[He gestures to Ishimaru, inviting him to sit, and raises his own controller to indicate buttons.] This is shoot, this is secondary weapon, jump, crouch, change weapon, throw a grenade... I'll give you a couple minutes to get used to the controls.

[A quick fiddling of game menus and the split-screen shows a multiplayer arena.]

The objective here is easy; kill me more times than I kill you.