Garden Club - To use or not to use a Rose

[is-numbah-one.livejournal.com]

*Waluigi is dressed in a gardening outfit, his trademarked gloves changed for a thicker variety. For some reason, he has a bit of blood splattered on the front of his outfit.

In front, there is a neat arrangement of cutting shears, spray water bottles and gloves., along with some pink rose lemonade, a tea set to be used later, some empty glass bottles, rose petals dipped in chocolate and what seems to be dried fruit of some sort.*

Welcome kids! Today we'll be taking care of your roses as usual, but I'll also be showing you just how awesome roses are. Most people, when they think of a rose, they think “Oh something I give to my significant other when I messed up. WRONG! First of all, most girls see that shit coming from a mile away, so it doesn't work. Give it to them before you shit up stuff, it will leave a better impression. At least, I think, since I never really dated anyone...

So Rose uses. Well, did you know, my fellow rose admirers, that some roses bear fruit? Most people call them Rose Hips. They taste slightly bitter, like a cranberry and you can only get them after your roses have fallen off, during the first frost. *points to the dried fruit* I brought some here to taste, if you'd like. They're high in vitamin Cd and good for you, yadde,yadde yadda. Low in fat too! I eat this regularly to keep me in shape.

*points to the chocolate dipped rose petals* Now, this is a treat that you'll want to make to someone you really like a lot, because it takes a lot of work. The problem with making rose dipped chocolate is if your chocolate is too hot, it will shrivel up the rose. If your rose is not fresh enough, then not even the best chocolate in the world can mask the horrible taste. But do it right, and no girl or, hell, even a guy could ever resist you. They never really worked for me however.

That brings me up to my next subject *points to the teapot* Petals of several rose species can be used to brew tea, as long as you mix it with the rose hips. Some or the redder species even colour the tea a bright red. It tastes great with a little bit of sugar. But not too much. Don't want to gain too much weight there, hahaha!

And finally, the deadliest legacy of the rose kingdom. *points to the bottles* PERFUME Yeap, you'll be making perfume with several of the species you wanted. Most of the roses aren't ready now, but by next week *rubs his hands together* Few people ca resist the smell of rose perfume. If you ever wanted to know how I'm well off yet working in this horrible school, look no farther. I'm not going to give out my company numbers, but let's just say...girls like buying perfume. A lot. I wish it would work on me tho. Godamnit

Okay, enough chitchat. Let's get to to work. If you want to make tea today, be sure to pick the freshest roses from your patch as possible, and wash them before dumping them in your teapot. Unless you like roasted ladybug in your afternoon sip. I certainly don't.