smash_logs | NO, NOT THE BIG SECRET

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NO, NOT THE BIG SECRET

Who: Evve & Jolt
What: secrets revealed
Where: An abandoned dorm room
When: Jan. 30
Warnings: pain and gross

She didn't understand.

For some reason, the dye she would apply to her hair would spot fade rather than grow out from the roots. It was as if the application refused to remain to the strands in order to prolong her suffering on what was becoming a monthly basis. There was so little Evve could explain about the hair color she was met with when she transformed for the first time into a human since her departure. Her hair color was incredibly bold, pinks and whites and wraps of blue to emphasize it all, not to mention that obtrusive bow just ruining her entire day if she bothered to look in a mirror.

Today wasn't going to be any different in her hair dying experience, of course. She'd hover over the tub, shaking every time she picked up the plastic bottle with the mix inside prepared for use. She was familiar with the pain to a sickening point, but even in knowing what to expect, she would nearly vomit from the anxiety of the experience every time. Desperate to remain an Eevee in society, she would proceed to deal with it. Every time.

The brunette portions were always easy. No sensations, no stimulation to be concerned with or anything of the like. Apply, let it sit, wash it out. Simple. It was when she got to those two front locks of hair is when she had to brace herself, because it is then and for thirty minutes thereafter that she would pitch her torso over the porcelain and sob from the pain, sometimes nearly throwing up or just trying to hold it all in. She figured her shame was well hidden in the walls of several empty rooms, and so she had nothing to fear in letting it all go.

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Unfortunately for her, that was all about to change. For perhaps the last person she wanted to see ever, Jolt, was in the hallways. He had grabbed himself a snack, and was on his way back to his place, when, walking by one of the doors in the girls dorms, he heard what definitely sounded to him like crying. And sounds of pain. Two things one did not normally hear, and it caused some immediate concern in Jolt. He knocked on the door. "Hello? You okay in there?" he asked immediately. He didn't even have to think about it.

Between fits of coughing and trying to keep her stomach down, Evve failed to hear him. His voice was washed out in the heated haze surrounding her head, one that only unconsciously made her check her watch. God, she still have another fifteen minutes to deal with this?! Unreasonable, she thought, hugging onto the side of the tub and closing her eyes.

The fact that not only didn't the sounds stop but sounded as bad as ever made Jolt worry. He didn't even know whose room this was. All he knew was that someone inside was in trouble. He had to do something to help.

He rattled the door. It wasn't locked. Opening the door a crack, he confirmed what he thought he heard before. Sounds of crying and pain. His resolve stronger than ever, he opened the door all the way and let himself in, trying to find the source of the crying.

Eventually, he pinpointed the bathroom, and went right for it. "Are you oka--" Jolt cut himself off.

Evve. Oh great. Just what he needed now, to be chewed out by her. But why was she crying...? What was she doing alone in here? And why was some of her hair pink?

The voice behind her locked her muscles into place, her nails digging into a porcelain that wanted nothing to do with them. With a sense of dread, she looked over her shoulder, her face a right mess with sweat and saliva and splatters of hair dye along her cheekbones.

She could barely keep her breathing steady, let alone start yelling at him, so she just stared, exhausted and angry, but mostly in pain. Her lips tightened in order to hold back her whimpering, much luck an animal refusing to admit its injuries. However her body language betrayed her. She was shaking, tears welling up at the corners of her eyes...

It took Jolt several moments to register what was going on. Evve was doing something to herself. That something involved dying her hair. But not dying it pink, dying it brown. Why the heck would she be doing that? Why would it be causing her pain? He might put it together after he got over the shock of seeing her like this. But first things first, whatever else she may think of him, she looked like hell, and he felt a need to help her.

He knelt next to her, reaching out a hand to the back of her head. "What happened? Are you hurt?" There was genuine concern on his face and in his voice. Despite all the times he teased her, he couldn't bring himself to hate her. He honestly did kind of like her.

When she glanced toward his hand, the first thing that came to mind was how much more could she possibly take? The searing burn of the dye was already doing a number and whenever she washed it out, it was like digging into the open wound before the relief arrived. She couldn't help but have a knee-jerk reaction, flinching her head away from his hand.

"Don't touch me!"

She pressed her cheek into the porcelain, trying to relax her churning stomach. "Of course it hurts..." Ugh, she couldn't even yell anymore. She couldn't barely process his questions correctly. The shame of being seen like this was slowly sinking in, but she didn't know what to do about it besides be angry.

"What hurts? What are you doing to yourself in here...?" he asked, pulling his hand back after her angry shout. This was going as well as he assumed it would. She clearly had no desire to see him, and yet here he was, being concerned about her. He knew she didn't appreciate it, and he did it anyway. Sometimes he could be a real dumbass.

The last thing Evve wanted to do was answer him honestly. It was painfully obvious what she was doing, but why it hurt probably was less clear. It'd been some time since she put the dye in, so she decided to answer him with a question instead to avoid her answer.

"Is it... Is it brown enough yet?"

"Brown enough-- You're sitting here writhing in pain, almost throwing up, and you're worried about your dye job?" he asked in profound disbelief. Dying one's hair shouldn't have done this. Not unless she had, like a severe allergy to the dye. In which case, why use it at all?

