DEMOLITIONS CLASS - Lesson 1

[iamtheeggman]

Who: Eggman, Students and Special Guests
What: Eggman's classes are off to an excellent start
Where: Demolitions classroom
When:Wednesday, September 18

He was ruling the city. He almost ruled the school too. But all of that was over now... Was he bitter? Yes. Very yes. Everything was going so perfectly until that cat interfered with everything. Now, back in this dead end teaching gig, Dr. Eggman was ready to take out his frustrations on all of his poor unfortunate students.

"All right, all right, SIT DOWN AND SHUT UP," he grumbled irritably as he began to write on the blackboard.

"My name is Dr. Eggman, and welcome to your first day of DEMOLITIONS. I'm going to be teaching you everything from lighting off firecrackers to decimating cities, and you are ALL GOING TO LEARN SOMETHING FROM THIS OR SO HELP ME YOU LITTLE INGRATES--"

He caught himself on his tangent, taking a deep breath. "Let's just jump right in..."

Comments

ATTENDANCE

[iamtheeggman]

[kumagypsy]

NO.

Why does Eggman have to teach the best class. Whyyyyy.

[iamtheeggman]

Because your best friend ditched you to go get teen pregnant. That's why.

[butterbelieveamanspromise]

A class where he's going to be graded based on how well he's able to destroy stuff? BRING ON THE A GRADES.

[iamtheeggman]

Finally, someone who GETS IT!

[worldrestored]

Why is there a class on demolitions.

He's...here?

THE LESSON BEGINS... OR DOES IT?

[iamtheeggman]

"Now, your first lesson will be about one of the most basic forms of explosive, FIRECRACKERS. They don't cause much damage, but they are certainly SURPRISING. And in any successful strike, there is no greater advantage than the element of surprise..."

Thank you for the near flawless set-up

[holydeath]

The element of surprise was indeed a powerful thing, but the best part about it was that it wasn't limited to just explosives. The element of surprise was a key component in lots of things, especially causing pain. If you didn't know a blow is coming your way then you simply could not dodge or block it.

Or, in this particular case, if you didn't know a nun wearing heavy body armor was flung several hundred feet into the air and was now crashing through the roof above you...well...said nun was going to land on top of you. Which is precisely what happened to the Good Doctor.

Ouch.

[obfuskate]

SNEEEERK.

[iamtheeggman]

OH WHAT FRESH HELL IS THIS?!

SUDDENLY, WITHOUT WARNING, AN ARMORED NUN CRASHED THROUGH HIS ROOF.

HE BARELY HAD TIME TO SCREAM BEFORE SHE LANDED RIGHT ON HIM.

THAT ARMOR WAS PRETTY GODDAMN HEAVY TOO. SO HE WAS BADLY INJURED. HE MIGHT HAVE EVEN CRACKED SOME RIBS.

"AAAAAARRRRRGH!!!"

[obfuskate]

Oh my god no he's done he's so done.

[kuragekasa]

"AAAAAARRRRRGH!!!"

"WAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaah!!!"

INTENSE FLAILING.

[iamtheeggman]

"MY BACK!!!

AAAARRRRGH!!!"

1/2

[holydeath]

WOW WHO EVEN CARES ABOUT YOUR BACK, EGGMAN? DON'T YOU KNOW HER ASS AND TAILBONE ARE FEELING...

...

...pretty okay. Wow, she must have fallen on something exceptionally soft.

2/2

[holydeath]

OH FUCK THAT'S A PERSON.

"O-oh my goodness! I'm so sorry! Here, let me heal you with m-"

AND THEN CLEAR FELL ON HER. SO YEAH, SHE'LL TRY TO HEAL YOU AFTER SHE PUSHES HIM OFF. SORRY, DOC.

Re: 2/2

[iamtheeggman]

"SOMEBODY CALL AN AMBULAAAAARRRGH!!" HE SCREAMED AS CLEAR LANDED ON THE BOTH OF THEM AND ONLY MADE THINGS WORSE FOR HIM.

[kuragekasa]

"E-Eeeeh..."

Clear was worn out from all of that flailing and falling.

Off he finally rolled from the two, landing on the ground face-first.

[holydeath]

With Clear thankfully off her, Sister Hel staggered to her feet. Her balance wasn't all that great just yet, but thankfully she didn't end up falling back on top of Eggman. Small blessings and all that.

"...as I was saying earlier, if you'd like I can heal you with my magic. I can't promise you'll be back to full health, but you'll be feeling a lot better."

[iamtheeggman]

Eggman couldn't move. He was in far too much pain for that.

All he had the strength to do was mutter "Class dismissed," before collapsing.

1 OF 2....

[thereyouare]

Dismissed? BUT SHE JUST GOT HERE.

