[SUDDENLY AND WITHOUT WARNING, Red picks up the Magikarp and squishes his fishy cheeks like he's been his best bud for life. He also seems to be... Holding a conversation with it.]

... You can do this thing, no problem.

Okay, ready? Try... [Oh no it's only got like two moves. CRAP...] Use Splash!

[MAGIKARP used SPLASH!
MAGIKARP flops around uselessly!]