He just resolved himself to answer her question. He wanted to make sure she was okay first. "Well... I can still see some pink," he answered honestly.

His answer prompted a swift pound of her fist into the inside of the tub, swallowing back a colorful array of curse words not suited for her character. Since it couldn't be helped that he had seen what he had, she chose to skip trying to dismiss and went to reach for her hair. The sensitive portions riddled with dye were carefully handled, but it didn't stop her from gritted her teeth and shivering under the pressure of agony in the process. She could slightly feel the places he suggested were lacking and she coated them quickly and as efficiently as possible.

When finished, her body slumped further, breaths as heavy as she felt.

Jolt watched, feeling sick to his stomach as he did. She was purposefully hurting herself to do this... What could possibly be so important that she'd torture herself? Vanity? She didn't seem the vain type. How was her hair hurting when she dyed it? That part was something he just couldn't figure out. And there was one other thing he couldn't figure out. In his vain attempt at understanding what was going on, he blurted out, "You should probably take the bow off before you do that."

"I can't!" She growled, shivering fingers trying to get a grip to push her body back to an upright position. Just staying hunched over made her feel even more ill.

There was another sharp breath before she repeated, "I can't just take it off."

"Why the heck not? It's just a big pink--"

Jolt froze. A wave of realization hit him. He might not have made the connection if he hadn't been poring over every detail he could find about Eeveelutions, particularly the recent discovery. Or at least recent to him. But that bow... The fact that parts of her hair were now sensitive to the touch... How she was dying her hair so it wouldn't be pink.

He got up to his feet like a shot, and stepped back from her. The more he looked at her the more he realized he was right, and the more questions it raised for him. He tried to find the right words, but finally simply blurted it out.

"You evolved to a Sylveon."

The look Evve shot at him could've cut the entire dorm building in half in a single fucking shot.

"Shut up!" And yet it was hardly anger that was on her face. Hearing a voice beyond the one in her own mind say it left nothing but the imprint of fear in her expression.

"Just be quiet..." She looked down into the porcelain, a foggy reflection of her scroungy hair and dark skin looking back at her.

Having made this revelation, Jolt wasn't about to keep quiet. His mind was racing as he pieced together what this meant.

"You're dying your hair to make yourself look like you're still an Eevee," he stated the obvious. "Even though you know the ribbon feelers are sensitive, so trying to dye them is like pouring shampoo in your eyes. Why the hell would you do this to yourself? What's so bad about just being a Sylveon?"

She mumbled every synonym for silence she could under her breath, perhaps as a mechanism to calm herself down or because she just couldn't get her volume to rise in connection with the boiling rage she felt with each and every word he said. He was pushing it and he kept pushing it and her dark skin was felt a burn it could barely expose.

But upon his last question, she slammed her fists into the tub again, snapping in his direction with a bark. "Are you enjoying this?! Do you get off to pressing others this way?"

She just couldn't answer him. Answering him was too close to accepting it, wasn't it?

Evve curled her arms against the edge of the bath tub and dropped her face carefully into them. She couldn't really remove herself from the room like this, so she'd hide the only way she can.

At her vicious accusation, Jolt started to feel something beyond worry. She ribbed him, insulted him, told him to bug off before, but now... This time he was actually starting to feel angry at her.

A scowl overtook his normally bright and cheerful features. "Hey, did it ever occur to you, even ONCE, that maybe I'm ACTUALLY worried about you?! Did you ever stop to think that?! This may surprise you, but no, I DON'T enjoy watching people leaning over a bathtub puking their guts up because they want to torture themselves!"

Head down and eyes buried in darkness, Evve felt the sweat from her face sinking into her arms. She knew she was lashing out because of the pain, but she also knew he wasn't wrong. She was doing this to herself and even within the logic of knowing this would all go away if she accepted her new identity, it was in combat with her pride, but more importantly she was facing a facet of grief. Denial.

Crying was involuntary at this point, the pain made sure of that, but it was an agony that ran deep and no amount of sobbing it out was going to get her over it. She was so fucking mad that she wanted to keep arguing with him, but it wouldn't amount to anything other than amplifying an already horrific headache that made her temples feel like they were throbbing.

She lifted her head again to stare at him, breathing through parted lips because her nose was clogged from vomiting.

"It'd be... a disgusting hobby... B-but nothing surprises me anymore." She turned her face back toward the tub, droplets plopping off her chin and into the porcelain.

"Are... Are you serious?!" he retorted. He couldn't believe her. After all this, she STILL talks to him like he were the bad guy, for doing nothing more than being an evolved Eevee. Now look at her, turned into a Sylveon, and still berating him for that. Her hypocrisy was overwhelming him.

But... his anger started to wane as he looked down at her. No... Now he pitied her, looking this pathetic while trying to talk down to him.

"You know what? Fine. Think whatever you god damn want. I'm done with you. But one day you're gonna have to come to grips with this, because guess what? Evolution is a one-way street. You can't go back, so learn to deal." He turned to leave her to her misery, trying to force himself to put her out of his mind.

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NO, NOT THE BIG SECRET

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