"Doctor - ?"

Vivian had come to visit him at the very least once she heard his class was in session, but when she saw him crushed into the floor, she rushed over.

"Doctor!!"

And with a long pause -

2 OF 2..........

[thereyouare]

"Who is responsible for this?"

Oh shit.

[holydeath]

Oh son of a bitch, this just kept getting worse and worse.

"That would be me. I...accidentally fell on top of him. If you'll just give me a second to heal him, he should be good as new."

[kuragekasa]

"Waaaaaaaaaah-!"

And then Clear also fell on top of them.



WAIT BUT WHY WAS HE... AND WHERE DID HE EVEN... oh, whatever.

[kumagypsy]

It's raining men!? hallelujah!?

"I didn't sign up for this shit."

[butterbelieveamanspromise]

"Is this supposed to be part of the lesson or...?" asked an equally confused corncob head.

[iamtheeggman]

Eggman couldn't answer. He was too busy being in agony and unconscious.

[kumagypsy]

"People falling from the sky, or the teacher being horrifically injured? If it's the latter, I can get used to this." Kumatora pondered aloud, ignoring the pile of twitching Eggman.

[butterbelieveamanspromise]

"Better than that chick goin' splat," added Mondo. "She had someone nice and fat to land on."

[worldrestored]

WAIT a minute....was that a nun?!

Someone behind the both of them didn't look too happy...why where there flames coming out of his mouth?

[kumagypsy]

"I bet this is way better than whatever the doc had planned." She turns around to see the guy covered in tats spitting fire. "Uh... you okay there, buddy?"

[butterbelieveamanspromise]

Mondo was prompted to turn around too and HOLY SHIT, WHO BREATHES FIRE? That guy had always given him weird vibes, but now it was way over the line.

"The hell's wrong with you? Nurse's office ain't too far from here, man."

LURKERS

[iamtheeggman]

[obfuskate]

Snerk.

[iamtheeggman]

THIS IS NOT FUNNY.

[obfuskate]

It is and you know it.

[iamtheeggman]

WHEN YOU HAVE A NUN COVERED IN HEAVY METAL ARMOR LAND ON YOU.

THEN YOU CAN TALK ABOUT WHAT'S FUNNY.

[obfuskate]

Oh please I can lift a semi with no problem.

You big baby.

[iamtheeggman]

GUESS WHO HAS TWO THUMBS, A BROKEN RIBCAGE, CAN'T LIFT A SEMI, AND CAN'T LIFT HIS ARMS TO GESTURE AT HIMSELF?

THIS GUY.

[obfuskate]

Oh. That's fine. Okay.

Biiiiiiiiiiiiiig babyyyyyyyy.

[insanecharisma]

True, that Soryk was curious over Seth's rival. He had to be if he planned on taking Seth's place. More or less that he had made himself the self-proclaimed replacement. Soryk had only ever heard Eggman before and like many things, he listened a lot and spoke very little. Not because he had nothing to say. Only because he could only learn when he wasn't flapping his own lips.

Regardless of how he preferred the sound of his own voice.

With goblin engineering in the back of his mind, he was seemingly content to listen to Eggman's various lectures. The concept of explosions certainly seemed to be a blinding reminder of various things he'd seen in Orgrimmar or his other travels. But to be fair, he really looked out of place.

[iamtheeggman]

Eggman hated people watching his classes. He hated a lot of things, really. He just cast a glance in Soryk's direction every now and then.

At least until he was crushed by a falling Battle Nun.

[insanecharisma]

Well, it was just too bad that Eggman had to deal with an effeminate elf watching him because he was there to stay. And when he was crushed by a falling Battle Nun, Soryk realised that only in this academy could something so utterly ridiculous happen.

But he did crack his façade. A hand lifted just so he could hide the curve in his mouth behind it. Perhaps he'd have to go thank the young woman later for just such a happenstance later. He probably wouldn't, but he was able to entertain the thought well enough.

There was no way he could refrain from a haughty, "What a shame," remark, however. Some things about him just weren't going to change.

[iamtheeggman]

"YOU SHUT AAAAGH!" Eggman tried to scream before his pain worsened.

Soon he was unconscious from the pain. And Soryk could laugh in peace.

[insanecharisma]

"You appear to be caught up in a rather poor predicament."

It was Soryk's only real observation. Not that he was really ever the laugh out loud sort and he still hadn't when Eggman had been crushed by the overly large woman. But a smile had been enough to give off the amusement he was experiencing.

But it was more than the initial happenings that interested the rogue. It was how Eggman planned to deal with it. In other words, Soryk had wanted to know if discipline would be a part of things.

[Not Here]

[holydeath]

Overly large? Excuse you, this is all muscle.

And body armor

but mostly muscle.