BODY HORROR BAKE SALE

[genderbentmario]

Who: Lyra, helpers, unsuspecting customers, etc.
What: A bake sale fated to go horrifically wrong. Don't worry, every item is made with love*!
Where: Out on the campus green.
When: June 28 - 30
Warnings: _{*Love may contain traces of Magikoopa dandruff and/or traces of peanuts.}

[It'd taken a whole lot of hard work -- certainly not just from Lyra, but from everyone who had volunteered to chip in -- but all the baking had been done, the booths had been set up, the cashboxes were ready, and the banners were hung. Time to make a positive difference in the community!

It was a perfect day for it today, too. Nice and sunny, with not a hint of rain. All the various trays of baking were laid out lovingly. Cupcakes, cookies, cinnamon rolls, slices of loafs and scones and muffins and cakes and poffins and all other sorts of delectables, all just waiting for snacking. A good supply of napkins, plastic forks, and the like were prepared and waiting, and there were chilled pitchers of ice tea and lemonade, along with a few premade shakers of Aprijuice. How could anyone possibly refuse a spread like this?]

((OOC: And this marks the official beginning of the body horror event! You're welcome to use this log if you need a starting point for your grisly gruesome transformation. Volunteers, feel free to mingle with customers. Hapless victims, go ahead and chat with fellow doomed souls, etc. Go wild, amigos.))

Comments

A Prelude to Scaliness, Among Many Other Misery-Inducing Things

[voltecpower]

What was Pulse doing here? He doesn't eat human food. Oh wait, he was standing behind the counter. He wasn't here to buy, apparently, but to sell.

He stood there behind a rather colorful table laid out with many different varieties of poffin, something he had learned to prepare just a day or so ago, and found that he was outstandingly good at it. (Especially during the final stage where it's important to stir as fast as humanly possible, or in Pulse's case, somewhere just under light speed.) Aside from almost running the Academy storage out of Berries, that and one moment where he had to dive to catch a dislodged bowl of sifted flour and caught a fair bit of it in his face (likely having inhaled some of it), his experiences in the kitchen came off without a hitch.

He hadn't had many chances in his life to actually make something, and he was rightfully very proud of his creations, smiling face lit up and chest puffed out. The only thing which served to break his mood was an unusual itching sensation which had begun to break out on his armor; he had to pause every now and then to scratch lightly at his chest and stomach. He wondered if perhaps he might be allergic to the flour, or some other ingredient that was used the other day. If so, he could only have inherited it from his father, and he was unaware of any allergies he had when he was alive. All in all, Pulse hoped he would be okay, at least for the rest of the day, as he was there to help represent the half-human/AI population of the Academy.

If he wasn't found there at the tables, he would be seen walking around, carrying a tray of free samples, namely small cut-up pieces of his own poffins. He had simply made too many. He was also curious as to what others thought of them, seeing as how he couldn't try them himself.

A MAXINATION

[tank_rockarms]

A giant wall of a man came up.

He looked at the things for sale and asked a question that seemed to pain him.

"Do you have any... vegan... baked goods?" he asked.

Oh Deary Goodness Me

[voltecpower]

Vegan. He had heard that word before. Not often, though. What did it mean? Something like vegetarian but a bit more hardcore.

"Vegan, sir? Um... I'm not really sure. I'm sorry."

He glanced around at the items.

"Everything has flour in it, I think... I'm not sure..."

Scratching an itch that just popped up on his left shoulder, he turned his blue-eyed gaze back up at Max.

"What would be the requirements for something to be vegan, sir?"

He may be good at following recipes, but a culinary expert he was not.

D E A L W I T H I T

[tank_rockarms]

"No animal products in it. Like, no milk or butter or eggs," said Max, who looked grumpy about having to explain what vegan was.

None of the good stuff.

Wah

[voltecpower]

Pulse stared for a moment, then shifted his gaze off to the side, silently counting off the ingredients to himself on his fingers.

"Umm... Not that I know of, sir. Buuuuut I'm pretty sure that most of what went into the poffins were flour, water, and berries. I'm not certain about milk."

Pause.

"...But I'm sure Lyra could tell you!"

