"You remembered my name," cackled the two-weeks-old pot of mashed potatoes shoved into a pair of exedingly wrinkled nylon pantyhose. "Are you sure it's not me you wanted to talk to?"
The thought is vomit-enducing, like ipecac, but better.
"But I'll go find His Chunkiness. He won't be happy to be woken up at this late hour, my hair all in curlers, and my face mask put on. It's all for vanity's sake, you know." My god, she can't stop talking with that sandpaper-to-the-balls voice. "A woman has to look her loveliest" for Kammy, this was probably at some point during the Cretaceous Period, "you know."
She sets the phone down. There's a couple of minutes of silence on your end. Are you having fun, waiting for a bundle of cobwebs in the shape of a living creature to accost her boss awake with her 'baby seal being clubbed to death by a singing fish wall trophy' voice?
Eventually, a voice comes back onto the line. "WHAT. WHAT IS IT. WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM, CALLING ME AT THIS HOUR AND FORCING ME TO WAKE UP TO KAMMY HOVERING INCHES FROM MY FACE, STARING INTO THOSE DEAD, RHEUMATIC EYES SITTING IN THAT COTTAGE-CHEESE FACE OF HERS?"
no subject
The thought is vomit-enducing, like ipecac, but better.
"But I'll go find His Chunkiness. He won't be happy to be woken up at this late hour, my hair all in curlers, and my face mask put on. It's all for vanity's sake, you know." My god, she can't stop talking with that sandpaper-to-the-balls voice. "A woman has to look her loveliest" for Kammy, this was probably at some point during the Cretaceous Period, "you know."
She sets the phone down. There's a couple of minutes of silence on your end. Are you having fun, waiting for a bundle of cobwebs in the shape of a living creature to accost her boss awake with her 'baby seal being clubbed to death by a singing fish wall trophy' voice?
Eventually, a voice comes back onto the line. "WHAT. WHAT IS IT. WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM, CALLING ME AT THIS HOUR AND FORCING ME TO WAKE UP TO KAMMY HOVERING INCHES FROM MY FACE, STARING INTO THOSE DEAD, RHEUMATIC EYES SITTING IN THAT COTTAGE-CHEESE FACE OF HERS?"
Oh goody, it's Bowser.