Sergeant Max's Learning Humans Club Band Club; or, How I Learned To Stop Worrying and Love this Bod

[tank_rockarms]

Who: Max and Friends
What: Max tries to run a club about how to be a human
Where: The Gymnasium
When: Monday May 13th at 2pm
Warnings: Somebody will probably end up asking about how the plumbing works or why robots don't need to use the toilet or Max will end up showing everyone the best form for taking a shower or something.

Max had put up signs (he had made them himself with markers and poster board) and thought that they looked pretty great. They were, at least, legible. And they announced that there would be a meeting in the gymnasium for his learning how to be a human club idea. He didn't know where to hold the club, just yet. Not for permanent. But Max was most comfortable when near large weights or in a tank. And the gym was close to the weight room. And also the changing rooms, in case they needed to have a field trip on shower usage. Or toilet etiquette. Or something.

Anyway, it was in the gym. And people were going to come. He hoped. And he would be there to Instruct Them In The Ways Of Life.

((OOC: Once this gets rolling, I'll see about a Field Trip or some sort of Stupid Activity after Max has fielded a few questions))

Comments

Attendance

[tank_rockarms]

Hey, bro, if you're here, this is where you make it clear that you're here.

Re: Attendance

[monotreme_101]

Knuckles was here. He'd been pretty busy as of late but he definitely wanted to make time for this. He'd already come to terms with his own transformation a long time ago, so, he figured he might be helpful to have around if Max found himself stuck.

Re: Attendance

[tank_rockarms]

Oh, Knuckles was here. As a human. Which was pretty rare for Knuckles, who was usually more comfortable being a 3-foot-tall echidnaman.

Max waved at Knuckles.

[dachopunk]

Dachora was here, just like she said she would be!

[tank_rockarms]

The kid with the hat was here.

Max nodded. "What's your name?" he asked. He had a list. He was checking it twice seeing who was coming.

[generallyfussy]

And so was General Guy!

[tank_rockarms]

Max had no idea who this guy was other than remembering that he used to be Char's roommate awhile back.

Max nodded and asked him "What's your name?" assuming that he was a student.

[obfuskate]

Shadow might be just

here

in the back of the gymnasium

side-eyeing everything.

Yes.

He's calling your too-cool-for-others-loner lonerism out

[tank_rockarms]

Oh it's that guy

in the back of the gymnasium

looking at things like he was a cool guy

and not wanting to be a part of the group.

"Hey," said Max, looking at the guy in the back, "You can come on up where the rest of us are if you want."

[monotreme_101]

"Hey Shadow. It's me - Knuckles."

Because honestly? He couldn't remember if he'd ever shown the Hedgehog his Human form before.

Re: Attendance

[whirlwind_wolfman]

Similarly to Shadow, there was another Creeper McCreeperson the Third creepin' around in the back out of sheer curiosity more than a desire to be helpful. So this Atypical, Alpine of a Human Being was going to try and teach Monsters how it was done? There was no way this was going to go well.

MAX DOESN'T GO FOR CREEPING AROUND JON you should know this by now

[tank_rockarms]

Everything was going to go great. Max was super good at lots of things. Most of the involved moving heavy objects, but he was probably super good at this, too.

Max nodded at the footsballs player and weightlift guy in the back. "Jon, you wanna come up with the rest of the guys here?" he said, pointing to the rest of the guys here.

[rivalcurse]

Oh, look who's here. She's pretty used to this body, and she guesses she could field a couple questions... But mostly, Nyx is here to see how he screws it up. That just seems so much more interesting.

[tank_rockarms]

Oh look, it's Nyx. Who is awake at 2pm.

"Hey," said Max. "Don't usually see you up this early."

[other_i]

Well, Alter Ego's here, as promised. It goes without saying that the AI wanted to learn as much as possible, and this would be a good place to start.

[tank_rockarms]

Oh no, it's some sort of kawaii girl. Was Max going to have to answer lady-type questions? Well, he was the one who put himself into this situation. He'd just have to do his best.

"Hey, what's your name?"

MAN SHE'S GONNA MEET ALL THE BIG BUFF GUYS.

[idowhatilike]

Ah, the gymnasium. If there's one place you won't catch her dead, it's here. Or if you caught her here dead, it's probably because she died from just doing something here. Talk about the laziest Pokemon that doesn't have a genetic predisposition to laziness ever.

