Bird Studies. Lecture One.

[gentlebird]

Who: Crow & all you other people who are obviously not awesome birds.
What: Bird Studies: Why We’re Awesome.

Lecture One.
Topic: Introduction. Stark and Arcadia.

Where: That one courtyard. (y’all better sit yo asses on the grasses)
When: right now Late-Morning/Afternoon

If you’ve gathered yourself in the courtyard after an obnoxious posting in the journals recently— except no. You didn’t. Because Crow is shit with this machine and it didn’t even get posted. Maybe you just heard about it from a friend who heard it from Crow when he was chattering on about how amazing of a teacher he could be considering he was a bird and heard all sorts of stories from birds all over Arcadia and…

Well, this could only end badly. So if you actually showed up after hearing about it somehow, then you’ll see Crow perched on a bench eagerly awaiting the arrival of his students. (Who even told this bird he could be part of the faculty? No one, that’s who.)

“Okay, okay—Everyone settle down!”

But Crow, no one was even talking yet.

“I know humans have big brains and all but is there anyone who doesn’t know what a bird is? It’s me. I’m a bird. My name is Crow—“ Wait, hold your questions. “—I’m not actually a crow. My name is just Crow.” Because that has been a legitimate misunderstanding before already.

You can ask him questions now, or during, or after. But after whatever pre-lecture questions there are, he immediately deters from the last question into—

“Moving on!

First let me tell you about where I’m from. And I might've told some of you this already— just shaddap and listen anyway.

It’s called Arcadia. That’s like the parallel of this world, except we use magic and nature and stuff there. We call your world Stark, where technology and science are. And because of this thing called the Balance, we’re normally not allowed to cross over into either one just because we want to. But we know what goes on in Stark because some people do come cross over sometimes."

Pause for a momentary realization followed by a confusion of his own words...

"I… think it’s magic… or something…? I’m not really sure so don’t ask me about how they even do it... They just do... I guess...

So basically Stark is science and Arcadia is magic and it's all stuck together because of this sticky not-magic thing called the Balance.

Any questions on that?

Or on anything else actually...?”

Because he really doesn't know what he's supposed to be talking about anymore. Small bird memory and all.

Comments

[whirlwind_wolfman]

"....I've a question." Jon replied, sitting cross legged in the grass. "How much do you know about all the OTHER parallel worlds that exist outside of those two? And how do you know this is Stark, when so far as I'm aware, it actually exists well outside the bounds and confines generally associated with parallel realms?"

Sorry, Crow. He was one of THOSE sorts of students.

[gentlebird]

Oh, mister wolf. You've come to the wrong bird if you wanted to know about realities other than Stark and Arcadia.

"There aren't any other realities. Just Arcadia. And Stark. They used to be one realm a really long time ago but the Balance got all messed up somehow. When it split up it made Stark for technology and Arcadia for everything else."

...

"And I know this is Stark because it isn't Arcadia..."

[whirlwind_wolfman]

"But I come from a reality that is not here. It's something like this place in that it had technology, but it's a different time. And then you've got places like the Pokemon regions - they're a different world again. And there are others. I've been to roughly five of them. And one pocket dimension."

Jon crossed his arms. It seemed like this bird didn't know much about the existance of different realities, so, kind of odd he would chose to teach a class on it.

[gentlebird]

"..."

...this class is going to be about birds, snout face. get out.

"Right. Well. I don't know anything about Stark's other realities. I just know of... the two..."

Oh man. This is getting hawkward...

"...do you have any other questions? ...that aren't about that?"

[whirlwind_wolfman]

"Yes. I do. Loads."

He'll just. Leave it there.

[gentlebird]

What?

You can't just. Leave it there.

He's too curious now for you to just. Leave. It. There.

"...annnnnnnnd?" tell him your secrets wolf dog

[whirlwind_wolfman]

".....aaaannnnnd? What?"

Sorry, Crow. He absolutely IS this big of a dick in every single one of his classes so please don't feel singled out.

[gentlebird]

"...what... is one of your... questions?"

He can't decide if this dickery is entirely lost on his tiny mind or making him very uncomfortable.

