smash_logs | Manly Battle! Furious Battle! Staple Battle!: A Joyous Envigorating of Bearded Challengers!

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Manly Battle! Furious Battle! Staple Battle!: A Joyous Envigorating of Bearded Challengers!

Who: Duster, Ganondorf, Spectators
What: An Sparre
Where: Smoooosh Academics Stadium
When: Thursday, November the Fourth, the Year of Our Lord Two-thousand-and-Ten
Warnings: Violence ~~And with Ganondorf around, probably nudity or something~~

So this was it. This was the stadium. Duster had no idea what he was doing here. He had heard there were sparring matches set up and he felt like signing up for one. He was worried that he might get rusty in this place. He really had no idea who he was supposed to fight. But he was given a time, so he showed up.

Duster looked at the arena. There didn't seem to be very much there... That's weird. Maybe somebody who knew how to set things up would come along to help him out.

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"GOOOOOOOOOO GANONDORF!" Knuckles called from the stands. There was no way in the world he was going to miss this. He hadn't seen Ganondorf fight for a long, long time and truth be told? He kinda missed it!

He liked Duster well enough. Or had, when Duster was his room mate. But he wasn't sure if this Duster remembered that or not. Because apparently this Duster might be from another time. Or something.

Weird.

Anyway. "YOU CAN DO IT, BRA!"

Re: This is a thread for Spectators/Kuma-fangirling

oso-tigre.livejournal.com - 2010-11-09 06:46 (UTC) - Expand

~~Ganondorf rode in on top of a magnificent steed.~~

Here is Ganondorf. He is here to fight you Duster.

It was amazing how just a few years ago, Ganondorf was the one who was confused, standing at that terminal, not understanding all this useless technology. The Gerudo King walked in, dressed in a dark black armor, branding a sword on his back. Hopefully his opponent wouldn't get cut...too much anyway.

So this Duster fellow. You know having access to the student files meant Ganondorf probably knew more about him than Duster knew about him. He needed the fighting workout, in any case.

"You must be Duster."

Duster knew things about technology. Like how all of this electricity that powered this place came from electric fish, and that the insides of a flying limousine is less enjoyable than one might originally think.

Anyway, Duster had no idea what these 'files' were so he really knew nothing at all about this Ganondorf other than, in the back of his mind, he was pretty sure that Nabooru lady might have said something about him once. He was wearing armor, huh. Well, he'd fought suits of armor before, this would be like that. Yes. Exactly.

"Yes, I am. And you must be Ganondorf," he held his hand out to shake his opponent's hand - they weren't enemies after all ~~probably~~. "I've never done this before here, is there any particular way that we start?"

He took the hand and shook it ~~better to imprint a curse~~. Civility he could do.

"So you've never had a spar before? This is going to be...interesting."

Was that lightning that cracked in the back? Probably not. Nope. That would be just an illusion. Yeap.

"Yes, first we should give our war speeches to our lovely maidens," he joked, expecting Duster to find the very idea silly.

His sort-of-girlfriend makes lightning happen. This is not a surprising thing to Duster. Just a little unexpected. Like that time he had to fight tiny double-A batteries. With faces. And arms and legs. Only you aren't a double-A battery. ANYWAY.

Oh no! Some sort of a speech? He didn't know about this and hadn't prepared anything.

"I haven't prepared anything and I don't even know what we're supposed to say. You'd better go first so I have time to think of something."

Duster is assuming you're telling the truth. Why wouldn't you be telling the truth?

"..."

Wow, this guy was a dumb sack of bricks wasn't he? Maybe this battle would be interesting at all.

'It was a jest, nothing more."

"Oh," said Duster. "Like I said, I've never done this before. Sorry, I'm sure I'll get your jokes once I've come to know you better."

There was another little pause. "So how do we start, then?"

"...right."

Duster, Ganondorf didn't care who you were, where you came from or even if you attended his classes. All he saw right now was a backyard human who had a limp and somehow Meta Knight had thought it was a good draw. Pitiful. Pathetic.

There was only one way to deal with this. And perhaps it was to give this poor little man the beating of a lifetime. One-sided fights were usually a bore, but he could use the workout that morning.

"I'll select a stage. You just...stand over there and wait for the countdown to start." With that order, he turned around and moved his massive frame to the stage selector.

Duster nodded and limped over to his side of the stage. He sort of wished that Boney was around so he could tell (somehow...) Duster what this guy was weak against.

Not that it really mattered, it's not like Duster used psychic moves anyway. Then again, there were a couple of bombs sitting around in his thief pouch ~~next to the cheese~~ next to the cheese.

He waved to Kumatora in the audience. It's probably cheating if she heals me in the middle of a fight....

Surely there were no rules against cheese, though.

Duster if Ganondorf knew you where cheating, he'd probably approve. You know, if he knew. His stage selection was somewhat predictable (http://super-smash-bros.wikia.com/wiki/Hyrule:_Temple), and the entire arena shifted to accommodate one of the larger stages available.

The Gerudo King stepped out as the countdown began.

"Don't disappoint me too much, kid," he warned.

"I'm 27," answered Duster, as the clock hit 0.