[makesitcool]

Cress too had been one of the many helpers for this charity event. It put him in a good mood to be able to pitch his energy into something productive and fun to organize rather than depressing and full of anxiety- the loss of his girlfriend, the overabundance of robots, falling short of his own personal expectations as a Pokemon trainer... The list scrolled on.

Pulse was an interesting fellow. For having no experience, he had exemplary skills in the kitchen, and he wondered how his end products tasted. However, there was a bit of apprehension that welled up whenever he got close to the C-Life, and it made him feel a weight of guilt get strapped to his chest because he had a very nice attitude and didn't mean anything bad. It's not like he could help being artificial. If anything, it was on Cress to, well... stop avoiding him. It felt like senseless prejudice and it felt pretty gross.

Maybe now would be a good time to confront his fears, Cress thought to himself after arranging some napkins on the table. Start easy! After all, it was doing him no good to live in fear all the time. Donning a smile that betrayed his anxiousness, he waltzed over to where Pulse stood with his sample tray and greeted him.

"May Cress try a sample? It has been so busy with getting set up, and I was curious to see how they turned out."

[voltecpower]

Pulse turned to look, wondering if he was being addressed, and saw the friendly-looking blue-haired fellow standing there.

"Oh, yes sir! Um... Mister Cress, right? Please, feel free to sample them."

Blue eyes sparkling, he smiled as he held the tray up so that Cress could inspect its contents.

[makesitcool]

Giving him a nod and a heartfelt thank you, Cress plucked one of the sample cups and fingered it out of the casing, bringing it to his mouth for a try. Poffins were meant for Pokemon, but that didn't mean humans couldn't eat them at all.

The water-type specialist chewed it carefully, let the flavor saturate his tongue. Everything about the morsel satisfied his standards, from the texture to the taste. This was known by the way he perked up out of his thoughtful trance, snapping his fingers and proclaiming, "Oh, that was very good! You mentioned that this was your first time baking poffins, correct?"

[voltecpower]

He thought it was good?

He thought it was good! This pleased Pulse muchly.

"You really think so? Oh, um, yes sir. Before I was making these for the sale, I hadn't even heard of them. We don't have poffins where, ah, where I come from."

I've forgotten if they've met IC or not. Have they?

[tempus_fixit]

"Hi, there!" Lucca nods to Pulse from where she'd been perusing the strawberry pastries, and then regards the samples on the tray he's holding.

"What're those?"

Nope, this is their first meeting

[voltecpower]

"Oh, um, hello, ma'am."

Pulse glanced down at his tray, as though having forgotten for a moment what he had been carrying around with him. Truth be told, he was getting a little distracted by the itching, which was now constant and was starting to spread all over his body. He was still able to resist scratching most of the time, though as he addressed Lucca, he couldn't help standing on one leg and rubbing the back of it with his other foot, only for a second or two.

"These? These are, um, poffins. They're something from a place called Sinnoh, I think. They're like... like a cross between a bun and a cookie. They're made with berries I've never heard of."

[tempus_fixit]

Sadly his epidermal distress goes unnoticed for the moment, as she considers the poffins and then the person carrying them.

"Wait... you're a robot, right?" He says, perking up a bit more. "That's cool, but if you are, can you even eat things like this?"

[voltecpower]

"Whaa..."

Oh, right. Half-C-Life awareness still wasn't something widely taught outside of his... immediate family. Luckily, he was getting used to having to explain things to every new person he met.

"...A-actually, no, I'm not robotic. I'm half human, and my other half is constructed from code, like a program. So, this part right here..."

He let go of the tray with one hand and tapped himself on the front tip of his "helmet" fin with his index finger.

"...This is data manifested into a solid form. But this..."

He touched his finger to his cheek, part of the only visible flesh-toned area on his entire body. As he had just suddenly begun to feel irritation there, he lightly scratched at it with his fingertips for a moment.

"...This is human flesh, as far as anyone can tell. But I guess I do share some trait with robots... I can't eat human food. The only reason for that is because I... I'm... I think the word you have is 'unfinished'. I wasn't exactly born with a fully functioning human body."

good thing shadow's allergic to peanuts. (note: he isn't.)

[obfuskate]

[ Oh, and Shadow couldn't. To turn down buying fresh sweets of all kinds was a travesty that only the most gruesome creatures would dare to commit. He may have behaved like a monster at times - that is, if trying to destroy an entire planet counted - but hell if he was going to do something this terrible. He had to eat these delicious delights. He must.

