First Aid is so Dope

[gentlesaint]

Who: Rhys, students, and onlookers if applicable
What: Class! ...with an unfortunate twist.
Where Health classroom
When Thursday, May 2nd
Ratings: A teacher under the influence.

The last half of the school year was a turbulent one for Rhys's attendance. Ever since January, he'd either be listless, in mortifying pain that prompted him to dismiss class early, absent altogether (which happened for a good chunk of February), or, especially lately, subject to serious mood swings or odd, almost frantic behavior. It was like he was trying to hide something or had somewhere he needed to be, and pronto. This was a sharp contrast to his usual placidly cheerful personality, which was much more patient and dedicated to his job than this version of Rhys, which just kept getting progressively worse every week. Sometimes, he wouldn't show up at all at the scheduled time.

This week, it finally culminated into something horrendous.

Before class, he scrambled through a last-minute rush to assemble his review unit. He'd indulged in another one of those insidious black pops, the kind that was rapidly starting to engulf his life. During his high, he had an epiphany that he needed to compile his unit plans before class started, which he'd neglected to do earlier during his agonizing low period. Riding on this burst of energy and good feeling, he worked on his presentation without delay, but through some wicked stoner goggles.

All this hard work in such a small time frame perhaps explained why he hobbled into class five minutes late. He made his way over to the front of the class on unsteady feet. There was an unnatural sereneness about him, like he'd stepped out from a meditative trance with Nirvana.

“My... You sure are a lively crowd today, aren't you?” he marveled, despite observational evidence to the contrary. “That's good. But you need to settle down maybe. I'm gonna show you a video... a presentation. I made it myself. I really felt like I was one with the computer today, you know. A connection, and I'm not talking the internet kind!”

Without fail, someone groaned.

Rhys, however, laughed at his clever remark, then proceeded to fiddle with the projector. He damn near broke the thing.

((OOC: I will slowly be updating the threads with more of Rhys's "special" presentation slides! So if it looks unfinished, it is because I am going to trickle them in installment by installment. Feel free to respond to them!))

Comments

Attendance!

[gentlesaint]

[Show up for class!]

[cruelcurse]

[ Henry is totally here for class, hello. He's gonna love class today. I can already tell. ]

[testsubject1]

[Chell is here. Sitting in the back.]

[dontgetcarter]

[Congratulations, Rhys, you are Carter's first impression of classes at Smash Academy. She's just going to spend most of this class in stunned silence.]

[planetcrusher]

[W e l p let's just say that by the end of this, Health will be Makoto's favorite class.]

Re: Attendance!

[forgetbeam]

[Oh... nnnooooo...

Don't worry Rhys at least SOMEONE totally gets you on the whole connecting with your computer thing
wait
shit]

[xxii]

[Minako is on a quest. A quest to try out every single class offered at the Academy in order to know what to take next semester, considering how late she arrived in the school year.

She is here, and she is ready to learn.]

Re: Attendance!

[busstopsign]

[Shinjiro is only here because Minako is here and she insisted that he come because Health Class. Siiiiiigh.]

Re: Attendance!

[servingmiwafyh]

[Kaz actually made it before the teacher? This deserves her a trophy!]

[stay_classy_cat]

[WHY HELLO]

[dachopunk]

[Wow, Dachora is sure gonna learn a lot today.]

Re: Attendance!

[will_be_god]

(Of course, Cyrus wasn't a student at all, but he felt the need to check in on Rhys)

Slide One

[sicklypriest]

Once he (finally) managed to get the PowerPoint on screen, likely with a little help, Rhys began his presentation. Brace yourselves. It's gonna sting a little.



Smoothing down his shirt, he folded his hands neatly and smiled at the class. "This is my intro.. introduction. And today I'm teach you all about what to do when you do the first aid. It can be our little secret, see, that's what that means." He gestured to the furtive bandaid on screen.

Re: Slide One

[servingmiwafyh]

....

[Seriously, the only thing that could make this worse was comic sans. kudos to the prof for not going that far...]

[stay_classy_cat]

Seth sat there with a sweet smile, hands folded politely over his desk. But on the inside he laughed.

Slide Two

[sicklypriest]

"Oh no is right! What should we do if Mr. Clip Art is lying down and not up? It's scary, I know." He begins to look worried. "Oh dear. Maybe I should have made this slide less graphic..."

He glances around the room fretfully, hoping no one is upset by the gruesome images of the same person copied twice splayed out before them.

"But maybe this is the type of preparation you need... When a person is unconscious, you need to conquer your fear!" He thrust a determined fist into the air, inspiration sparkling in his bloodshot eyes. "You will save their lives."

Forgetting that he had more to say on the matter of delivering rescue breaths, he continues on to the next slide.