The woman that wanders into the room looks pretty dang human, however. From the top of her head to the tip of her toes, the most that might stick out is her two-toned hair, but that doesn't say much. She stands a little closer to the back, but she's still within ear shot and isn't exactly attempting to hide. Having human speech to communicate with certainly would make this class easier on the instructor, albeit tempting to screw around with him. Never having attended a class and never planning to make a habit of it, she speaks up.

"Is there some type of sign-in sheet that's required?"

WELL THIS IS THE BUFFEST GUY AT SCHOOL, SO EVERYTHING FROM HERE ON OUT IS JUST DENOUEMENT

[tank_rockarms]

Max looked up at the lady with hair in two colors. Both of them seemed like perfectly normal shades of color to have in one's hair, unlike Max's unnatural locks, and so he takes it in STRIDE.

"I'm just writin' down names of people when they come in," said Max. "That way I get to learn names and faces better. What's yours?"

Take my tiny troublemaker, too.

[hellofriend]

Ishimaru had long confirmed that Vivian was allowed out and about, and since she had gone about her business and made sure that everyone was covered, she wanted to see what the gathering was. All she understood from the signs was it was about humans, something she had seemingly decided was what she would protect as well as equally eliminate, should it fall within protocol.

When Ms. GLaDOS was alive, she would often try to teach Vivian what she needed to do in this new body, and though she was gone, Ishimaru had been trying to do the same. Maybe this class would help her, but all the people made her a little uneasy. Was she allowed to attend classes? No one had told her to, not really.

She peeks in quietly, oh so curious.

Re: Attendance

[voltecpower]

Pulse was there... at least in body. He glanced around the room and occasionally acknowledged another person's presence or greeting, smiling for a moment and nodding respectfully, but his expression betrayed his troubled mind, which was apparently fixed on something else.

This short fellow in a strange getup ultimately found Max and approached him.

"Sir, I'm here for the, um, club?"

[paletteknife]

There was a completely normal human child here just to show her support. Yep.

Questions/Comments

[tank_rockarms]

This is where you post your questions about embarrassing bodily functions.

[other_i]

NO ALTER EGO TOTALLY HAS A QUESTION, HELLO, SOMEONE LITTLE OVER HERE IS RAISING HIS HAND! He was just probably so little and 4'10" that he went unnoticed.

"I have a question," he blurted in a soft voice, trying to get Max's attention. "It's about sleeping."

If anybody was staring, Alter Ego didn't notice. Well, it wasn't too weird of a topic, was it...?

EVERYBODY GETS FREE STUFF + LAUNDRY

[tank_rockarms]

As there were no questions, Max proceeded on with his beautiful life.

"Alright, I'm glad everybody could make it who wanted to make it. The reason why I started this up was I met a guy who didn't know how to take a shower or brush his teeth or how to wash his clothes. None of it's his fault, he never had to do none of that before. But, I figured that maybe there's somebody else out there who needs help figurin' stuff out. So, I decided to keep it simple. I got everybody a, uh... toiletry bag. Everybody probably knows how to use this stuff already, but you can always use some new stuff. I mean, I go through about a stick of deodorant a week, myself. Always need more of that stuff." He pointed to a table with toiletry bags on it. Yay, stuff!

Max coughed discreetly. "If anybody wants a lesson on how to shave your face or somethin', I can show you after class. Anyway, that's just the first thing. The second thing is I thought maybe learnin' how to do the laundry would be good. So, I got towels from the weight room and the pool and football jerseys and PE clothes that need washed. Unless somebody else has a better suggestion, I thought we could try learnin' how to do the laundry. There's a laundry area underneath the gym for this stuff because that makes sense to Chris so he's going with it so we can move down there. I got laundry detergent and that stuff in bottles you spray on stains and fabric softener and everything all ready downstairs."

"I got laundry bags for everybody, too."

Humans apparently come in contact with dirt a lot. Huh.

[voltecpower]

Pulse stood listening to the whole thing. He had a feeling that Max didn't really know what he was talking about half the time, but he obviously meant well, so Pulse tried not to let it bother him. He personally had no need for a toiletry bag (even though it was interesting how all the little things fit inside it) and he still had yet to grow any hair on his face for him to need a shaving lesson, but the idea of doing laundry intrigued him.

He had never actually watched a human clean their clothes. But then, it rarely occurred to him that clothes could get dirty, since he lived in a place where dirt didn't exist. Many of his friends from when he was younger must have relied on their parents of guardians to do their laundry, since they never did any of it on their own.

He raised his hand.

"Sir... I would like to learn how to do the laundry."