smash_logs | Om nom nom. Strengthening bonds over bountiful meals!

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Om nom nom. Strengthening bonds over bountiful meals!

Who: One Bulbasaur and one Max.
What: Bulbasaur and Max have gay times. Yeah.
When: UH. THE 6TH.
Where: Delicious buffet location in FDC
Rating: Good old GPGPG.

It had been established that Max was always hungry, for he was a very large boy and needed a lot of food to keep all those muscles going.

It had also been established that Bulbasaur was hungry, and hot damn that almost never happened.

Clearly this meant that a trip for food was in order, because this sort of opportunity came once in a blue moon (not that they were going there) and it had to be taken advantage of in a quick and orderly manner. Or as orderly as going to an all you can eat buffet could be.

Our heroes wasted no time! They were already there!

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The poor girl at the counter, when she saw Max, about fainted. Normally the $12.99 per person price made a tidy profit. She had a feeling, one of those feelings that came along very rarely, that in this instance, they were going to come away with a net loss.

She had almost considered trying to charge him some sort of extra fee that she was going to make up on the spot, but in addition to seeming impossibly large he also seemed a little intimidating so she thought against it.

Max had gone up for a plate. And then a second plate. And then a third plate. He needed one plate for vegetables, and one plate for proteins, and a third plate for carbs. He would most likely go back two or three times to refill them all.

He was going to more than make up for Bulba probably only eating a single plate of food.

"Thanks for comin' to lunch with me," said Max, through a haze of chicken breasts, steak, rice, steamed vegetables, and glasses of milk (so many glasses of milk).

Beyond the plates... The whole table was, more less, completely covered in glasses of milk. A more uninformed person would have doubted that any one person really needed all of those glasses of milk. Luckily, Bulbasaur considered himself to be In the Know, so to speak. He was definitely going to need all of those glasses of milk.

Bulbasaur grinned around a mouth full of salad (which he had picked after the standard few solemn moments of contemplation). He waited until his mouth was in the clear before speaking, not that it seemed like Max would really care about a few glimpses of massacred spinach. The chicken breasts. They were gone. "I think it should be the other way around ba. So thanks for coming with me!"

The steak was vanishing before his eyes.

"Just so you know," said Max through one of the last bites of steak, "it's sorta weird watchin' you eat salad."

Bulba looked down at his plate and said a knowing sounding, "Yeaaaaah I guess so." Bulbasaurs were omnivores but... Yeah. Yeah it was kind of a little weird.

Oh well in went another mouthful of lettuce and sunflower seeds and veggies.

Max was, at this point, shoveling rice down his gullet like eating rice was going out of style.

"Ghagrrghaargh," he said, rice flying everywhere.

He somehow managed to duck and dodge most of the rice. Somehow. It was very impressive except sort of not impressive at all.

"Nmmmumnmmmnumm," he said in return as he nommed on part of an orange. And then the rind. And then he paused before picking up another section. "Is everything okay with everything ba?"

"Uh. Well. Not really, there was an attack on Orange Star last week, I can't really talk much about it. Nobody got killed or nothin' and this sorta thing really isn't my strong suit, so I'm back here, not helpin' out," he replied, between drinking glasses of milk.

"Oh. That... sucks." Bulba frowned and nommed on his other orange section. That certainly explained Max's entries then. "Uh. I hope it gets sorted out bul."

"Yeah," Max answered back. "I hope so, too."

Max looked down. Oh no! All his food was gone. "I'm goin' up for seconds, be back in a minute."

He hulked off over to the buffet line, where the people whose job it was to keep it stalked wept impotently.

Bulba tried to send those poor souls the very best of good vibes, but it didn't seem to be working out. One was weeping openly into a handkerchief. Alas there was nothing he could do to ease their souls, so he went back to poking at his lunch. As he poked it he pondered a ponder that he had been pondering for a while.

Max came back with a plate, then he went back and came back with another plate and then he did it one more time for good measure, and he had three plates of food again. "Outta milk," added Max, who went up to get six more glasses of skim milk to drink. This took another three trips (if only he were a Machamp, this all would have been done so much quicker).

So, finally, he sat down and started eating and drinking and eating again.

Bulba had taken the moment to go and get himself an apple. So now he sat there, turning the very shiny apple in his hands while Max inhaled another very full plate of food.

"Hey Max, can I ask you something?"

Max looked up through his haze of foodstuffs. "Yeah sure, Bulba, what'd you wanna ask?"

Wow this was always kind of an awkward question, wasn't it? But it wasn't so hard now that he had two greenlights behind him on the matter.

So Bulba just shrugged a little. "Would you think it was weird if a guy you knew liked other guys?"

"Why would that be weird? I like all sorts of guys. I like you and Andy and Jake and Knuckles and Char, there ain't nothin' weird about that," Max said, turning away, for a moment, from inhaling several steaks.

Bulba laughed. "No I mean like... Guys liking guys like guys like girls." Goodbye steaks.

Max paused. Huh.

Huh.

"Guys who like guys like guys like girls," repeated Max. "Well, there ain't nothin' wrong with it, guys do all sorts of things when they get lonely durin' war."