I lied, here is the final edit, WOW

[forgetbeam]

All things considered, a talking bird isn't that strange here. Ishimaru will even accept that it's not animatronic. At least it's not a bear, right? He even accepts this talk of parallel worlds and realities, because it really explains a lot of what's happened to him here over the past several months. And he can't find any proof against it.

However, there's one thing he just can't sit back and let slide...

"Hold on! Nothing that you're saying is about birds at all!"

As fascinating as discussion about dimensions and realities and the nature of Final Destination City is, and as much as he needs questions about it answered, he knows what the class is called!

[gentlebird]

Oh, damn. He knew there was something he was forgetting!

"I was working up to that...!" Except no he wasn't.

Hurry, Crow. Cover your ass.

"I figured I would just introduce myself and where I came from before I got into the more complicated stuff. That's all!"

[forgetbeam]

...How was that not the more complicated stuff?! Nevertheless, if the teacher has a plan after all, it is definitely not Ishimaru's place to sass him.

"Ah... I am very sorry for interrupting, then...!"

OH NO what if he messed up already...

[gentlebird]

...it's a fucking awesomesad day when a small black bird establishes a dominance over someone much larger than him.

"That's okay." Play it cool, Crow. "I understand you must've been excited to learn about my species! So let's hop right to the basics!"

Play it.

Cool.

Crow.

"This—" He quickly flashes up a single wing. As faaaar out as he can stretch it before it starts to hurt. "—is a wing!"

[forgetbeam]

Wow, really...

Okay, no, that has to be just the set-up! Start with something amazingly basic, then break it down into the more complex parts! It's a brilliant tactic!

"Right! I am prepared to learn about all of the components that make up a wing!"

[gentlebird]

...waitwhAT?

BUT THAT WAS ALL HE HAD

OH GOD. NOW WHAT IS HE SUPPOSED TO SAY?

"Uhhh..." STARING AT HIS OWN WING. "Well......"

WHAT IS HE SUPPOSED TO EVEN SAY.


...


Okay, no. He can do this. HE. CAN DO. THIS.

"You see. These long feathers here—" Primaries. "—help birds turn through the drafts! And these smaller ones—" Secondaries. "—are like support for that wind beneath our wings thing! Well... if there is wind. If there's not then it's just a-lot-of-work beneath our wings. Those days kinda suck, actually."

nailed it

[forgetbeam]

Yes, Crow, nobody can notice that lack of professionalism.

...Apparently Ishimaru is buying it because he is taking notes like a diligent student and not piping up again. SAFE... for now.

(He'll come up with something strangely specific later, probably.)

[gentlebird]

[ Yes. Good. His plan is working perfectly. ]

So! There's this whole thing about aerodynamics—...

[ Okay, wait. Crow doesn't actually know anything about the physics of that, so... ]

Updrafts keep birds up and downdrafts keep... birds... working harder to stay up. Basically.

[ That was so sexy, Crow. ]

[will_be_god]

Cyrus was about to bring up that nothing this creature was saying was about birds, but Ishimaru had handled that before he had a chance.

That said, he had other questions.

As he spoke, Honchkrow, which was out of its ball and sunning itself on the grass, cawed to itself softly and eyed the far smaller teacher.

"My question concerns intellect. It has been noted that many species of bird possess the intelligence comparable to that of a five-year-old human, Chatot and similarly the parrot families among them. Do you believe there is a limit to comparable intelligence as testing becomes more sophisticated, or is it simply the delusion of humans and similar species to continue?"

[gentlebird]

......

[ Lots of big words you just used there. ]

Parrots are just show offs. They think they're soooooo funny because they can do impersonations of humans. And then the humans go all ga-ga for it like an easy crowd! I speak fluent human tongue and I don't get half the attention as a parrot does! It's so stupid!

I mean— Not all birds can do it though. So I guess I can see the talent. Most birds don't even bother talking to humans because they only fly in their own little flocks. They can get pretty limited that way too. And I like to talk to humans because they have a lot more to say! Maybe that's why parrots like the attention. Humans are just so interesting!

[ Crow, you're ranting. ]

Er— I think your question was are we smart, right? Then yes. We can be.


Sometimes.