And then Duster wasn't there anymore.

Well that was disappointing.

Duster moved with blinding speed!

There is a really heavy, substantial, bright red shoe hitting your face as Duster has (somehow) leaped up into the air in front of you from all the way across the stage to deliver a kick to the one part of you that isn't covered by armor.

Well fucking Great Sand Goddess, he hadn't been expecting that at all. Ganondorf's head was thrust forward by the kick to his beautiful hairdo and met with the ground unceremoniously, dragging for a few seconds. Normally he would be impressed but...

Great. Now you had to go and piss him off.

Where those columns shaking and being thrown off? Was Ganondorf grabbing one and throwing it at you? Very yes.

That was an angry, pissed-off toss of a column, thankfully. Which meant it had a lot of passion behind it and not terribly much aim. Duster ducked down to the ground as the column sailed over his head.

He pulled a smoke bomb out of his toolkit and lobbed it at Ganondorf as he crouched down.

The name of this game was "Don't. Get. Hit."

And with any luck, that smoke bomb was going to help him out with that.

Ganondorf groaned at letting his own anger overtake his better judgment. How utterly careless...but he was Gerudo, and an excellent fighter. Smoke Bomb aside, he used it to his ow advantage, hoping that Duster had not moved as he hovered above the ground through the clouds.

As the smoke cleared, Duster might have looked up and seen a man jumping towards him, a pair of swords outstretched in his hands.

Darn, he didn't appear to be crying. The smoke bomb hadn't worked. And now the guy had some swords. And was diving for Duster. So Duster did the only thing that he could think of.

He tossed himself back on his hands and then sprang up towards Ganondorf, to meet the swords with the soles of his shoes.

Surprisingly, his feet didn't get cut into tiny pieces as Ganondorf was expecting, but the clang sent one of his swords scattering. Were those soles made of metal, it was this man more than he first let on? Perhaps that limp was a trick, like those smoke bombs.

"Impressive," he stated simply. "But it will take more than that to defeat the King of the Gerudo Thieves." He toss off his cape. Shit was gonna get serious now.

Duster didn't have time for witty banter, but he knew exactly what it would take to win this battle.

Wall staples.

One hundred million wall staples.

From... somewhere? His pouch? Duster pulled staples that were clearly far too large to fit anywhere on his person out from behind him and threw them at Ganondorf. Duster could pin a ghost to the wall, he could surely pin this abnormally muscular guy.

"What in the Sand Goddess' Holy Na-" violently, his left hand was hurled to a nearby wall and he tried to move it, finding it locked there by a gigantic piece of metal. He tried to move forward his other arm, but, it too, found itself touching the wall.

In fact Ganondorf's entire body suddenly felt like he couldn't move.

He'd never felt like that before. At least, not for a long time during his childhood and...not something he wanted to think about now (magic lessons were a bitch, okay). He grunted and tried to struggle out of it, before glaring daggers at Duster. Well, if you really wanted to piss him off to the point where he was gonna snap, you were getting awfully close there. Just a little bit more and...

Duster had him right where he wanted him. Sort of. Well, alright, pinned to the wall backwards would have been better, but he was saving his siren beetle for an emergency. Anyway, unless his opponent could see him, wearing a scary mask was never going to work.

He dipped into his thief pouch again and pulled out a mask and a stick with a feather on it. Duster put the mask on his face and then moved with blinding speed again, so that he appeared suddenly right in front of Ganondorf in an attempt to scare him and... somehow that would make Ganondorf weaker. He also took the opportunity to try and tickle Ganondorf with his feather to try and make him laugh so he would... be more susceptible to Duster's kicks.

This was sort of a weird moment.

This was more than ridiculous. This was beyond embarrassing. Ganondorf had seen creatures that were way more menacing that this pathetic attempt to try and scare him, but even the Gerudo king had tickling weaknesses.

"Ha..ha...ha oh you miserable little pathetic piece of..."

Well...his arms weren't free right now.

But his head was.

With all the power he could muster, he threw down his weight, lavishly hairdo and all, into a raged-induced headbutt.

Oh there we went. Evidently that scary mask hadn't worked out too well because Duster got a face full of Ganondorf's head. And it hurt.

Duster was knocked back away from the be-wall-stapled assailant, and tumbled backwards. He felt his hawkishly large nose to make sure it wasn't bleeding or broken. No. It wasn't. Probably.
He shouldn't waste his time; those staples weren't going to hold Ganondorf much longer (they sadly never did last long).

He sprang back up at him, aiming to drive his foot into the face that had just defaced his own face.

Just in time for Ganondorf to break out of the staples. Time seemed to slow down, as they flew in all directions, and he used his own hand to stop Duster's foot.

But he wasn't quick enough. The effort was commendable, but Duster's blinding speed won out and Ganondorf was flung to the side from the blow. He got up again, blood trickling down his left eyebrow and he then cracked his neck to adjust it.

"I tired of this."

Without warning he took to the skies, flying off in a direction where Duster couldn't attack him.

And then he fired a gigantic call of fire towards him.

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Manly Battle! Furious Battle! Staple Battle!: A Joyous Envigorating of Bearded Challengers!

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