Re: Slide Two

[servingmiwafyh]

[Kaz took a moment to look around the classroom and see if all her classmates have collapsed on the floor from looking at this hideous slide. At least it would have been a worthwhile demonstration!]

Slide Three

[gentlesaint]

"Umm..." He squints at the slide, trying to discern what in the world he typed up there. One word caught his eye.

"Oh! Breathing! That's so important. Think about it. One or two puffs of air exchanged in the space between one person's mouth to the next... The kiss? Of life. There's so much life force living inside our breaths. I can't think of anything more inspirational than breathing to make someone breathe..."

He stood there in charmed silence.

"Very good. Moving on."

[stay_classy_cat]

And laughed (thankful he did not need to breathe to continue his ugly mental laughing train unimpeded).

Slide Four

[gentlesaint]

"And like breathing, not choking is important to health too. Have you ever choked? Well, one time Shinon was munching on candy but he did it wrong and so I had to sneak up behind him and push it out. You have to be careful though, both of squeezing too hard and not getting punched by the choking victim. It can hurt you but luckily you can apply first aid to you too! Like ice. Some victims are more fidgety than others let me tell you."

He takes a deep breath, like he was tiring himself out, and looks at the class serenely, teetering a little as he switches the slide again.

Re: Slide Four

[servingmiwafyh]

[she raises a wing]

Banjo and I knew someone who swallowed a huge chunk of gold and we got it out by divebombing onto his gut with a sleigh. It worked just as well!

Slide Five

[sicklypriest]

"Except I don't think they can answer back..."

Re: Slide Five

[servingmiwafyh]

IS ANYONE IN THIS ROOM CHOKING?


good.

Slide Six

[gentlesaint]

"As you can see, many things can go wrong with people. It might be burning, or possibly drowning. You need to remove the water from the person and feel air on your cheek, and then you need to do the CPR I showed you if they're not breathing or pulsing."

It was clear that there was too much going on in his head for him to effectively communicate the lesson, much less form sensible sentences.

"Oh, and make sure help is on the way. But that goes for any emergency, really."

[stay_classy_cat]

And laughed.

Seventh Slide

[gentlesaint]

Posture gradually sinking into a halfhearted sag, he continues his lesson with even less energy powering his voice. "Please be wary of when you get poisoned... It's, well, it's sometimes in snakes, and... sometimes weapons poison, when the swordsman applies a deadly venom to the sharp end of the sword... You know, so he doesn't hold the poison in his hand... That would be senseless. You will... need to get an antidote and fast, or else a poison-dispelling spell. Sometimes snakes and other animals secrete nasty poison, too... I know it's tempting, but... don't try drinking it out of someone! It's poison for crying out loud."

[stay_classy_cat]

And laughed, especially at this slide.

Slide Eight

[gentlesaint]

He seems to stare straight ahead, like the classroom ceased to exist to him altogether. To the observant, he looks awfully pallid, like the color is leaving his face and lips completely, turning him blueish. Meanwhile, he has a hard time keeping himself from fidgeting with his hands.

"Many... traumatic events can happen in a battlefield. Including but, but not limited to... oh... I feel faint... M-maybe we'll just... go back to that slide. Sorry, there's so much blood in my mind all of a sudden."

He skips the slide in favor of another with the intention of returning to it. Even then he had trouble figuring out how to do it again at first despite managing well all the other times.

[stay_classy_cat]

And laughed.

Ninth Slide

[sicklypriest]

He stares at the colors before him. He doesn't even look back. He just drones.

"Questions..."

[forgetbeam]

He's been in stunned silence up until this point, but now that the floor is open for questions...

...He doesn't even know where to start. Maybe with the most obvious one.

"Are you alright?"

The answer's pretty obvious, but he wonders if Rhys himself knows something's definitely wrong.

Tenth Slide

[sicklypriest]

He fails to say anything. It's almost creepy, like his spirit slipped away and all that remains is a shell of a body.

[stay_classy_cat]

And laughed, as if he could spiritually point and laugh his ugly laugh at his poor, miserable, comatose soul.

Final Slide: What a Twist!

[sicklypriest]

Rhys's eyes roll to the back of his head, and he collapses right there on the spot.

...Welp.

Time to put those freshly-drilled CPR skills to the test, kids!

excuse icons atm

[xxii]

Oh my god, did the teacher just faint?! Oh gosh, oh man, Minako may have just had a lesson on CPR, but that wasn't where her mind went in response to a man down, especially in a place that was so open about magical powers and the like. Minako pulls what appears to be a gun out of her bag and quickly presses it against her temple, seemingly nonchalant about this action despite being obviously alarmed about the teacher. "Persona!"

Guys is this girl about to shoot herself in the head.