Therefore, he could be seen sitting at one of the tables, sometimes going back and forth to the booth to pay for yet more treats. He was devouring them at... quite a quick pace, goodness. He really was hungry, wasn't he?

Dare you bother the grazing hedgehog? ]

[voltecpower]

Some little red spike-headed fellow just had to run up and bug him.

"Oh, Mister Shadow, sir..."

But he paused, head cocked slightly to one side, wondering to himself how something so short could eat so fast.

[obfuskate]

A-Ah...

Well, that certainly got him to stop shoveling sugar down his gullet, albeit with a momentary pause. He made sure to chew and swallow, at least, before speaking, because Chaos knew he had a sense of manners.

"Pulseman." Shadow eyed him expectantly, a hand still lightly gripping his spoon. "Am I needed for something?"

[voltecpower]

Pulse bowed politely.

"Sir."

Standing upright, he gestured with his hand toward a number of iceboxes, which were sitting back behind the tables.

"I was told that we had a potential customer who had put in a special request for a... tres leche cake. Was it you, sir?"

[obfuskate]

"Y... es. Yes it was."

Oh, sweet Chaos, he had no idea that Pulse was literally working for this here bake sale. If he'd known, he would have behaved a little more receptively.

Now that the knowledge was realized, however, it became very pertinent and important, conducive to delicious cake. Cue Shadow's finest sucking up.

"Do you know when it will be ready? Or... is it?"

He was just going to throw a little tail wiggle in for good measure.

OH BOY, POFFINS

[flamejock]

Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh, they have poffins. Oh my gosh.

"I have a dollar!" said Jock excitedly, as he fished around in a pocket. "I want all the dry poffins I can get for a dollar!"

That was probably going to be one poffin, Jock. One, single poffin.

[makesitcool]

Oh, my, it's the Arcanine that basically hospitalized his triplet brother that one time. Cress eyed him warily, then offered him a quaint smile.

"One poffin coming right up, sir." He served up one blue poffin on a cute little paper plate.

[flamejock]

Your brother's an idiot and you, sir, were a pushover. Easiest gym Jock had ever been to.

Jock stared down at the single poffin on the little paper plate.

"Only one," he said glumly, as he handed over the dollar.

[makesitcool]

Never speak of that miserable defeat again. Ever.

"Why, yes. I believe one dollar can be exchanged for one poffin. Of course, you could always come back with more dollars so that you may indulge in more poffins," Cress persuaded as they dealt money for food. "Your dollar allows for you to participate in not only a delicious poffin, but a positive change in the community, after all."

somebody knows the magical secrets to these cursed cupcakes

[cruelcurse]

Over time, Henry had grown accustomed to sweets after that first unfortunate incident back at the host club. It was a quick adjustment, but he actually found that some of the more subtly flavored confections suited his fancy just right. Heavily frosted cupcakes, however, was something he was still not ready for. Cookies? Those were fine, and he liked them. A lot.

But Henry was not necessarily here to try out the baked goods, oh no. He knows a curse when a curse is afoot. And that's why he's here: to examine these magical pastries. That's right: Henry knows.

And it's possible to talk to him about it, if someone would like to approach him.

A HELPER WANTS TO BE A CUSTOMER

[makesithot]

Working with these poffins, cupcakes, and other various goods for a while (WOW CRESS HE TOTALLY MAKES ACE POFFINS SHUT THE HELL UP) left Chili wanting something.

Something cinnamon-y, and something roll-y.

So when things died down for a bit, Chili decided he was going to play customer and walked up to the table from the opposite side that he was working on. With the intent of nabbing one of those cinnamon rolls.

[youmayhavewon]

Here's a customer. Kind of. Proton debated long and hard about whether he wanted to do this after seeing Lyra's announcement on the network, and ultimately decided he could make this work. He had his cap on which made him look a little shady but did an okay job of shadowing his face. And even if she did recognize him -- he hadn't done anything wrong (yet) on campus. If a scene was made it would be over seemingly nothing to someone who didn't know about the Johto thing. He could play the innocent card unless she pissed him off too much that would be a problem.

But it was cool. All good. Proton was just a customer. He just wanted, and was mingling where the cookies and poffins were sorted. That's all.