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Who: Phoenix Wright, anyone who happens to stumble by him
What: Phoenix eats a blue lollipops and has THE WORST TRIP OF LIFE: the movie
When: July 16th, 2012, during the day
Where: In the hall, outside, WHEREVER HE HAPPENS TO RUN OFF TO....
Warning: Don't do drugs, kids.

A few days ago, Phoenix had purchased a blue lollipop from Ai. Now, while he figured these were ordinary lollipops, he was more than happy to help pay for something that made Ai very happy: swimming lessons. Seeing her face beam as she spoke of how excited she was to learn how to swim was more than enough to get him to support that.

So, he sucked on the lollipop as he sat down at a bench outside, reading a newspaper. It was a lovely day, but this lollipop didn't seem to have a discernible flavor. It basically tasted like pure sugar on a stick, with a hint of... something else. Weird. But whatever, he just continued sucking it anyway, pretty absentmindedly.

A short while after he finished the lollipop, things started to get strange. The words on the paper were no longer black, actually. They were orange. And they were... bleeding? Phoenix would have found this strange in ordinary circumstances, but this time it actually fascinated him. He reached out and touched the paper, finding the orange ink dripping onto his fingers. Whoa. Trippy.

When he looked away from the newspaper, the sky seemed to emanate a bright pink color, and he soaked in the atmosphere, entranced by the purple grass and the... mass of spiders... crawling on his feet at this moment.

Oh god. Oh god oh god.

Phoenix screamed as the spiders crawled up him, assaulting him, and he was trying to shake them off. Oh my god did the people not see these spiders and why weren't they helping him?!

Some time later, hordes of gavels with wings began flying after him, chasing him down across the courtyard, through the black grass. He would hide behind this tree, but oh god it had eyes. Why did the tree have eyes? It was glaring at him, sucking away his soul... Everything was turning horrible and he had to get out. He had to get out.

So eventually, he found himself in a fetal position, huddling next to a dumpster. Anyone passing by would probably wonder why he was acting so weird, why he was shivering and mumbling about the gavels.

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~~Warren watched from outside of his window and smiled.~~

If only those bugs were actually real... Sig would have been all over it.

Instead he was pursuing an insect he had found not too long ago, and had wandered into the dumpster area Phoenix was also in. For a moment he didn't realize that someone else was there and was about to dive in to the dumpster to chase whatever bug he was trying to catch. When he did, though, he paused for a moment and blankly looked over at the other. What was this guy huddling next to a dumpster? Did he like sitting next to dumpsters?

Sig dove into the dumpster to look for the insect.

Phoenix had thought he found a safe hiding place from the flying gavels and those eyes, and the spiders... But oh my god... Out from the box he hid behind came a monster. The man's flesh was oozing everywhere with eyes attached to various parts of his body. They certainly weren't on his head, which resembled a horrible faceless monstrosity.

The devil had come for him.

"No!" he cried, backing away, "No please! I don't want to die!"

Finally, he was able to scramble up and run away as far as his legs would take him, but the landscape was curving. He seemed to be melding into the sidewalk, becoming attached. Oh god the gates of Hell had opened for him! No! He couldn't die now! He couldn't go to Hell!

So, he screamed and squirmed, trying to free himself as he melted into the sidewalk, losing himself.

To a normal person, though, he was kneeling on the ground, squirming his upper body, screaming bloody murder.

And that scream got Sig to get distracted from trying to look for the insect. Normally, he might have continued to ignore the other, but that abnormal scream didn't sound right at all.

He looked over to the stranger and slowly crept over to him. It was rare for Sig to approach someone like this, normally there would be someone else who would take the time to approach strangers while he chased bugs around.

"...Are you okay." Sig asked in his monotonous voice. What was he supposed to do in this situation, anyways? Amitie would say the same things, but he wasn't exactly sure what else she would do.

Phoenix was still somehow merging with the sidewalk. Fortunately, the figure that came up to him was not the monster from before, at least not at this moment in time, and he was desperate for help. What he saw was at least close to what the guy looked like in a non-acid-induced state, but it was blurry. Space was distorting.

"Help! I'm melting! Help!" he cried.

