockarms]

"You can look more like a box, even if you can't get all the way to box," said Max, who was already all the way to 'steel shipping container.' "You will be more box-like than you used to be."

[givemeyouranswerdo]

"I'm just saying, if someone can't physically look like a box, you shouldn't be advertising that you can make them look like a box," Daisy explained. It was actually less explaining and more her trying to tease the shipping container shaped man.

[raced_god]

Falcon sort of wondered how all of these conversations turned into things he didn't want to begin to touch.

"Yeah, maybe you should have put 'you're gonna look more box-like'."

[tank_rockarms]

"You want to print off another 500 of these with that fixed, and go hang them up with me then?" Max asked.

[raced_god]

"Not really, no."

[givemeyouranswerdo]

Daisy just had to laugh at this exchange.