smash_logs | [Open Log] Body Horror Support Group

Who: Banjo and Attendees
What: Banjo tries to help out people who have been transformed. Mayhem ensues.
Where: The dorm common room
When: July 2

Well, another week, another sanity bending event occurring at Smash Academy. Banjo was starting to wonder whether the reduced tuition rates were worth all the insanity. But at least the current crisis was something Banjo was somewhat familiar with.

During his adventures, Banjo had been transformed into all manner of animals and objects, repeatedly and with frightening regularity. Of course in his case, it was because he asked for the help of witch doctors and shamanesses, so it wasn't against his will. Except for that one time Mumbo Jumbo accidentally turned him into a washing machine. That sucked. But without any witch doctors around here, there was nothing Banjo could do to help anyone, so he decided to do the next best thing.

A sign over the entrance to the common room read "TRANSFORMATION SUPPORT GROUP. FREE SNACKS." He had a couple of bowls of chips, some cookies, and bottles of soda sitting out, along with chairs. If nothing else, he could offer his wealth of knowledge and experience on the subject of body horror.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

After finally removing himself from the computer lab, where he had been trapped for a good while following his transformation, Pulse was making his way carefully down the hall, hoping to find someone who could possibly tell him what was going on, how it got started, and maybe even know what creature he had turned into. Now that he was no longer able to literally keep his finger on the pulse of school network communications, he knew that he was going to be made aware of news and developments a lot later than he would have liked. He was essentially stuck having to ask people face-to-face about current events now, and his cumbersome body wasn't going to make it any less difficult for him.

At the same time, he was still concerned about whether or not the bake sale was still going on; he would need to check the cashbox and find out if he was finally able to give Max his change. ...Yeah, he might need someone's help for that, too.

He just happened to see the sign hanging above the common room entrance as he was passing by. Considering how he just found out about this now, he was probably already late. There probably wasn't even enough room in there for him, especially not with all the other affected people meeting in there.

But he poked his great big scaly head in anyway.

"H-Hello?"

Banjo was startled, but only for a moment. He had been a T-rex before too.

"Hello...? You here for the support group?"

Was that a talking anthropomorphic bear over there? Pulse was willing to accept that it was. This was a world where such things could exist.

Pulse looked around the room the best he could, noticing the table with concessions laid out, nothing that seemed appetizing to him, however. He looked over the chairs, now nothing more to him than mere obstacles standing around in the room. He had been curious, but now he was feeling a little unwelcome, although that was no one's fault in particular.

He turned his attention back to the talking bear.

"Uh, yes, sir. ...I think."

He offered one hand, reaching out as far as he could in an attempt to clear the proximity of his body.

"M-My name is Pulse, sir. I, um... This... It was yesterday, when I... When I turned into this, sir."

Huh. A very polite dinosaur.

Banjo reached out to shake the hand. "I'm Banjo," he replied. "So turned into a dinosaur?" he asked. King of the obvious.

"Oh, hello, Mister Banjo, sir."

What a name. He didn't know of very many people named after musical instruments.

"If I did, it's not any dinosaur I'm familiar with, sir. Are there any that, um... breathe fire, sir?"

Banjo thought for a few moments more.

"Well... Maybe you're turning into a dragon...?"

This man is sitting in a chair, crying into his hands.

Banjo patted the bald crying man's shoulder. "Uh... There there... Would you like a wig?"

"I want my own beautiful hair," said Jock. "I'm naked. I'm all naked." He held up his arms as proof. "Nothing. Nothing anywhere."

"That's not true," Banjo replied. "You've got those little sideburn things there."

"They're all I have, and they're PINK," said the depressed man. "I don't want pink sideburns. I want white sideburns and hair everywhere."

Banjo gave it thought for a moment, hand on his fuzzy chin. "Well... What if you bleached your sideburns until you change back?"

Here's a Flint.

He looks pretty normal. And like he doesn't want to be here.

What's he doing here?

Huh. Someone who looked normal. That was unexpected. "Hello, what brings you here?" Banjo asked.

"Well, I, uh..." Flint hesitated. No, he could do this. He came here for a reason.

He slowly reached up and removed his hat to reveal....!!

Not hair. There was never any hair. Flint was bald as a bean, of course. But instead of his usual, shiny chrome dome, there was a large patch of bright green scales, slowly growing across the top of his head.

"You ever seen anything like this?"

Huh.

"Well, maybe SOMETHING like it," Banjo said. "I turned into a crocodile before once, looks a bit like that. Maybe that's what's happening?"

"Some kinda lizard, ya think?" Flint placed his hat back on his head. "Well, it's more that it's taking longer than it has before. Last time somethin' like this happened, it just happened all of a sudden. One minute I was me, then next I was a buffalo."

It says a lot about Flint's time here that he could say that with a straight face and without expecting Banjo to think he was crazy for it.

That was... not quite the answer Banjo expected. "A buffalo? Well, at least it wasn't a washing machine."

"Maybe it's just some slow working magic stuff," he suggested. "Like a real dilute form of spell being used on people."

"Or someone just thinks this is funny and is making it slow on purpose."

[Open Log] Body Horror Support Group

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