The world around him was spinning as he melted into the sidewalk, though in reality he was on his side now, squirming around, clutching at anything his hands could grab.

"....." Sig wasn't sure what was going on with this guy. He wasn't melting like he was claiming. Sig scratched his head with his red left arm, not knowing what else to say.

"Melting?"

He was at a loss.

Why wasn't he helping him? Why wasn't this blue-haired wavy man rescuing him from melting into the sidewalk?! He was just standing there like a moron, repeating the word "Melting" over and over again. Was he part of this conspiracy? Was he making him melt?

"Help! Get me out of here!" he cried again, reaching a hand out to the boy.

Whether the boy was part of this plan to melt him or not, he had to try.

Out of where? Sig continued to be confused. Did this man needed help to get up from the ground? When the other reached out, Sig did not hesitate to reach back out...

... To give a handshake.

Phoenix, though, interpreted this handshake as a gesture to get him out of the melting of the sidewalk. He was successfully shaken out, tumbling over onto the nearby dark-colored grass.

As his face hit the grass, though, it smelled so appetizing. So delicious. He, himself was a cow, wasn't he? He should be eating grass... So, he started chomping on it.

Sig watched this strange man munching away at the grass, not having any sort of strong reaction to how random this guy was acting. First he was yelling around about melting, and then now he was eating grass? He has met some strange people back at home, but this was something else.

He scratched his head for a moment. Oh, right, he was looking for an insect! Time to go back to the search.

"Bug, where are you?" He asked as he walked away.

Well, what arrived to stand over him was probably not going to assist in calming his hallucinations whatsoever, but Phoenix would be chanced with the presence of a 3'3" blue hedgehog anyway.

Sonic had been keeping away from certain confrontations, mostly with the monster snarling inside of him to acquire more of what drove him to an unusualy plesant madness, but made for a series of errible misunderstandings, but also tore him away from his own spirit. He didn't like the weightless behavior he had felt, the absolute lack of control and the person he became. So he was running it off. He would sweat it out, and he has been for days now. When he happens upon Phoenix acting like a panicked chicken in a corner ~~Maybe with a green kid chasing him there, who knows~~, he can't help but stop and check it out. After all, anyone in need warranted Sonic's immediate attention

Sonic had a bad feeling about what he was witnessing, an eye narrowed at his behavior, but before jumping to any hasty conclusions, he needed more informtion. He took a careful approach, slow as his ticking legs could manage.

"Hey, bud, you okay there?"

Who.... Who even is that? It's all blue, so very very blue. Its eyes are monstrously huge, like Phoenix could stick his fist in it. As the blue thing spoke, though, the words came out so slowly, so dreadfully slow, so dreadfully deep.

What was he even saying? Phoenix couldn't process it. It was as if the voice of a dark god was speaking, trying to enter his soul. And it felt horrible. Pain was wracking through him as the thing spoke, and he clutched at himself, doubling over from the horror.

"St-stop!" he cried, quickly shoving his hands over his ears, "Stop hurting me!"

Someone woke up on the wrong side of the dumpster today.

"Woah! I'm...!"

As his hands hit his ears, however, Sonic shut his mouth right up tight. His eyebrows pinched together as he tried to come up with a way to communicate without scaring him or, presumably, hurting him.

What can I do, what can I do...

Tough call. Sonic had to believe this was related to his and Shadow's case, so he had to do something about it. The good guy's work is never done!

He held a hand out to Phoenix, a test to see if that would be too much for ~~this crazy hobo~~ him to handle.

Phoenix's pain eventually subsided, but then when the blue thing held out a hand for him, there was a knife, or some sort of impaling tool in it. Oh god. This thing was going to kill him!

"N-no! Stay back!"

He scrambled backwards, looking at the blue demon with the knife. It was standing there with a menacing grin, clearly intent on killing him. The same demon that could destroy his soul simply by speaking!

Everyone was out to kill him.

Sonic's arms flopped right back down to his sides, crossing that idea off his checklist for now. This left him between a rock and a hard place, or between a terrified lawyer and a dumpster. Whatever.

He couldn't leave him here, but he couldn't get him to come with. This guy didn't look like he could do too much damage if Sonic tried to grab him, either. He just had height and weight on his side. Sonic was kind of prickly.