That caused Bulba to get a very funny look. "But I'm not in a war!"

"Well, yeah," said Max, not getting it. "You're not in a war."

Anything? No? Well okay. Bulba just let it out.

"Max, I'm gay."

Wha. Uh. Whaaaaaaaaaaaa.

"You're gay?" Max asked in a voice that was probably not considered an Inside Voice.

Bulba did a good job of NOT sinking under the table, despite the fact that he could feel the eyes of at least half the restaurant turning to look at their table. He absently rubbed at a yellow spot on his apple.

"Yeah."

"Well, alright," Max said, now using his inside voice. "Just kinda came outta left field. Just. You know. I would have figured you'd tell me this when I was runnin' around in your body and all and not two or three months after."

"I had sort of only just figured it out then," Bulba admitted a bit sheepishly. "I didn't tell anyone until a while after that... Besides you its just Mr. Falcon and Green." And half the restaurant, he refrained from adding.

"Oh," said Max. "It wasn't bein' in my body that made you realize it, was it? You didn't get a weird request from some strange guy askin' you for a private flexing session, did you? And you thought 'Wow that sounds really interesting I think I will' and then, you know, you realized... stuff."

Evidently this was a thing that happens (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Muscle_worship) to Max sometimes.

"No. No I'm pretty sure that never happened. Ever." Bulba looked a couple degrees of alarmed. "That's kind of super weird, Max."

"Oh, well. I don't do it. I don't need the money. But some guys do. It's really weird, yeah. Sometimes I'd just get people on the street askin' if I'd do it... I guess I should've told you about that so you'd know to say no." Thanks for making an awkward situation already more awkward, Max.

"Maybe." This conversation had taken a very weird turn. "I'm pretty sure I would have told them no anyway ba," Bulba mused as he took a bite of his apple. He wasn't doing it anyway, but Bulba mentally made another note to maybe not strive for Max's level of muscle building success.

"So yeah, anyway," said Max. "So, you like guys."

There we are Max, try and take it back to less disturbing ground.

Rolling back to the previous conversation was definitely appreciated. He nodded. "Yeah. I just thought I'd ask since you're my friend and it's.. a bit important. To me at least." And because Max reminded him so much of Blastoise, but that almost felt a little embarrassing to admit.

"Well, alright, I'm glad you told me. You said you ain't even told Char or Nyx yet? But you told me before them? And Captain Falcon?" Max was having difficulties wrapping his brain around why 1. Him before Teammates and 2. Why Falcon, as Max didn't think Bulba was terribly close to Captain McNipplebuttons.

Another nod. A lot of this conversation was nodding. "Coach really... kind of reminds me of Green in some ways," Bulbasaur admitted. Maybe Max would get the implication.

He made a lackluster jab at the remainder of salad on his plate, growing a bit quiet. "I was really scared of just rushing in and telling everyone. I don't want them to be disappointed or anything, you know?"

He sighed. "So I guess I'm thinking that if other people aren't weirded out, then there's a good chance that they won't be either. Green wasn't but... I don't know how to tell Char about it ba."

Max looked at Bulba, still not getting it. Let's be truthful here -- Green was nowhere near the shape Falcon was in. Aside from the brown hair Max just couldn't see the similarities.

And unless you just come right out and say it Max will never get any implications.

"You want me to tell Char for you?" Max asked, grabbing the totally wrong implications by the horns. "I'll do it if you want, tell him I'll knock him around silly if he says anything."

Maybe in a far off day. Bulba had hopes.

And oh hey that almost sounded like a grea-- "Nnnnoooo that's okay," Bulbasaur said. "I appreciate the thought, but this is something I should probably tell him bul."

"Well, alright, yeah I can see that. Do you want me to be around when you tell him? For backup support?"

See Bulba your first mistake was in telling Max anything important. Because now he's going to feel the need to act on it.

He thought about that. Green had offered too, before he took off for Sinnoh. Bulba had to admit that these offers were pretty tempting.

"Hmm... Maybe. Then again.." He sighed again. "I don't know. I'll certainly keep it in mind though ba."

BUT. There was a smile. "Thanks, Max."

"Don't worry, I've got your back," said Max. "You got nothin' to worry about anyway, it'll be fine, just 'cause you like dudes instead of girls Char ain't gonna flip out or nothin'. He's a good guy."

"Yeah. He is a good guy," Bulba agreed. He believed that. But even if he believe that, Char not flipping out wasn't quite something he believed in yet, but it was certainly a nice thing to hope for. Honestly he just had no idea how the fire type would react, and that was probably what was worrying Bulba most. You thought you knew a guy, but then you find out you didn't really know all that much about him. That sort of thing made you question whether you really knew him or not.

But it was comforting to know that Max had his back.

He was going to say thank you again but he had just done that. Bulba pointed at the dessert table instead. "Would you like a little bit of cake or something ba?"

"What, cake? Nah, empty calories. I'll just get more chicken and fish and veggies and stuff," said Max. "You can get some cake if you want it, though," he added, as he got up and went over to where the regular food was, the servers once again weeping and holding each other.

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Om nom nom. Strengthening bonds over bountiful meals!

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