"Lucas I..." she bit her lip before blurting out an insult she might regret. This wasn't the time to call anyone anything. She could be serious when the time called for it too. "So-called ugly things never held me back..." she pushed one of her fists to her chest so hard you could hear the thwack. "..I know what I am. If I judged Claus what type of person would I be?" Someone who doesn't care.
Someone I used to be.
"I don't have many regrets," she admitted. "What I did in the past happened and no matter how my views have changed since then, I did what I did back then." She stopped speaking again to take a long breath of air. "I know that people die. I know that all too well..."
A time ago, she remembered not knowing that Hawke was alive and how her first time crying was when she ran into his arms. But she couldn't really explain that to Lucas. The problem wasn't the ugly past. It was what to do about all the people who cared about her. And in the end, she was afraid. Afraid of breaking someone's heart.
That, she finally realized, hurt much more than a thousand deaths.
"You're an amazing brother," she finally told him, completely changing the subject yet remaining in the same tangent. "When we first me I thought you were, well, kinda of a weakling." Lash wasn't one to tiptoe around things. "I guess that was my old way of thinking speaking for me. You have...a truthful heart. And bravery only a few of us could claim as their own." She laughed somewhat bitterly. "Arguable maybe a little crazy too but I still can't imagine facing your own twin..."
She put an arm on him and smiled. Where her eyes humid? It was rather hard to tell.
"One time, I was going to be killed off by Von Bolt, and Jake saved us. Despite the fact we were in opposing fractions. Funny how a few years later I found out he was my half-brother, right? I guess in a way, I'm supposed to be dead somewhere too, huh? Maybe that makes me and Claus even more alike than you think..." Or is it when hell and heaven are full, the dead shall walk the earth once again?
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"Lucas I..." she bit her lip before blurting out an insult she might regret. This wasn't the time to call anyone anything. She could be serious when the time called for it too. "So-called ugly things never held me back..." she pushed one of her fists to her chest so hard you could hear the thwack. "..I know what I am. If I judged Claus what type of person would I be?" Someone who doesn't care.
Someone I used to be.
"I don't have many regrets," she admitted. "What I did in the past happened and no matter how my views have changed since then, I did what I did back then." She stopped speaking again to take a long breath of air. "I know that people die. I know that all too well..."
A time ago, she remembered not knowing that Hawke was alive and how her first time crying was when she ran into his arms. But she couldn't really explain that to Lucas. The problem wasn't the ugly past. It was what to do about all the people who cared about her. And in the end, she was afraid. Afraid of breaking someone's heart.
That, she finally realized, hurt much more than a thousand deaths.
"You're an amazing brother," she finally told him, completely changing the subject yet remaining in the same tangent. "When we first me I thought you were, well, kinda of a weakling." Lash wasn't one to tiptoe around things. "I guess that was my old way of thinking speaking for me. You have...a truthful heart. And bravery only a few of us could claim as their own." She laughed somewhat bitterly. "Arguable maybe a little crazy too but I still can't imagine facing your own twin..."
She put an arm on him and smiled. Where her eyes humid? It was rather hard to tell.
"One time, I was going to be killed off by Von Bolt, and Jake saved us. Despite the fact we were in opposing fractions. Funny how a few years later I found out he was my half-brother, right? I guess in a way, I'm supposed to be dead somewhere too, huh? Maybe that makes me and Claus even more alike than you think..."
Or is it when hell and heaven are full, the dead shall walk the earth once again?