"I'm tryin' to help," he whispered, then quickly exhaled. "Am I gonna have to drag you?" Maybe he could find someone in the school to help, but... "I'm just a hedgehog, y'know. Y'gotta try and clear your head, man!"
Not that Sonic did any better coming down off his high. He had found himself chewing on a rock when he finally had some lucidity to tell him that even if that rock was a Chaos Emerald? He shouldn't be eating it like candy.

The words "I'm a hedgehog" ran through Phoenix's brain over and over again as if played on a broken record. He heard nothing else from the blue thing, but then it dawned on him. Of course! The devil himself had come disguised as a hedgehog. That's why the blue thing looked nothing like a hedgehog! Yes, it all made perfect sense!

"No! You're no hedgehog!" he shouted, "Hedgehogs aren't...." He would have finished the sentence, but there were too many things wrong with the picture that he could not put into words. Words failed him at the moment, as there was nothing in the English vocabulary to describe the utter horror that befell him.

A blue devil looming over him, the sky swirling around in alternating colors of bright and blackness, like a vortex waiting to suck him in... This Academy was truly horrifying.

Sonic could only slap his forehead, digits dripping down his face to wipe the frustration off of it. If one must know, it didn't actually work.

With that, he approaches Phoenix with an air of caution, but swift arms and legs are an advantage when Sonic wants to get something done in a snap. He scoops the lawyer up as best he can for a man his size, the hold awkward, but nothing he hasn't accomplished before. He just hoped he wouldn't get hit. Too much.

"Sorry, buddy, but we're gonna have to go bridal for a minute! S'for your own good!"

Phoenix was going to die. He was absolutely sure of it. One hundred percent sure. This blue thing had reached ungodly speeds and was carrying him away, through a world that was tunneling in on him, colors and lights zooming by like cars on a highway.

He was screaming, screaming for his life. He squirmed and moved around as much as he could, kicking and punching everywhere. Phoenix had never felt this much terror before; not when Maya had been on the other side of a burning bridge, not when von Karma held up that taser and proceeded to violently injure himself and Maya, not even during all of those murder investigations when he had been at high risk of being killed himself.

But now, this was just utter horror. Every awful situation in his life had been crammed together into one, magnified by a million times.

"Oof! Ow! HEY! Quit--!"

CRIPES. Sonic nearly dropped him a number of times along the way, including almost barreling into a pole and probably killing them both.
Well... perhaps just him. Sonic's fallen from Space before and been okay. SIMMER DOWN, FEDEX, unless you want to perish at insane velocities. You were big and bulky, but you were still pretty squishy.

"Stop wigglin' or I'll DROP YA! Do you want that kind of road rash?!"

She was just getting ready to leave. She had barely made one leg over the seat of her bike. There was something to be said about the bounty hunter, even as cold as she could outwardly be--she had a very knee-jerk reaction to screams and cries for help.

Her boot scraped asphalt in her haste to kick the bike's stand down, and in a few seconds she sprinted across the parking lot towards the person in need.

For what little Samus knew of Phoenix, it didn't take more than a single glance to determine his current state was anything but ordinary. He was a well-composed man in her eyes, polite and careful of the impressions he made. He would, for example, never scream at terror at seemingly nothing. Her eyes followed his, and they showed her... nothing. Nothing but thin air. Was he seeing something she couldn't? A ghost? The nature of this academy made immediate assessments like this difficult... there was a faint possibility that might not of even been the real Phoenix.

"Phoenix?" But for all intents and purposes, she could only assume that. "Phoenix, what's wrong?"

Fortunately, Phoenix recognized Samus. She hadn't turned into a strange creature or object or some sort of devil yet. But her form was twisting slightly, wavy and blurry, and very, very bright.

Her hair was much longer than usual, though, and it seemed to grow out in tendrils of yellow, moving toward his legs, wrapping around them...

Phoenix sputtered in response, pointing at the vines of hair, trying to form words of exclamation. After sputtering several consonants, he finally was able to vocalize, "Y-your hair!"

Then he started to get paranoid again, thinking that she was among them, the unknown force that was out to destroy him. He was frightened stiff, thinking that her hair was preventing him from running.

"My... hair?" She softly parroted, incredulously and confused. On the worst of days her hair was a bit of a nuisance, but nothing more. He was pointing at something she again couldn't see, apparently where her hair was. Something was very wrong here. There was a nameless fear in his (dilated?) eyes and she could see it well.

She'd seen something just like it before, in fact...

"Phoenix, you have to calm down." She tried, keeping her voice as comforting as she could manage... which was poor, at best. Samus most often dealt with problems by putting a bullet through them, but there was no adversary to shoot here. ~~So she shot Phoenix the end.~~ Her ability to easily intimidate (drugs aside) was a double-bladed sword; often (and frustratingly) her very presence served to only further frighten whoever she was trying to help.

"Calm down, and tell me what you're seeing." But damn it if she wouldn't try.

He could barely process what Samus was saying, unfortunately. Her calm voice only served to heighten his paranoia, making him think that she was trying to capture him. Her words just came out as a slew of rhythmic syllables,

"Let me go!" he shouted, as he stumbled backwards, freeing himself from those yellow tendrils.

Everyone was going to hurt him. All the people here weren't even people. They were horrible aliens or zombies or some sort of otherworldly beings, out to drag him down. Samus wasn't Samus - it was an imposter, trying to deceive him.

"You're not real!" he cried, pointing his index finger ~~exactly like he would if he was shouting "OBJECTION!"~~ toward the imposter, before he tried to stumble away, breaking into a half-run. But he wasn't succeeding in running very far, because the world was swirling around, and he was so dizzy...

Well then. She stood there for a moment, not giving chase, silently evaluating if she should waste her efforts on a man no more than a co-worker. Co-worker or not, he was in an obviously dire state. He'd hurt himself eventually, this she was sure of as he could barely run on his own two feet.

Unfortunately, she had no idea how to fix him short of dragging him to her gunship--something she had to do for Falcon, and a privileged reserved only for Falcon and a select other few. She wasn't so eager to let the Political Science teacher know she was actually an ex-cop bounty hunter genetically-half-alien woman from space. Perhaps Rhys would be a suitable, more down-to-earth alternative instead...

With a bit a sigh, she finally gave chase and hunted after Phoenix--she kept her gait slow in hopes of not scaring him off, hoping it wouldn't do just the opposite.

"Phoenix, let's talk."

Clearly his running was not carrying him very far. Phoenix knew he was dizzy, but he also felt that some unknown force was preventing him from running far, probably that damned hair.

He didn't want to talk. He knew that it was just a ploy to capture him.

"No! Get away from me! Let me go!"

He tried to run more, but then he stumbled and fell flat on his face. Ouch.

She'd take advantage of that. Very swiftly, Samus descended upon his fallen form, planting one knee on the ground near the crook of his arm pit and the other gently pressed between his shoulder blades.

...Gently being a mutable term, since she was doing this with the intent to keep him down. If he resisted, she would subsequently increase the pressure. She wasn't a heavy woman by any means, but she was strong.

"Phoenix, you're safe." Just stay down, or you'll hurt yourself...

The blonde leaned down towards his ear, and lowered her voice.

"Tell me what's going on."

Now Phoenix found he couldn't move. He tried to struggle, but the pressure only increased from there. He was caught. He was a dead man, now. Everyone had been out to kill him and he couldn't escape.

"Please don't kill me," he whimpered, recalling the frightened days of his youth. That's all he could tell her. Obviously she knew what was going on, so what was the use in telling her? She and everyone else was out for his blood.

But he had stopped struggling, merely giving up.

~~samus ripped off his pants and assumed the position~~

That was not at all a helpful answer. She had mostly given up the idea by now of having an intelligent conversation with him, but at least he was somewhere safe... even if that somewhere happened to be under her knee.

Samus gripped the back of his spikey head ~~and said "ow"~~, exerting only enough force to make him turn his head sideways. It was just enough to see his eyes, his big, fearful, dilated eyes. You're definitely on something. She let go, and kept her knee planted on his back, mulling over her options again.

For all she knew Phoenix could be like this for hours, and those were hours she didn't necessarily want want to spend sitting on top of one of her co-workers. Dragging him to nurses office, again, seemed like the only option unless she wanted to bring the gunship into play. Samus was absolutely boggled how to otherwise deal with this... gently.

Ultimately, she decided she wouldn't. Her hand slid up her thigh and rested on the gun holster and the weapon it contained.

"Don't worry." Cold steel pressed up against the back of his skull. Point blank with this gun wouldn't do any damage, maybe leave him with a lingering headache when he woke up at worst, but he'd be lights-out long enough to get him where he needed to be.

"I'm just putting you out of your misery." She pulled the trigger.

Edited 2012-07-28 05:55 (UTC)

No...

He was going to die. He heard the gun come out and he heard all the other sounds associated with it, even if half of those sounds wouldn't make sense to someone who wasn't hallucinating. Either way, his brain interpreted it as a gun pointed at him, going to kill him.

His eyes were shut, dreading what was going to come next, and a small tear flowed down his cheek. This was it.

And then he was gone.

A bang... or more like a loud zap. A bolt of bright pink, paralyzing energy coursed from the end of her gun and into Phoenix's body. Point blank like that should knock him out temporarily, and as she removed the gun it seemed to do just that. He was still. Warm. Breathing. Otherwise unresponsive.

Samus holstered her gun and rolled him over, supporting his head and neck under her hand. His face was... wet. Only a little, but enough to glisten in the sun.

"..." She wiped her thumb across his cheek and furrowed her brow. Whatever was making him act this way wasn't something to be underestimated. With little more than a grunt, she hefted his limp body over her shoulder, and paraded him all the way into the infirmary with no more delusional running or screaming in terror. She could only hope his unconscious mind was not continuing what she hoped to cease.

In the infirmary, Phoenix was deposited carefully on an empty bed. She took inventory of the room and saw no Rhys. Perhaps she had just missed him or maybe he would return soon... as concerned as she was, she was only so close to Phoenix and didn't particularly feel like waiting around for the Paralyzer's effects to wear off, or for Rhys to return... whichever happened first.

...Maybe she could wait just a few minutes. Given the freedom, Samus did what came naturally to her and curiously explored the room; she poked in and out of shelves, duly noted the equipment and tools, bottles of medicine, all the books, the probably-confiscated items from students tucked away in the lower drawers... who knows how long some of these have been here. There was an old match box under some magazines. She took it, briskly flipping it between her fingers, then found herself a wheeled chair and claimed it for her own.

She sat in it backwards with one elbow resting on the back of the chair while her other hand patted down the inside of her jacket. ~~Her boobs were unfortunately in the way.~~ Inside pocket; a single cigar. She knew she shouldn't light up, especially in a room full of medical equipment and a smoke alarm that could be set off, but she decided she didn't care.

"I usually don't have the luxury to smoke." A long drag came with that admittance--so long since she had done it last that her lungs pleasantly burned until they remembered what the sensation felt like. Not a single cough with it.

"It's a dirty, disgusting habit anyway." She idly rolled the stick between her finger tips as she watched the wisps of smoke rise. "Goroh got me these, over a year's worth, in fact... I don't think you'll find them this side of the galaxy. If you keep just one on you, it's usually for a reason." A final smoke.

Samus took another drag, aware she was talking to a sleeping body, aware whatever she was saying probably wouldn't be heard.

"You probably think you're dead right now."

As he lay there, would he dream of her talking, or of horror and death?

"To be honest, if you were hostile there's a chance you might be dead. That's another luxury I usually don't have. I can unfortunately recall many incidents where my gun was used in a lethal manner to solve situations like this." Space cancer corruption was a little bit more dramatic than whatever thing Phoenix was on, but her point...

...the point of her cigar was slowly burning to it's end, almost right to her lips.

"I didn't have the luxury of a choice."

Silence and smoke filled the air for a few moments until she stood and snubbed out what little was left of the cigar on the stand right next to Phoenix. Samus would bid him with parting words before she went on her way.

"For your sake, I hope whatever choice you made that landed you here doesn't happen again."

Chell happened to see the crazy man running around screaming at nothing.

She just linefaced. Hard.

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Outside...???

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How about my phone types all the letters this time, wow

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[Sorry for the slow ;;]

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/vomits all over this end tag

Muncest oops